words in movies
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Joey: Its Rachel.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Chandler: Is it made of cheese?
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Chandler: Sure, why dont you set it up. Ill just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
Rachel: Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it?
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: Does it really matter?
Rachel: Wow! Wow. Wow. Wow, it is hot in here.
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Yeah, it seemed pretty important.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes with.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: How did it go with Erin?
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Rachel: I wanna see it.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Gert: Dancing on your feet! Like the other girls did it.
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Rachel: You think it looked amazing?
Rachel: Yeah, it would be really weird.
Rachel: It was an amazing night.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Rachel: Oh, make it stop!
Rachel: Have to make it stop!!
Rachel: Make it stop!!
Rachel: Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Phoebe: I made it myself.
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
Dr. Drake Ramoray: What is it?
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Is it serious?
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Ross: No! No! Of course it didnt mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, yknow, because-because it was you
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Love it!
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Ross: No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were?
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Ross: Ah, he didnt uh, take it so well?