words in movies
Chandler: Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Chandler: Y'know what maybe its gonna be okay, I mean its been a week.
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Monica: Lets get the show on it!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
Chandler: Yeah, hes really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Ross: Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? (in an Irish accent) Two days of darts, itll be great!
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend.
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Joey: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Phoebe: All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine.
[Chandler crumples up his cigarette pack and throws it on the ground.]
Chandler: At least let me smoke it to the good part.
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
Rachel: So you know how to fix it?
Carol: Ah yeah, but now its Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Carol: Its not that kind of anniversary.
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Ross: I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Carol: No. But its okay, Ill just put out pickles or something.
[Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Rachel: (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees its Ross) Ugh!!!
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Chandler: Oh, this is horrible, its just horrible.
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
Chandler: Its horrible.
Ross: Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Phoebe: Okay. Good, all right, lets get back in the car, cause its freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Ross: Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Chandler: I thought it was $98.50.
Susan: What's it look like?
Rachel: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
Susan: Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was yknow, it was like a dollar.
Rachel: Thanks, you can just put it on the table.
(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Joey: So I guess you all saw it.
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
CHANDLER: Becasue it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Ross: OH MY GOD!! I didnt really believe it until you just said it!!
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Susan: Hi, how's it goin?
Susan: I felt it!
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
Monica: Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all.
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Rachel: I cannot push it in!
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Monica: So, how'd it go?
Chandler: Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend, I just-I just screwed up!
Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have sex tonight so. . .
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
Joey: Have you kissed her yet? Its awesome! I could do it forever! Yknow what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks!
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
MR. TREEGER: Ahh, if it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss ya.
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Chandler: Will we love it so much with her next door? And she's gonna be louder out here too. Just the crickets and (apes Janice's voice) "Oh My God"!
Teacher: You in the back, you're getting it all wrong!
Ross: So how'd it go?
Joey: Yeah, we haven't dropped it in (Looks to Ross.)
Rachel: Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?
Phoebe: No, listening! Sit! Yknow, maybe it would just really, really help if you would just talk.
Phoebe: Do it!
Phoebe: Do it do it do it!
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is watching Days of Our Lives. Of course its a Dr. Drake Remoray scene. Its set in a hospital room, and Dr. Wesley and a nurse are talking about a female patient with a bandage around her head.]
Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring?
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Rachel: No way, forget it.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Rachel: Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!
Chandler: Well! We er..climbed up four flights of stairs, manueveored a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbul... but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
Chandler: Hi, Paul, is it?
Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Phoebe; Oh, incredible! Oh! Champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach, it was sooo ro-man-tic!
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
Rachel: Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
Monica: It just makes more sense as an ensemble.
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Phoebe: What, that's it?
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)