words in movies
Joey: The reactors gonna blow in three seconds, were never gonna make it!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: Its your turn.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: So it did go well.
Joey: Oh, it went amazingly well!
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Interviewer: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Was it...
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Ross: It took two people to break up this relationship!!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: What?! Its 6 oclock!
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
Chandler: Noo! (takes him out) Oh, its okay, its okay, baby, baby, baby.
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Steve: Oh, okay, I get it. (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
Kathy: If you want it to be.
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Monica: Man, I knew it! I knew you were going to do this!!
Monica: And its a magnet!
Ross: No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. Its how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Monica: Heres your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Of course, I mean, shes gonna get over this, yknow? I mean, so you said my name! Yknow you just said it cause you saw me there, if youd have seen a circus freak, you wouldve said, "I take thee circus freak." Yknow, it didnt mean anything, its just a mistake. It didnt mean anything. Right?
Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
CHANDLER: All right, call it in the air.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
The Smoking Woman: Yeah I can, it worked real well.
Ross: Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!
Ross: Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Phoebe: so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Guy: Don't worry about it. It's not a problem.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait.
Monica: Oh its umm, good! It's umm, its good, just here watering the plants.
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
Ross: All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Monica: Who is it?
Kathy: Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear!
Ross: But-but, if you dont love this, well do it in any other place at any other time. Really, its fine, whatever you want.
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Joey: Hey, it's a lot harder than it looks! Okay? (Quietly) She-she-she's hurting me.
Ross: (thinks) I take it.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Phoebe: Okay, stop! Larry, okay, can't you just be Larry and not Larry the health inspector guy? Y'know I mean it was really exciting at first but now it's like, okay, so where are we gonna eat ever?
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
Phoebe: Come on, seriously! When did it end?
Monica: I know it is the best.
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it?
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Monica: Why? Cause otherwise youd go for it?
Joey: Thats help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Mr. Zelner: Here let me (He goes to wipe it off himself.)
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Ross: It doesn't matter! It's my principles! We're talking about my principles!
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
(She sets her bag down on the foosball table and Joey sees the Toblerone bar sticking out of it and gazes longingly at it.)
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Rachel: This one? (Picks it up.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Joey: All right now, memorize it. (Pause) You got it?
Gunther: I like it. (sneezes)
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Phoebe: Okay, great so do you want to do it together?
Monica: I would love to do it together!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Chandler: Yeah, it is the best.
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Phoebe: I got it! Mine!
Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together.