words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Joey: You got it!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Chandler: So is your apron. Youre wearing it like a cape.
Chandler: It is starting to get dark out there.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Chandler: Okay, uh, how about, how aboutyknow what? We could play a new game. A new game, its fun.
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Rachel: Well its mine too! What else you got?!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Mr. Burgin: Well just grab some food and take it with us right upstairs, and well be right out of you hair.
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Chandler: Yes it would. What do you say to $50?
Rachel: Oh, its gonna be fine.
Joey: Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Chandler: I cant take the big white dog! You love it!
Guy All the Way in the Back: Yeah, I heard it.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Chandler: It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.
Phoebe: Come on, do it.
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, and Monica are still playing catch, with Chandler looking on. Joey throws the ball to Monica who catches it and whips it at Ross.]
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Chandler: I think its great. Its great. Yknow, theyre thinking of changing the name of this place.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it?
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: Hey Mon, how's it going?
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Phoebe: It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
(Suddenly, theres movement beside her, startling her. Its Ross! He wakes up and they both start screaming in terror. Then they both grab their heads having aggravated their hangovers.)
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Chandler: Would you just please....give me the receipt cause this is great. Its top notch.
Ross: Maybe its a universal thing?
Janine: No, I just thought it was cute.
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Janine: Its clean.
Janine: Its dry.
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Kim: I didnt read it.
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Chandler: Its an old key!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Monica: It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I�m ovulating, and when we don�t do it now, we�ll have to wait till next month. (walks towards bedroom)
Ross: And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a "why do you say that" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Chandler: Oh God. It's shovely-Joe, isn't it?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Phoebe: Ohh, yes it would.
Ross: (stops her) Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, Ive been thinking, Im just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you.
Chloe: (seeing Ross enter) Hey, its the dinosaur guy. (runs over to Ross) Hi, Ross.
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Joey: Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. Someone from work, too. And I could never do that to the guy, because were really good friends.
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Chandler: Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what is it?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Rachel: Okay, I thought it was about your neighbors liking you.
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)