words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Chandler: Its a dog.
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
Parker: Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history? {Transcribers Note: Interestingly Alec Baldwin was born in Massapequa.}
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Man: Where did you have it?
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Monica: Okay its time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year Im going to do it.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Monica: Yeah, I thought it was cute.
Joey's Date: Ew, yknow what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Sophie: You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. Thats it, on Monday I start wearing make-up.
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!
Ross: It does. It really and truly does.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Phoebe: I dont get it.
Ginger: Okay. Its just like anything else, you just have to get used to it.
Chandler: What is it?
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Rachel: Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Mark: What? Is it my breath?
Rachel: Does it hurt?
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Chandler: You dont have it.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
CHAN: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
Joey: What, what is it?
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Monica: Oh, would you let it go already?! Youre fine!
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
Chandler: Is it on?
KID: Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it!
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Monica: Youre doing it again.
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
Monica: Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Rachel: (answering it) (angrily) What?!
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!