words in movies
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Chandler: See, you think it's just a pen, but then you turn it over and it's also a clock.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Monica: Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it?
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
Joey: What-what is it, what is it?
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Rachel: Or Carol! But theyre funny to kids and who is it hurting?!
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. (Smells it.) Yep.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Monica: I can't belive it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Monica: I got it!!
Allesandro: Hey! Im proud of that sauce, its delicious.
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Chandler: Oopsey, missed it!
Pete: Y'know what, dont be. This is not, dont be, cause its not so bad.
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Rachel: Ohh please don't be from a real dinosaur! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! (She picks up the 2 pieces and looks at the stand.) Made in Mexico! Yes!! Ugh, who would buy this?! (Looks for a place to hide it and finds a wall sconce and drops the pieces into it and heads into the kitchen as the phone rings.)
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Rachel: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but y'know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I'd just love not to talk about it. All right?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
[Scene: The Telethon, Joey's phone rings and he answers it.]
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Chandler: Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Chandler: All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, its over.
(The door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Ursula: Who is it?
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
ROSS: No, no way. You've got it totally the other way around my friend. John Voit was...
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Chandler: It was my racquet.
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Frank Sr.: Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's (opens it) oh it'sew used. Umm, cool.
Frank Sr.: It really says that?!
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
Rachel: (on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, its Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, dont you apologize. (listens) Yeah, Ill hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Chandler: I know its tough now, but things will get better.
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Rachel: All right, well the place was closed. Ill just copy it later.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: (catching it) I got it! Mine! (They both hug)
Joey: Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Rachel: Uh-huh, doing it. Doing it. Phone doing it.
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)
Chip: No, I think its cute. (kisses her)
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Joey: Yeah! But if wouldve know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldnt have worried about it so much! See you around!
Ross: Okay. Okay. I mean Ill be okay. Its just I dont think I handled it very well.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Hey Chandler, wanna do it with me?
Chandler: Sure, I'll do it with ya.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!