words in movies
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Rachel: We use it!!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Ross: It didnt.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Joey: Well, I want it!
Frank: You can have it!
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
All: Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Frank: Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Ross: Its mine.
Phoebe: So whose ring is it?
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Monica: It wasnt fun?!
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Rachel: Honey dont worry, it was my mistake.
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Phoebe: No! No! Its just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Blueberry it is.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
Monica: Breaks your heart doesnt it
Monica: Umm, she Rach, not it, she.
Monica: It worked!
Ross: Yep, can you believe it?
Ross: Not using it right, Joe.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Joey: Im sorry! It was a reflex!
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Rachel: What? Its true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Doctor: And here it is! (The baby cries.)
Monica: But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are.
Joey: Hey, so how is it?
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
Ross: Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly)
Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Monica: Well its I mean Id justId be self-conscious. Youre my friend; Id be naked.
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Ross: Well, what was it?
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Rachel: Why? What was it?
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Monica: It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball!
Rachel: Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.
Ross: It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Ross: Uh actually, we-weve narrowed it down to two names.
Ross: Its a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Amy: Hurts, doesn't it?
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: but you did say it
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Ross: I'll get it
Chandler: oh it was great.
Chandler: well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock IN NY.C!
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Joey: [It�s just] So spooky, that�s all.
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Monica�s breasts.)
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Monica: (comes over) O-kay, so you wanna play it that way, do you?
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Chandler: I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking.
Monica: Oh good, I hate it when you do that
Chandler: Right, fine, I�ll do it, but no talking.
Monica: Thats not how you see me, is it?
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Chandler: Mean it?
Ross: Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you.
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Chandler: Leave it.