words in movies
RACH: It was unbelievable!
RACH: Oh, it ended very well.
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
RACH: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
ROSS: [impatient] Play it.
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
[She tastes it, and obviously hates it.]
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
MNCA: Just waiting for it to stop bubbling.
PHOE: What makes it pilgrim?
MNCA: We'll put buckles on it.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
[Rachel runs to the sink to spit it out.]
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
ROSS: Yes, it was horrible. She cried. I cried. She threw things, they hit me. Anyway, I did the right thing.
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: And I'm in it? Then let me read it.
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
CHAN: [through gritted teeth] Alright. [clears his throat] "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
RTST: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Monica: Would it really have been that easy?
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Janine: I just got a call to be a dancer on a television special for New Years Eve. Its called some sort of Dickn Rockn Dickie Eve.
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Chandler: I want to. I love her so much, but Im afr Its too huge.
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Phoebe: Then change it back!
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Chandler: Its my joke.
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
(The guys takes a hockey stick and slips it through the handles then proceeds to take the stereo and Chandlers computer and walk out.)
(Ross tries to dismiss it by making that sound, but decides to go for it and follows Rachel.)
Rachel: But Pheebs, yknow you earned it.
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
(Rachel sits on the window seat, and knocks against it)
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Chandler: What is it doing here?
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Rachel: All right thats it! I am maid of honor!
Ross: (to Phoebe) It hurts my teeth.
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, its sowed on though.
Rachel: Because, uhit has to.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
Joey: I did it anyway.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
The Interviewer: So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: Stop it. Stop! Okay let's go. We can be strong.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
Rachel: Pat the dog. Oh! Oh! I get it!! (Laughs and finishes her drink.)
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Monica: Did the girl ever let you ride it?
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Chandler: Wouldnt it be easier if we just moved?
(The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. Its a twins study.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Phoebe: I love it!!
Ross: You like it?
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Rachel: (sympathetic) Oh. (Starts rubbing his wrist with her fingers.) Its gotta be rough.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, its uh, its like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Monica: Umm, can we see you ride it?
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Monica: Okay, stop it Phoebe, youre getting me all tingly.
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)
Monica: But they like it!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Phoebe: (thinks it over) Okay.
Ross: I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe!
Tag: Got it!
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
Monica: Well, lets just say its not the first time youve stolen my thunder.
Chandler: All right, yknow what? Forget it, all of you forget it! Youve ruined it! Go home! Youve ruined it! Youve ruined it!
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Chandler: Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: How did it go?
Monica: You've got to be smooth about it.
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...