words in movies
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: What?
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Janice: Ow!
Janice: Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Janice?!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Janice: He does?
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Janice: Why not?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Janice: Why?
Janice: Chandler?
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: Oh well, Im divorced.
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Janice: Chandler Bing!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Janice: What?!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Janice: Uh-oh, I feel another one coming. (She makes a sound like a goose during the contraction.)
Janices Voice: (singing) My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine! You make me high over my heart!
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
(Janice does her "Janice Laugh")
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Janice: Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)
Monica: No, actually, we're buying the house next door. (Janice gasps)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Janice: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Janice: Oh... my...
Janice: Huh?
Janice: Oh, me too... (laughs)
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
Janice: Please... go! (Then shouts after him) Just let me know if you need a hand!