words in movies
Rachel: Who wrote it?
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Ross: No, but it is frowned upon.
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Elizabeth: (checks her grade) Oh, yknow what? Forget it, you already gave me an A.
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Rachel: Everythings ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Chandler: Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Elizabeth: Yes you did! What was it?
Ross: Umm, its Cutie McPretty.
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Fireman #2: It couldve been a hair straightener.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Monica: So its okay to date a student.
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica: Hey! Hows it goin?
Monica: Yes it has! I made cookies!
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Elizabeth: Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, its really hot.
Ross: Well I-I-I dont care how hot it is its-its uh, its wrong.
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Ross: (feeling it too) No! No! Its wrong! Its-its-its naughty. Its taboo.
Chandler: Its Thursday! How was the audition?!
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Monica: Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, youll know its mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, theres a very noticeable rip.
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
Ross: Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! (She gets it lifted up and they make the first turn.) Okay. You got it?
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, it matters to me!
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didn't even think about it.
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Ross: Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure theyll come back when we can do it right.
Leslie: Y'know you could totally sell this. Itd be perfect for like umm, a kitty litter campaign.
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!
Ross: Split it?
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it again?
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: Did you make it, or are you just serving it?
Rachel: I'm just serving it.
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, the guys are still playing the game only everyone is really into it.]
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Joey: (returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe�s chair) Pheebs, who the hell�uhuhh!
Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Rachel: Its just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Chandler: Maybe its the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Joey: Y'miss it?
Chandler: Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Chandler: All right! Ten buck! Fork it over! Cough it up! Pay the piper! Gimme it.
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Monica: We're with you. We got it.
All: Ohhh! Put it out!
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Joey: Let it go, Ross.
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Rachel: Of course its true and it hurts so bad.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
(He carries her over to the door and opens it.)
Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?
Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.
MONICA: Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will.
Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Chandler: You got it.
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Pass it! Pass it!
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! Its Thanksgiving, its not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?