words in movies
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
The Porsche Owner: But its my car!
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Rachel: Yeah, dont push it though.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Roger: That's pretty much it.
Ross: No, no, really, Ive got to take the car back anyway, Im spending all day tomorrow with Ben, Its fine, no guilt I promise.
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in!
Roger: But you tell it really well, sweetie.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Rachel: Oh, you've got Carol tomorrow.. When did it get so complicated?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.]
Rachel: I thought it was Chandler!
Chandler: Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.
Monica: How's it going?
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Phoebe: Doing it on this table. (points at the table)
Monica: How's it going?
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Ross: I love it, when we share.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Chandler: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Ross: Nope, nope, that's it.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much of a difference...
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
CHANDLER: But we had one of the greatest talks we ever had last night. I mean it was, it was like when we first started living together.
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Chandler: (surprised) It is?
Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Carol: That could be it.
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: (exasperated) Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
All: What is it?
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Phoebe: So was it a lot more money?
Rachel: Y'know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic gesture...
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
(Phone rings. Monica answers it.)
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
Phoebe: What... I could, I could do it. What is it?
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Joey: Say it... say it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
RACH: Closure, that's what it is. Closure. [she looks around the restaurant, spotting a guy with a cellular phone] Hello, excuse me. Excuse me, hel. . . woo [she almost falls out of her chair]
Phoebe: Ohh! I have! I have! I started making these little sock bunnies! (She takes out a sock thats been made into a bunny with eyes, nose, mouth, whiskers, and two other socks sown onto it for ears.) Oh for crying out loud!
Monica: I know... it's just... I thought this was, you know... it.
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Jamie: Hi, its us.
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Ross: Oh.. you don't get it! (Passes out and slumps across her)
Rachel: ...if you tell me, I might do it.
Monica: Ill get it.
Rachel: Well try to keep it down.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Phoebe: Alright, well, maybe now its not okay.
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!