words in movies
Rachel: (nervous) So it would just be, me alone?
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Water it is.
Monica: Come on! It wasnt that bad!
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
Joey: I call it!!
Phoebe: What?! No! It was my idea!
Joey: Does calling it not mean anything anymore?!
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Ben: Can I do it to you?
Joey: Well then let me do it!
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Monica: Joey look its really sweet
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Monica: It might be kinda cool.
Joey: So I can do it?
Chandler: Yeah you can do it.
Monica: Hey Pheebs, hows it going?
Phoebe: What is it?
Monica: Its Hexadrin.
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you Hexadrin! (She kisses the box.) Oh look! It comes with a story! (She pulls out the instructions and side affects paper.)
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Monica: In case it happens.
Monica: You did it! You got ordained?!
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Monica: It doesnt say that!
Joey: " by doin it."
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Monica: (standing outside) Cute PJs! Youre really livin it up here in London huh?
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Joey: No-hey-no! If you dont want me to do it, I except that. I dont care about that. I just I dont want you to be upset.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Joey: Really? I can do it?
Chandler: Id love it if you would do it.
Joey: Well I dont know remember exactly but, its-its pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Monica: Yep! And lots of it!
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, its beautiful country up there.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Rachel: Give it here. (She takes the table.) Oh, God. (And gives it to Monica right away.)
Monica: Well at least, Im going to mute it.
Ross: (Thinks about it.) Nah.
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
The Doctor: Thats it.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Monica: It is not over! Youre over!
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Rachel: Well, so, why dont you just turn it off?
ROSS: [looking at a glass table with a panther shaped base] Look, check this out. Is it a coffee table, is it a panther? There's no need to decide.
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Chandler: (interrupting) Let it go!!
Joey: Oh, wait-wait! (Reaches into the shower again.) Maybe its a pickle?!
Ross: All right. All right, Im gonna do it!
Ross: No, please, please, um, its for a poor little girl who wants to go to Spacecamp more than anything in the world.
Melissa: Aww, look whos being suddenly shy. You cant tell me you dont feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)
Phoebe: Im telling it! Im telling it!
Rachel: Well, well I can up with it!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
(She tries to demonstrate this unique ability, but only succeeds in choking on it.)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting.
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Alice: You think about it. (Leaves)
[Scene: Joey's bedroom, time lapse. He's asleep and dreaming. In his dream he's doing the crossword puzzle with wait for it Monica!]
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? Cause I think I read it!
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
(Emily spins the bottle and once again, it lands on Joey.)
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
Monica: Nah, I got it.
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
Ross: Its Gandolf, and hes not coming.
Joey: Its not that bad.
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
Chandler: Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back.
Ross: It does not!
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Sarah: Could you do me one favor, if its not too much trouble?
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
Ross: Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.