words in movies
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Ross: Aww, is it broken?
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Ross: There it is.
Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.
Ross: And it works both ways.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Chandler: And that's how you bought it?
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Fireman #2: No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. Its looks like a curling iron.
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Monica: Yknow, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean its probably nothing, but I just wanted to warn you that there might be something there.
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
Joey: Yeah, not it here it isnt.
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Jill: Well okay, if it means that much to you, then Ill ask him out.
Joey: But it really
Joey: What? No-no its her birthday!
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! Id really like it if we could be friends.
Chandler: So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?
Chandler: Its nice.
Monica: Fine, Ill rub it on myself.
Rachel: Well, I-I dont like it.
Rachel: Its kinda slutty.
Jill: Its yours!
Rachel: Oh yes, its me! Sorry!
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
Joey: You wanna make it 6?!
Ross: Uhh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.
Joey: Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Rachel: Yeah do it now, call right now.
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Phoebe: Come on. It doesn't taste bad.
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
(Kim exhales and Chandler stares at it longingly.)
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Rachel: Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Chandler: Thats right! It was the wrong kind of eight, no wedding! Damnit!
Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Monica: Okay, can we change the topic? Because its really doing nothing for me.
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Rachel: Well its hard to tell (Rachel gets up to get a closer look, only shes having some trouble.) Oh God, if she would just stop moving.
Ross: Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way.
Monica: Stop it!
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around.
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Phoebe: Its Phoebe! Phoebe!
Ursula: Who is it?
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Rachel: So uh, so did anything happen? Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes!
Ross: (answering it) Hello?
Joey: Thats great, but isnt it gonna bother that people still think youre a porn star?
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn�t it? How d�you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Ross: No-no. Its-its me, Ross!
Ross: No, its okay. Some-some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I dont
Ross: (putting the magazine back and holding the money for it) Okay.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Phoebe: No, its just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming in from doing his laundry. He starts folding it as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here.
Chandler: Uh-oh, its my boss!
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Chandler: No! Look, I dont cry! Its not a big deal! Okay?!
Joey: I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! (Goes back to the door) I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. (Looks through the spyhole)
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Ross: Okay, I think I got it.
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
Phoebe: How long has it been since you had sex?
Monica: Sorry. So hows it going with Joey?