words in movies
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Ross: Aww, is it broken?
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Ross: There it is.
Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.
Ross: And it works both ways.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Chandler: And that's how you bought it?
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
[Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.]
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Phoebe: Im telling it! Im telling it!
Rachel: Well, well I can up with it!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Well, its just that maternity clothes are so expensive.
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
(She tries to demonstrate this unique ability, but only succeeds in choking on it.)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting.
Monica: Its a globe and, a pencil sharpener.
Alice: You think about it. (Leaves)
[Scene: Joey's bedroom, time lapse. He's asleep and dreaming. In his dream he's doing the crossword puzzle with wait for it Monica!]
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? Cause I think I read it!
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Parker: Its a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Monica: You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Joey: Oh my God, Im sorry, Im being so rude. (Turns to Rachel.) Rachel, would like a soda or something? Because Chandler would run right out and get it.
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
(Emily spins the bottle and once again, it lands on Joey.)
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Pete: I want to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion! Its the most intense physical competition in the world, its banned in 49 states!
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
Monica: Nah, I got it.
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
Ross: Its Gandolf, and hes not coming.
Joey: Its not that bad.
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Chandler: Its Clint! Clint!
Chandler: Blue blazer back. He-he wants it back.
Ross: It does not!
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Chandler: You wanna hug it out?
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Sarah: Could you do me one favor, if its not too much trouble?
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Chandler: Yknow what? Its gonna be okay. Yknow what? Shes probably not gonna even want to come.
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
Ross: Oh yeah, Emily convinced me to do it.
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Joey: Its the Knicks!
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Monica: Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Monica: Oh, just do it!!
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Cookie: Ill do it.
Chandler: Fine, lets do it.
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Chandler: It's exactly like it sounds.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
Joey: Okay, can I-can I make it up to you? Huh? Im sorry. (They hug.) How about uh, dinner tomorrow night?! Ill pay for myself!
Rachel: We dont want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle.
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
(He tries to put it on her finger.)
Emily: It was.
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody its uh its mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
RACH: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
Chandler: �Pudo aver sido General Tso! (It could've been General Sal!)
(Its Rachels turn to open the door.)
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Ginger: Oh, dont worry about it.
Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!
Ross: We, we just decided to uh, to go for it.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Chandler: Its not something to be proud of, okay? You have to go to a sleep clinic!
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.
Ross: Yeah, all right, its a date. (He leaves)
Monica: Oh my God! Ohh! Look at this one! Its so beautiful!
Chandler: Then, I don't get it.
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Emily: (checks the clock) Ohh, its time to go.