words in movies
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Phoebe: It starts?
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Monica: Oh my God! Its like one mind.
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: And they knew about it?
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: Honey, its gonna be okay.
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that were gonna get married.
Phoebe: Look, why dont you just pay for it yourself?
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Rachel: Well what?! How-how much is it?!
Monica: Its enough for wedding scenario eight.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Rachel: Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
Chloe: Well, youre practically dancing already. Why dont you just do it over here?
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Trudie Styler: Hi! (By the way, its actually her.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Ross: (interrupting) No, Rach, no. I dont, I dont, I dont have to think about it, in fact, Ive decided, Ive decided that, that it.......does.
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Hums While He Pees: I know its really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss andOh no! No! No! My God!
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Chandler: Its not gonna be exactly like last time.
Chandler: It came up.
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Phoebe: I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa...
Rachel: I dont know, Id leave it on the changing table? (Everyone gasps.) What?! Whatd I do? Whatd I do?!
[Time lapse, Monica accidentally spilled her drink on Bob's shirt and is wiping it off. Joey is making eyes at Angela.]
Monica: Wasn't it a lot more exciting when we were y'know all over each other all the time?
PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Chandler: Richard! No one supposed to know about us! (Richard just smiles at him.) See I, did it again.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Rachel: Oh no! No! It's actuallyit's very sweet. It's very sweet. Look! (Goes to pet it and it hisses at her.) Yeah, do you want it?
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
Joey: Oh...baby-proofing... Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know, when I was a kid it was like.. "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er.. "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!
Chandler: Uch, do you think, Monica is gonna be able smell it?
Ross: Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time.
Joey: So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? Youre gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself without a husband?! You cant be a single mother alone! Youre gonna ruin your life!
Chandler: What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Rachel: Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can'tI still can't believe it. (Rachel grabs the picture from Monica)
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Monica: It was so wild! We told em we were the Gundersons in 16
ROSS: Monica, Monica, you could come in straddling him, they still wouldn't believe it. [opens door] We're here.
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Phoebe: See no-no, I made a batch and I froze it, and this is the only one left.
Monica: All right, half the people. I mean, just try it and see.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
Rachel: Well, itd better not be about the apartment pants, because I just pitched the idea to my boss at Ralph Lauren and she loved it.
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
BIG BULLY: Maybe we didn't make it clear enough.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, I dont know. I mean its not like we dont have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza.
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
Elizabeth: (checks her grade) Oh, yknow what? Forget it, you already gave me an A.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Chandler: Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again!
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here.
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
(Joey visibly thinks 'Of course!' and writes it down.)
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Rachel: Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.
Chandler: Who cares? Its a stupid game.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Phoebe: (Groans) Is it Chandler?
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?