words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Rachel: (freaks) Ross! Stop it! Come on!
Rachel: Just stop it! Come on!
Phoebe: Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?
Monica: Well, it just seems that
Chandler: Uh, no Pheebs. What's it look like?
Phoebe: Uh, it's a piece of paper and it says, "Ross" on it.
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Joey: You got it!
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
Ross: Phoebe, are you, are you mad at me, or something? 'Cause if are please, tell me what it is I did!
Ross: Well, whatever it is I'm-I'm very, very sorry. Okay?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Rachel: Eh! Stop it!
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Monica: Okay! All right! Let's do it!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Rachel: Monica! Stop it!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Monica: (answering it) Hello?
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.
Ross: Yeah, all right, its a date. (He leaves)
Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! Its so beautiful!
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Emily: (checks the clock) Ohh, its time to go.
ROSS: Well, this was fun. Uh, we should really do it again sometime, wha'dya say? Ok. Alright so I've got him.
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: Its 6:00.
Chandler: Totally worth it!
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
Chandler: Thats it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Monica: Okay, throw it straight this time.
Phoebe: Well, at least you didnt rent yours from a store called, "Its Not Too Late."
Phoebe: Oh, how did it go?
Rachel: It’s a standard issue bra clasp!
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
(Rachel takes the ball from his hands and bounces it off of Rosss forehead and Chandler catches the rebound.)
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this cant be it, I mean.
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
Rachel: Ughhhh!! Forget it! (Sits down heavily on the bed.) This is, this is not how this is supposed to happen.
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Ross: Okay, its not, its not.
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Chandler: Its yelling bleeding dilating. Oh, the dilating
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
Rachel: Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?
Chandler: Why not?! I mean its just, its just climbing! Its just, its just steep!
Chandler: No, she's not okay? And I'll prove it to you. I'm gonna call her right now. (Picks up the phone and wipes it off) Phone's done ehh.
Rachel: No, Ill think about it. Yeah.
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
Monica: Oh, we were playing "peek-a-boo." She just � she loves it when I'm dramatic.
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Ross: Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay were never gonna get along.
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Ross: Y'know, hey! Youre the one who ended it, remember?
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Monica: Oh, dad, turn it off.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Ross: Y'know what? I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
Clerk: Eight oclock is the cut-off and, (looks at his watch) aww, its 8:02.
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Monica: How's it going with her?
Chandler: Oh, its awkward. Its awkward. Its awkward.
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Monica: Why do you need it?
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Joey: You got it.
Joey: Uh-huh, not as high as (picks a card) It worked! King!
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
MNCA: You know what? It seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately.
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Chandler: Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesnt say cool anymore.
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Rachel: Oh, come on Ross! I think it would be really good for you!
Monica: Oh my God, sit down! Sit down! How long as it been since weve seen each other?
DOCTOR: No, under these circumstances it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Monica: Im so glad you liked it.
Ross: Oh, thanks! (Takes it and throws it back into the box and leaves.)
Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!