words in movies
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Chandler: Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles.
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Kathy: (interrupting) Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: and then it got canceled.
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Yeah, it mustve fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog.
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means were unhappy forever. Sound good?
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Ross: It was my first time.
Ross: Well l-look okay, its probably just a mistake. Let me call Aunt Sheryl okay? Maybe you are invited and the invitation just got lost in the mail.
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
Kid: No! No! (They start to fight over it.)
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Phoebe: Oh, thats it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Joey: Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and Im not him.
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Chandler: That's it?
Phoebe: Yeah, it was really hard.
Phoebe: Yknow it doesnt matter how much Im craving it. Yknow why Im never gonna eat meat? Because its murder, cold blooded murder.
Rachel: But I saved it. I put my basket on top.
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
Rachel: Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it’s just a little weird, it’s you, and it’s me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)
Rachel: Does it still hurt?
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
Rachel: What is it?
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Joey: I couldn't do it.
All: Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Phoebe: That oughta do it.
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Phoebe Sr: I really dont think its a very good idea, Phoebe.
Chandler: Santa pants. (Phoebe still doesnt get it.) Santa Clauss pants.
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Joey: Are you going to do it?
Ross: I'm going to do it.
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
Rachel: Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work?
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Monica: If you want, I'll do it.
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Jill: No, you've got to whip it.
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
(Phone rings; Monica gets it)
Chandler: WHAT IS IT?!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Chandler: So, uh... what do you think it is about me?
Monica: He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Monica: It was a really beautiful service.
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.
Ross: What, what is it?
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Chandler: Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir.