words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Chandler: Its a dog.
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
Parker: Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history? {Transcribers Note: Interestingly Alec Baldwin was born in Massapequa.}
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Man: Where did you have it?
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Ross: Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it.
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Chandler: Your liking it, huh?
Richard: You want me to cancel it?
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Chandler: No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Chandler: Yeah, hes really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Steve: Oh look, you don't have to give it too me right now! You can slip it under my door. (Points to his apartment across the hall.)
(Joey starts to return the fumble and Chandler grabs Joeys shirt and rips it off of his back.)
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Rachel: How often do you read it?
ROSS: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
CHANDLER: Ho, ho, ho, holy crap is it hot in here!
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
[Scene: The park, its dark outside and Monica and Ross are still fighting over the ball.]
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
MONICA: I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!
(We the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)
(Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.)
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
MONICA: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Rachel: (in triumph) I got a touchdown! We did it!!
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Monica: Wow! Its like Rachel in High School.
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely, well it definitely took me by surprise, but Im okay.
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Gary: Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it?
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Chandler: What time is it now?
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: This teramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Ross: No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Mark: Oh, hi. Its Mark.
Mark: Its for me.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Ross: Hi! Its me.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldnt. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
RACHEL: It is our first official date. Our first date.
Chandler: Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
CHANDLER: Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Is it bad?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Rachel: Yeah, but its okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
Ross: Chloe, Chloe hows it coming?!!
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Rachel: I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
Monica: Come on! Come on, I was kidding! It was such an obvious joke!
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!