words in movies
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Water it is.
Monica: Come on! It wasnt that bad!
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Joey: I call it!!
Phoebe: What?! No! It was my idea!
Joey: Does calling it not mean anything anymore?!
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Ben: Can I do it to you?
Joey: Well then let me do it!
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Monica: Joey look its really sweet
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Monica: It might be kinda cool.
Joey: So I can do it?
Chandler: Yeah you can do it.
Monica: Hey Pheebs, hows it going?
Phoebe: What is it?
Monica: Its Hexadrin.
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Monica: In case it happens.
Monica: You did it! You got ordained?!
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Monica: It doesnt say that!
Joey: " by doin it."
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! Youre really livin it up here in London huh?
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Joey: No-hey-no! If you dont want me to do it, I except that. I dont care about that. I just I dont want you to be upset.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Joey: Really? I can do it?
Chandler: Id love it if you would do it.
Joey: Well I dont know remember exactly but, its-its pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Monica: Yep! And lots of it!
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Emily: It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things.
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Chandler: (trying the handle) It still doesnt work.
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
Ross: Well, if you think it would help.
Ross: How come its always us left in the field holding the ball?
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
RACHEL: (as herself) "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it."
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Benjamin: So, tell me about it.
Benjamin: Joking it is!
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Benjamin: No, it starts with a silent "M".
Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Monica: No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Phoebe: I knew it!
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Ross: Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use?
Monica: It isn't mine!
Monica: What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Mike: It does. It feels really good!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Monica: Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didnt you start feeling silly?
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Rachel: Ok, careful, ok. (Emma giggles) Oh, she’s smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Monica: Really? What is it?
Chandler: Of course it was!
Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
Rachel: Alright fine. I'll do it.
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony)
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Ross: No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous...
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
All: Alright, okay. (Phoebe reaches for the door, and tries to open it but it's locked)
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Rachel: Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, itll still be broken then.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
(Monica takes it and reads the label)
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Monica: Bring it.
Joey: It isn't working.