words in movies
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Chandler: See, you think it's just a pen, but then you turn it over and it's also a clock.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Monica: Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it?
Rachel: Seriously stop it, or I'm gonna jump on ya.
Phoebe: Well, just... let's try it again.
Joey: Got it.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Phoebe: It does, really?
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Phoebe: All right, let just try it again. Really listen.
Phoebe: Oh I got it!! (catches the ball) Oh! Ew! Broken boob! Ow!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Ross: Right, is it painful?
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Ross: Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?
JOEY: What happens if you flick it?
Rachel: Wait, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Rachel: Oh, d'you like it?
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I think you should go, by yourself, get some distance, clear your head, I think itd be really good.
Ross: (knew this was coming) There it is... (he comes back)
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
Director: It was great.
Rachel: No matter how much we want it.
Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday...
Ross: Damn it. It's never off the table. (he leaves the apartment)
Ross: Even if we want it really bad.
Phoebe: It's off the resumé. (she strikes it through with a pencil)
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew youd get it on the first guess. Isnt it cool! Its an apothecary table.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Chandler: Damn it.
Chandler: Oh God! What was it? The thing that we hardly ever do or the thing we never do?
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up my bachelor pad for some basketball seats!
Clerk: It can be anything you want.
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Ross: All right, we'll work it out.
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Rachel: (walking towards Joey) Joey, it would mean so...
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Chandler: Well, it makes me feel sad, but...
Phoebe: Lets go! Come on! Move it! (Grabs her coat.) Come on! (To an old man whos holding her shoes and briefcase.) Shoes! Briefcase! (Takes them both.) Thanks Lou, good luck with the gall bladder. (She leaves.)
Ross: Anyway seriously, uh just just talk to the guy, okay? And tell me how it goes. (walks towards the door until )
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Ross: You let Rachel come back, and it’s done.
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Monica: Love it!
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Chandler: Jeez, man did you fall..(sees its a beautiful woman coming out of the mens room) Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high?
r Zelner: Who is it?
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Mr Zelner: Okay, you got it.
Ross: Oh, (grins) Believe me, the ladies, they love it!
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?