words in movies
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Chandler: Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles.
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Kathy: (interrupting) Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: and then it got canceled.
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Yeah, it mustve fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog.
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means were unhappy forever. Sound good?
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Chandler: Yeah, she seemed cool, attractive. Ill do it.
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.
Phoebe: It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.
Monica: (answering it) Who is it?
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Phoebe: Oh, its incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Allesandro: Its Allesandro, from Allesandros.
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Ross: Its not like we dont know how to party!!
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Monica: That's what it says here. Flight 421, leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.
Ross: Wh-why?! Why-why-why would it, why would it be weird?
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
Phoebe: Well, it seems like there weren't any tears 'til you showed her the bill.
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
Monica: (entering) Okay, its ready. Come on.
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey enters carrying a tub of ice cream. He sets it on the table, takes off his jacket and struggles with the drawer. It cannot be opened.]
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Joey: Sure I can, standard shotgun rules, Im sight of the room and I called it.
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
[Scene: A hallway in an apartment building. Phoebe is knocks on a door and it opens.]
CHANDLER: Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
CHANDLER: I did pay for half of it.
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Chandler: Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
The Waiter: No, its really good.
[Scene: The train, its pulling into a station.]
Ross: No, no, thats funny. But maybe its time to move on, let it go, yknow? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeths father, so ah, hes much older than she is. Looks like Im not the only one interested in fossils, huh?
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Chandler: Hes not gonna make it, hes stuck in Chicago.
Monica: We just want you to think it through.
Chandler: Because its flattering! (Shivers harder) Come on Monica! Come on Monica! (He goes inside.)
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
Monica: No, you messed it up. Youre stupid.
Monica: Then what is it?
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, its right after she told Phoebe that shes her birth mother.]
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Chandler: All right, how about we, how bout we sell it.
David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Tour Guide: Thats just the way it is.
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Monica: (to Chandler) So, did you do it?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Monica: Well, it was the first time. Yknow, theres not always a lot of agreement the first time.
Monica: Uh-oh, it was bad?
Joey: No-hey-no! If you dont want me to do it, I except that. I dont care about that. I just I dont want you to be upset.
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Chandler: Well believe it baby!
Rachel: No, it was a stupid bet! We were just playing a game!
Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7!
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Chandler: I knew it!
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Monica: Ill take care of it.
Rachel: How did it go?
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Rachel: Well it stupid, unfair question!
Rachel: No its not!
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Rachel: Will you stop calling it your apartment!
Monica: What is it?!
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Knicks season opener tonight. I thought maybe you guys would come over and watch it.
Chandler: What?! What-what is it?!
Guru Saj: Oh sure, we should see resultsWhoa!! Clearly not the way to go!! (quickly wipes it off)
Chandler: Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense!
Ross: No! No! It would be weird if we were still in that place, I mean are you still in that place?
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?