words in movies
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
The Porsche Owner: But its my car!
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Rachel: Yeah, dont push it though.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: I knew it!
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Monica: Ill take care of it.
Rachel: How did it go?
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Rachel: No its not!
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Rachel: Will you stop calling it your apartment!
Monica: What is it?!
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Guru Saj: Oh sure, we should see resultsWhoa!! Clearly not the way to go!! (quickly wipes it off)
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Rachel: Ohhhhhh, look its the roller blades.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
Rachel: Oh-oh, sorry, its this way, its this way. (Motions to the correct way.)
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Chandler: Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken.
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Guru Saj: Well its gone.
Rachel: I dont even know how I would go about it.
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Chandler: ...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Joey: Howd it go?
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Phoebe: (laughs harder) You make it so funny.
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Joey: (examining it) Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. (Monica drops the sandwich)
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Rachel: Sure. You got it. Great!
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Rachel: Really? It doesnt seem desperate?
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard!
Joey: Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
Monica: Its only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time.
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
Phoebe: (gasps) White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
Chandler: It just doesnt feel like were breaking up.
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
MONICA: How can I not do it? I have $127 in the bank.
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
CHANDLER: Well, it's sharp, it's metal, I think I can do some, you know, serious damage with it.
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Joey: No-no, its uh, its Heston.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.