words in movies
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Phoebe: It starts?
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: And they knew about it?
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Rachel: Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Ross: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Dr. Franzblau: It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be?
Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Rachel: Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos (touching Paolo's nose with forefinger with each syllable)
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
Monica: Phoebe, what is it?
Monica: Was it...?
Phoebe: Well, that’s what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Chandler: (jumping on the bed) I can't believe it! We're here!
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Ross: (entering) How's it going?
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Roger: That's pretty much it.
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Roger: But you tell it really well, sweetie.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.
Monica: How's it going?
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
Monica: How's it going?
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Ross: I love it, when we share.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together.
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Chandler: (surprised) It is?
Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Carol: That could be it.
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
All: What is it?
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Rachel: Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture...
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
(Phone rings. Monica answers it.)
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Joey: Say it... say it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]