words in movies
Joey: The reactors gonna blow in three seconds, were never gonna make it!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: Its your turn.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: So it did go well.
Joey: Oh, it went amazingly well!
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Interviewer: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Was it...
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Ross: It took two people to break up this relationship!!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: What?! Its 6 oclock!
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Joey: Its uh, right through there. (Points.)
Joey: Yeah, lifes pretty great isnt it?
Rachel: Yeah, it sure is!
Chandler: Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad.
Phoebe: Uh huh! If its a girl, Phoebe, and if its a boy, Phoebo!
Carol: Looks like it.
Monica: People! People say it! Come here! (She grabs him and kisses him.)
Susan: Oh, I wouldnt miss it for the world.
Monica: Stop it!! Thats not funny!!
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
Monica: Im sorry, okay? It justtonight was supposed to be yknow, it was supposed to be a big deal.
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Monica: Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me?
Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.
Chandler: Stop it! Were doing this! Lets do it!
Chandler: Yeah, lets just forget it.
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
Guru Saj: It got caught on my watch.
Ross: It was, it was okay.
Joey: All right! So, was it amazing?
Joey: Just okayDid you do it right?!
Ross: It really was!
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Chandler: Im totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then theyre gonna go to their cast parties and hes gonna try to undermine me. Y'know itll be like, "So wheres your boyfriend, whats-his-name, Chester?" And shell go, "No-no-no, its Chandler." And hell go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Ross: Howd did it go?
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Woman: Hey Pheebs! Hows it going?!
Jack: Take it easy. (Sits her down.)
Rachel: Oh. (Doesnt believe it.)
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Joey: Uhh do it?
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
Ross: All right, maybe it means that too
Ross: No, its a concept!
Gary: Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?
Rachel: What? Im not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.
Gunther: (approaching with a tray with an order on it) Joey!
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
RACHEL: Ok Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
Cop: Yeah. I mean, I coulda done it better, but these people keep staring at me.
Phoebe: Now, its you little bunny friend. (She sticks it in Rachels face and they both laugh.)
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Joey: But its $2,000.
Eric: (finds it) What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Phoebe: Shes made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Monica: Oh, I love it! Thank you so much!
Chandler: Oh, its okay. I dont
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is The Way You Look Tonight on it?!
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Monica: I wanna wake up early and go get it for you!
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Chandler: Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Rachel: Say it!
Rachel: Say it!
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Ross: Oh, I know. (Laughs) Yknow, just-just talking about it is getting me kinda
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
(Suddenly, a strange and familiar voice comes out of the tape player. Heres a hint, OH MY GAWD!! Thats right, its Janice!)
Ross: Its a great class.
Monica: (not buying it) Uh-huh.
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Rachel: Who wrote it?
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! How bad was it?
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Monica: Oh well, its not so bad.
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Ross: But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I dont think theres really anything you can do about it.
Rachel: Oh b-b-but it is!
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
Rachel: Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no ones fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
Elizabeth: Yes you did! What was it?
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.