words in movies
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Phoebe: It starts?
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: And they knew about it?
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Rachel: Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you...
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Richard: Who is it?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Chandler: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and i was somebody else's subconscious.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Richard: Its okay! Shh! Hey. Hey. (Hugs her) Shhhh.
(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad.� Then, he stops and re-reads it.� Rachel enters.)
Chandler: Well why didnt you stop her?! Why didnt you just tell her it was a plan?!
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
CHANDLER: You got a Cheeto on your face man.[Joey removes the Cheeto and eats it]
Phoebe: Got it.
Joey: That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here!
Phoebe: Oh no, let her stay out there. Its sweet.
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
(He holds up a white poster with huge red letters. It reads, "Welcome Home Baby." There is also a huge red stain on the left of the poster.)
MONICA: It is nothing like the Hobbit. It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had, except for Richard.
Phoebe: Oh honey no, you ate it all.
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Rachel: Shake it off.
Rachel: No, absolutely. Yknow like it was umm
MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?
Dr. Green: What is it sweetie?
ROSS: But I don't know it. What I do know is that you owe $2300 at Isn't it Chromantic.
Chandler: Its happened to you?
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Monica: No its not! No! No! Now its about you and Ross getting back together!
Ross: It is! It is!
Rachel: Oh honey, but it is just about
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Honey I swear it we just kissed.
Joey: Err... I just figured it out! You know, I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.
Rachel: No-no, its really not huge.
Monica: Well, were still talking about it, arent we?
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Ross: Still thinking about it huh?
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Chandler: Okay, dont say anything, you might scare it away.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Monica: And yet, here we are doing it again.
Monica: I just thought it would be nice if I could have just this one night!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Ross: Uh, Rachel, Ive been thinking. I dont think us getting together tonight is such a good idea. Im calling it off.
Rachel: Were not gonna do this, all right? Shes just gonna think that were doin it.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Ross: Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think Ill show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
Rachel: Who is it?
Monica: (outside the door) Its Monica, open up!
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Joey: You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?!
Joey: I know. (Joey is sitting in this tall chair that is made up of balls on polls. Youll have to see it to know what I mean.) Yeah, his name is Pat.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Monica: Okay, lets do it. Mom and Dad are gonna be so faced!
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Phoebe: Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.
Monica: Yes it is! You saw me wearing it!
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
Monica: What? You freak! You wouldnt even have known about this place if it wasnt for me!
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Female Jeweler: I just sold it to that gentleman. (Points to the one walking out the store.)
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Chandler: Ill teach ya! Come on, come on, its really easy and really, really fun.
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Phoebe: If you dont sail your boat, what do you do on it?
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Chandler: Nothing, I just like to go like this. (Does it again.)
Ross: No, I-I thought it would be more fun this way.
Rachel: Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya!
Danny: Oh wow, you look great! Glad you could make it.
Chandler: It happened in London.
Chandler: Cause its gross.
Chandler: Dont worry about it Pheebs.
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?