words in movies
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: What?
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Janice: Ow!
Janice: Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Chandler: (to Janice) Dont look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!
Janice: Oh, Im sorry honey, Im so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! Im so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I cant breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
Janice: Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what youre doing. Just raising her all alone.
Janice: Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'
Janice: So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me.
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Janice: No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-Ive got to give my marriage another chance.
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Chandler: (answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?
Janice: (Startles them) There you are! Haaah, you got away from me!
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
(Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.)
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.]
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Monica: Yeah, but Janice? That-that was like the worst breakup in history!
Chandler: You remember Janice.
Janice: Oh, no. Oh, no.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Janice: Hi, Monica.
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Just us.
Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi!
(Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.}
Janice: Kiss me!
Janice: Each.
(Janice enters.)
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Chandler: Hi, Just Janice.
Janice: Hello, funny Valentine.
Janice: That's fine.
Janice: I brought you something.
Janice: I had them made special.
Janice: Happy Valentine's Day!
Janice: Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
Janice: Barley? What kind of party serves barley?
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.]
Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now.
Chandler: The ball is Janice. The ball is Janice. (goes to kick the ball but kicks Rosss foot instead.)
ROSS: We'll give you Janice.
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Janice are sitting on the couch, and Phoebe is sitting next to them in the chair.]
JANICE: Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
ROSS: You remember Janice, right?
PHOEBE: Janice? You called Janice?
JANICE: Hey, it's everybody.
JANICE: Yes, I am.
JANICE: Oh, my, god.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
JANICE: Helloo!!
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
PHOEBE: I miss Janice though. "Hello, Chandler Bing."
Chandler: (in a British accent) Hello, Janice.
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
Janice: (laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
CHANDLER: Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
JANICE: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Janice likes to have her fun.
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
Chandler: No, Janice.
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Joey: This is Janice.
Janice: I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.
JANICE: OH.....MY.....GAWD!! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Janice: For Chandler!
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Janice: We should?
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Janice: You probably want us to move in together?
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Chandler: Janice I didnt even know you were pregnant! Whos the unwitting human whos essence youve stolen?
Janice: What are you doing here?