words in movies
Phoebe: Oo! Is it for my birthday present?
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: Yes, it is, at Office Max.
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
Monica: Oh, it was great! The widow wouldn't pay, so Phoebe yelled at her 'til she did.
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
Chandler: Hey, how'd it go? How'd she like the gift?
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Chandler: No he didn't. [Moving it back.]
Chandler: See, you think it's just a pen, but then you turn it over and it's also a clock.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Monica: Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it?
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Amy: Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it)
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Phoebe: Eeeee-(She opens the box and removes its contents and sees that it's a fur coat.)-ohh!! God! (She throws it at Joey.)
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Monica: (as Rachel) (Suddenly laughing) Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it!
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Carol: Umm, yeah, actually, Susans gonna be home any minute, its kinda an anniversary.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Joey: (taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
(Ross thinks it over, finally sits down and picks up his cards.)
Monica: Rachel, there's nothing in it.
Ross: I bet two dollars. (throws it in)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Ross: Its not a club.
Monica: What is it?
Ross: Well why not?! Shell-shell love it! Its the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn.
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Ross: I see your twenty, raise you twenty-five. (throws it in)
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Chandler: Im full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, Ill regret it.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Rachel: Yeah fun? Great! So uh, so did you guys hit it off?
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
CHANDLER: Where did you hear it from before?
Chandler: Well, Ross and Emily arent gonna use it.
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
Ross: Oh myCome here! Come here! (He hugs her.) Its okay. Everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.
(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.
Chandler: So how's it going there in Financial Services?
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Monica: What is it?
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
Ross: Oh, forget it, okay?
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
The Doctor: (opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and(Stops suddenly.)
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Monica: Im sick of the signs! Its too fast, Im happy the way things are!
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Ross: Alright, I panicked, alright? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
Chandler: The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!
Ross: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)
Ross: Well look-look Im not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Monica: How'd it go?
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Monica: Yeah, it takes two incomes.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Barry: Nooo, it wasn't.
Chandler: (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?