words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Joey: You got it!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Ross: Its no surprise that your winning, cause you got to pick first, so you got the better team.
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Rachel: Chandler gets it! Its Chandler Bing!
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Chandler: Okay, I promise, Ill end it.
Monica: Yeah, I thought it was cute.
Joey's Date: Ew, yknow what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Sophie: You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. Thats it, on Monday I start wearing make-up.
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!
Ross: It does. It really and truly does.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Phoebe: I dont get it.
Ginger: Okay. Its just like anything else, you just have to get used to it.
Chandler: What is it?
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Rachel: Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Mark: What? Is it my breath?
Rachel: Does it hurt?
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Chandler: You dont have it.
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Rachel: Its me! Good morning!
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Rachel: (shouting) Its All Relative!!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
CHAN: Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
Monica: Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
Joey: What, what is it?
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Ross: Its heads. (The guys celebrate.) Gentlemen, pick your category.
Monica: Oh, would you let it go already?! Youre fine!
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Phoebe: Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?
Phoebe: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, its not your fault.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
Ross: Right, but, it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us. And so I uh, hah-hah, I just heave it down field.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Chandler: Its the semi-finals of her botchy ball tournament.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
Chandler: Is it on?
KID: Thanks a lot. Hey Christine, I got it!
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Monica: Youre doing it again.
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
Monica: Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Rachel: (answering it) (angrily) What?!
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
Monica: Okay listen, yknow when you move in Rachels room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!