words in movies
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Ross: Nothing, its just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Rachel: We use it!!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Ross: It didnt.
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Joey: Well, I want it!
Frank: You can have it!
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: I couldnt help it, there love is so pure.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Phoebe: Y'know what, forget it. Its ruined.
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.
All: Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.
Pete: One meal! Thats all Im asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you dont have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.
Frank: (hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. Its-its me!
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Frank: Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Frank: Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, its still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now its, and now its gone and I dont know why!
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Chandler: Well, my apartment isnt there anymore, because I drank it.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Bonnie: Y'know what, I should do it.
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah! (He drapes it around his shoulders.) Enh? All right, what do you think?
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Bonnie: You wanna touch it?
Bonnie: Come on, touch it!
Ross: Nooo, but it, but its great.
(They all pause and think about it.)
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is.
Ross: Well, eww. What? Is it a pimple?
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Ross: It was soo not an accident. She saw I was about to tag her, so she threw her big fat grandma arm elbow right into my face. And just keep running.
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Rachel: Oh, making it worse!
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Guru Saj: We appear to have angered it.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Sandy: Y'know, when I saw you at the store last week, it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Monica: I dont know exactly. Its-its sorta like wrestling.
Ross: Its over.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Rachel: Oh, was it awful?
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
Rachel: Does it?
Rachel: So umm, does it?
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Monica: Its like two miles!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Phoebe: Wow! And Im a vegetarian! All right, all right, well Im sorry, well put some ice on it.
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
JOEY: Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
Ross: Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh! Theyre maternity pants. They even came with a list of baby names. (Pulls out a sheet of paper which lists whos been naughty and whos been nice.) See, these names are good, and these names are bad. (Finally, she figures it out.) Ohh.
Phoebe: Its not like we-we know each other or anything. Or that have anything in common.
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Phoebe Sr.: I knew it, wow!!
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
Phoebe: All right, stop it. Now youre just doing it to freak me out.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Phoebe: No! No!! Its me! Its me! I-I didnt want to make any noise!
MNCA: We'll put buckles on it.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Phoebe: Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Phoebe: But, its not like were losing anything. Y'know?
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
(Chandler sticks out is tongue and its a horrible shade of green.)
CHAN: OK, what is it about me? Do I not look fun enough? Is there something. . . repellant. . . about me?
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Ross: Why? Did you write it?
Joey: Its All Relative.
Chandler: You want it?
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?
Monica: Well forget it! It doesnt hurt that (tries to take a step) baaad!!!!
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Rachel: I believe it.
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Monica: Oh, but its made her so happy.
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.