words in movies
Phoebe: (overdoing it) Oh my God!!
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Woman: I bet its fast.
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
The Porsche Owner: But its my car!
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. Its really poking me.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Phoebe: Im pretty sure its gun.
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Rachel: Yeah, dont push it though.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Chandler: Yeah, but I bet it works.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Joey: And there it is.
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Phoebe: (doing the same) I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
Chandler: But I do know that its some time tomorrow.
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Chandler: Nope! Because Im not your boyfriend. (to Phoebe, whos entering) Hey Pheebs, how did it go?
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good.
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Ross: All right, bad ankle, got it!
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Rachel: Good! Cause Ive got a product report to read, its like eight pages, I hope I dont fall asleep.
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Ross: Good! Me neither! So its not a problem. Were just two friends who happen to be roommates.
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Monica: Oh, yknow what, I cant, it really kills.
Monica: What is it hon?
Phoebe: See? Im doing it. I am totally doing it. (Suddenly it stops working.) I lost it.
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Rachel: Well, it was all Rosss idea.
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Monica: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Rachel: Its not Christmas!
Rachel: Its okay! Its okay! It kicked once, itll kick again!
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Chandler: Oh yeah, its beautiful country up there.
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Phoebe: Fine! Fine! (slams the phone down, breaking it) Oh-oh!
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Rachel: Give it here. (She takes the table.) Oh, God. (And gives it to Monica right away.)
Monica: Well at least, Im going to mute it.
Ross: (Thinks about it.) Nah.
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
The Doctor: Thats it.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Robin: Why is this happening to me?! I dont know, maybe its my wound.
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Hoshi: Its just hard when I know I have e-mail I cant get!
Rachel: Whats that song? It has been in my head all day long.
Monica: It is not over! Youre over!