words in movies
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Joey: How is it you?
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Carol: He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Phoebe: It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Phoebe: Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Chandler: It doesn't scare me!
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Phoebe: Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Phoebe: Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.
Janice: Who's party is it?
Joey: I didn't get it?
Rachel: Yeah, it is.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Monica: Oh, why is it unfair?
Rachel: Well, I-I could live without it.
MONICA: Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Phoebe: There it is!
Monica: Okay, the realtor said another couple made an offer. Maybe the Janice's won't get it! Maybe the other couple will.
Joey: So that's it? It's over? Just like that?
Mrs. Geller: Well it was Chandler! We didnt think hed ever propose!
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Monica: -but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Chandler: You got it.
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Pass it! Pass it!
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Chandler: Guys! Guys! Come on! Its Thanksgiving, its not important who wins or loses. The important thing is, (to Joey) the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Good night!!
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Phoebe: So, now, Rach, this is a traditional English trifle, isnt it?
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) Its exactly how Id imagined it would be.
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Ross: It was my first time.
Ross: Well l-look okay, its probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Joey: Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and Im not him.
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Chandler: That's it?
Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Rachel: Does it still hurt?
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
Rachel: What is it?
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Joey: I couldn't do it.
All: Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Phoebe: That oughta do it.
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Chandler: Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesnt get it.) Santa Clauss pants.
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Joey: Are you going to do it?
Ross: I'm going to do it.
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Rachel: Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work?
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.