words in movies
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Rachel: We use it!!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Ross: It didnt.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Joey: Well, I want it!
Frank: You can have it!
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
All: Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Frank: Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Chandler: Oh, its so hard to care when youre this relaxed.
Phoebe: Hi, Bubbles. Manly. Well, I just thought I would drop by and let you know how it went with Joey.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Monica: It sure is nice to do this together, isnt it?
Phoebe: Oh, it has a name?
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Monica: No, it doesnt say where it came from. Where would we return it?
Monica: Oh, okay. Here, why dont you let me do it?
Monica: Why dont we just find a place for it?
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Joey: I know! I know! Come on, please-please you guys, dont-dont be mad. Im sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Yknow? And it was our first date! Plus, shes really sick!
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Mr. Geller: I wanna be buried at sea, it looks like fun.
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
Rachel: Who is it?
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Ross: No! No its not. Joey, this is a smart idea.
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
Phoebe: Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Monica: Well its just umm Im afraid you might mess it up.
Phoebe: Thats it. Just relax.
Phoebe: You want it there? You take it there baby!
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Joey: Hey, so, uh, hows it going living over at Ross?
EDDIE: Naah, I crapped out, but Mr. 21 over here he cleans up, 300 bucks, check it out he buys me these new shoes, sweet huh?
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Ross: What is it?
Woman on TV: Ohhh! Make it stop!
Monica: In the beginning where yknow its all sex and talking and sex and talking and
Monica: What is it?
Monica: (to herself) Ive still got it!
Chandler: You dont know. You didnt see it.
Chandler: How long it took to go back in the water?
Mona: I think its interesting.
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Mona: Okay, but its Valentines Day!
[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it wont budge.]
Monica: How long has it been this time?
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
(Chandler takes the tape and sticks it under the chair cushion)
Rachel: Why? You saw it? Is it scary?
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Chandler: Oh, and we should warn you, before you watch it: dont watch it.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Monica: I swear, if you try it, you will love it!
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
Rachel: Uh! Its horrible!
Rachel: Oh, screw you guys, you dont have to do it!
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but shes a tough old bird.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Joey: Its nothing.
Ross: Hey, hey, its me. Why cant you tell me?
Ross: Cmon! Joey! What is it?
Ross: Anyway, so, uh, so what is it?
Joey: You dont have to seem so happy about it.
Ross: I knew it. So, is she someone from work?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Joey: Its Rachel.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Joey: Its Rachel.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
Rachel: Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!