words in movies
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Rachel: We use it!!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Ross: It didnt.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Joey: Well, I want it!
Frank: You can have it!
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
All: Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Frank: Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
(Everyone says no and folds, except for Ross, who thinks about it.)
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. It's the pizza delivery girl.)
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!
Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
MONICA: Are you sure he didn't break it because it really hurts.
Phoebe: W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Monica: Isn’t it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
Monica: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Ross: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?
CHANDLER: So how'd it go?
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But thats all right, heres the number you can call.
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Mr. Treeger: Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And Im sad. (Exits.)
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Barry: Well, if you want, I'll justI'll just break it off with her.
Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
Joey: Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but its just Ive never even been nominated before! I want it so much.
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Joey: Forget about it. Its no big deal.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Monica: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Chandler: You got it. (Starts looking at the pad, while Ross got the turkey out of the fridge and starts to unwrap and it) You got Nevada twice.
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]