words in movies
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Ross: Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads!
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Jamie: It looks like her.
Jamie: Hi, its us.
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
Monica: Ill get it.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Rachel: Well try to keep it down.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Alright, well, maybe now its not okay.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
(Both women gulp in air. Ross looks at his "football," then manipulates the head & limbs back into place, until it resembles what it represents.)
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Rachel: Oh, howd she take it?
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Rachel: Is that it?
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Judy: Anyway, it was lovely seeing you.
Phoebe: No, it did not.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Ross: No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage.
Ross: No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
(someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
Chandler: Let's do it, come on!
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Ross: Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
Amy: (Very excited about it) Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Amy: (thinks about it) You’re right, you’re right! I’m gonna do it!
Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose!
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Monica: (also reading it) It doesn’t make any sense.
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Joey: And its not fake, its totally brutal.
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone?
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Rachel: Yeah, one time, when we were dating, uh we got a late checkout, he got so excited it was the best sex we ever had. Until yknow, he screamed out Radisson at the end.
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
Ross: Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Amy: Well, I can do it.
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Amy: (very excited) Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? (Ross just gives up and leaves)
Monica: You dropped it off?
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
Chandler: (Still looks confused) They loved it.
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Emily: It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things.
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
Ross: Well, if you think it would help.
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it."
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Benjamin: So, tell me about it.
Benjamin: Joking it is!
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Benjamin: No, it starts with a silent "M".
Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Phoebe: I knew it!