words in movies
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
Phoebe: No reason, its just I know a single guy that cares about other people.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Joey: Call it even?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Elizabeth: Its a bathing suit?
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Elizabeth: Oh, dont worry I have plenty of sun block, its SPF-30.
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
(Rachel does so and its one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see )
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Yeah, it seemed pretty important.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Ross: Why? What-what else could it be?
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes with.]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: How did it go with Erin?
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Gunther: We dont give anything away unless its someones birthday.
Chandler: Well maybe it was all of your questions.
Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
Ross: Forget it, shes destroying it.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Rachel: I wanna see it.
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Gert: Dancing on your feet! Like the other girls did it.
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Rachel: You think it looked amazing?
Rachel: Yeah, it would be really weird.
Rachel: It was an amazing night.
Ross: It was. It was an amazing night.
Rachel: Oh, make it stop!
Rachel: Have to make it stop!!
Rachel: Make it stop!!
Rachel: Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Phoebe: I made it myself.
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
Dr. Drake Ramoray: What is it?
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Is it serious?
MR. GELLER: [enters with his bat] Found it.
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Ross: No! No! Of course it didnt mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, yknow, because-because it was you
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Chandler: It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: Love it!
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Phoebe: Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Ross: No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were?
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Ross: Ah, he didnt uh, take it so well?