words in movies
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
Phoebe: No reason, its just I know a single guy that cares about other people.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Joey: Call it even?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Elizabeth: Its a bathing suit?
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Elizabeth: Oh, dont worry I have plenty of sun block, its SPF-30.
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
(Rachel does so and its one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see )
Rachel: Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesnt know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)
MNCA: Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know... but, uh, I'm kind of worried about you.
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Joey: All right, I'll take care of it.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Joey: Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, youre not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Rachel: Oh, its so easy for you I mean, youre not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Caitlin: Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Joey: Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually its just gonna be me again tonight.
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are finally breaking up for good, or is it?]
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Tommy: Oh, you thought, huh? Yeah, well that didnt really work out too well for you did it you idiot!! What are you?! A moron!! Huh?! It says D-13! Okay?! Look youre surrounded by even numbers!! Did that give you some clue?!
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
EDDIE: No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
DR. BURKE: Yeah, it sure does. [they hug and it turns into a passionate kiss]
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Ross: Its Ben and his Da-Da. Da-Da? Can you say Da-Da? Yknow, you might as well say it because I told your
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
Mindy: I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid.
Matthew: It is when were able to crack each other up.
Bill: I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Rachel: Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Hugsy and I can't find it?
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Ross: Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.
Rachel: Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Rachel: Oh, I blew it. I wouldnt of even hired me.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Joey: So I'm thinking, basically we pick it up and then we flip it.
Earl: Couldnt it just be a coincidence?
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
CHAN: OK, let's do it. [Monica looks at him funny] What?
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Chandler: I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. Itll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?
Rachel: Yeah, love. Its a tricky business isnt it?
Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Chandler: Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
Colleen: I would have told him to do it too.
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
RACH: I can see that. I... just one phone call, I'll be very quick, I'll even pay for it myself. [man is still reluctant] OK, you're bein' a little weird about your phone.
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)