words in movies
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Ross: Yeah, just a little in high school, but then I really got into it in college. I mean thats-thats when I really found my sound.
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
Ross: Here we go. (Plays one note) Yknow, Ive-Ive never played my stuff for anyone before, so its important that-that you understand its about communicating very private emotions. (Plays another note) Yknow, umm, you should-you should think of umm, my work as wordless sound poems. Thats what Im
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Phoebe: Wow, it was sowow!
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Chandler: Uh yes, but uh, I just watch it for the articles.
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Chandler: So I guess its just uh, you and me then.
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Kathy: (interrupting) Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: and then it got canceled.
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Joey: Yeah, it mustve fallen out a few blocks back. I just figured we hit a dog.
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Chandler: No-no-no-no, this is bad! Its bad! This is bad!
Chandler: Ooh! Yes! Okay! Heres what we do, we-we forget it happened.
Chandler: Okay, we-we swallow our feelings. Even if it means were unhappy forever. Sound good?
Phoebe: (pushing Monica back onto the couch) Its so inspired! Look at him! Look at him go!
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes lost it. Hes totally lost it.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
Monica: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Chandler: Its gotta be the first one.
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Dont! You cant just kiss me and think youre gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesnt work that way. It doesnt just make it better. Okay?
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Ross: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?
CHANDLER: So how'd it go?
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Phoebe: Well, I think I broke it. But thats all right, heres the number you can call.
Ross: Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Chandler: Its just so glamorous.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Mr. Treeger: Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And Im sad. (Exits.)
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Chandler: (closing the box) Yknow what? Forget it! We are just hungry! We have not had lunch! We are just light-headed! So let us go out and have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
(Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Barry: Well, if you want, I'll justI'll just break it off with her.
Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
Joey: Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but its just Ive never even been nominated before! I want it so much.
MONICA: Ok, it is definitely less than a ballpark.
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Joey: Forget about it. Its no big deal.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Monica: Don't get too attached, she's having it cremated.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Chandler: You got it. (Starts looking at the pad, while Ross got the turkey out of the fridge and starts to unwrap and it) You got Nevada twice.
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
[Scene: Central Perk, its the same scene from the end of last weeks show. Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch as Ross enters.]
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
Monica: Don't say it. (closes Ethan's mouth with her hand)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Monica: No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
(Rachel does so and its one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see )
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
Phoebe: Well, you're not, (she tries to smile and contain her anger, but loses it) You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it off his hand and throws it behind the night-stand.)
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.