words in movies
Joey: The reactors gonna blow in three seconds, were never gonna make it!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: Its your turn.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: So it did go well.
Joey: Oh, it went amazingly well!
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Chandler: Well, it is overdue.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Interviewer: Uh-huh. Is it dirty?
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Was it...
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Chandler: Well, maybe we can fix it yknow? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Ross: It took two people to break up this relationship!!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: What?! Its 6 oclock!
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Chandler: You dont have it.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
CHAN: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
Joey: What, what is it?
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Monica: Oh, would you let it go already?! Youre fine!
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
Chandler: Is it on?
KID: Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it!
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Monica: Youre doing it again.
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
Monica: Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Rachel: (answering it) (angrily) What?!
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Monica: Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Rachel: You guys! It was bananas, cream, and beef! I-I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldnt feel bad!
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Mona: Yeah, yknow. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. Itll be cute, okay?
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Ross: (to Monica): Could you take it to Carol's every now and then, and show it to Ben, just so he doesn't forget me?
Ross: Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!