words in movies
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Janice: What?
Janice: I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)
Janice: Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky,or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.
Janice: (holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Janice: Ow!
Janice: Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.
(Janice returns from the bathroom.)
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Rachel: Ross! Janice?!
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Janice: What is wrong now?!
Janice: Yes! Yes! You did!
Janice: Okay.
Janice: Well yeah!!
Janice: Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Janice: Yeah, Im riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Janice are sitting on the couch.]
Janice: We're baack!
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Janice: Oh.... my.... God.
Janice: Whats the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Janice: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Janice?!
Chandler: Janice?
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn. Janice, Janice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it. See ya.
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Janice: So, whos the lucky guy?
Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what?
Janice: Chandler?
Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom)
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
Janice: Why not?
Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice arent they?
Janice: Why?
Janice: He does?
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
The Colonel: OH MY GAWD!!!! (Yep, its Janice.)
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Janice: Oh well, Im divorced.
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Janice:Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Janice: Why?!!
Janice: What?!
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Sid: (To Janice) Whatd he say?
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Janice: Oh. Well then shut me up. (Does the laugh.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Janice: Chandler Bing!
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Ross: (entering) Hey Janice!
Janice: Oh hi!
Janice: Bye. (Exits.)
Janice: Im gonna leave the three of you alone.
Ross: Not just Janice, Janice in labor, contracting and everything.
(Ross and Rachel are, needless to say, stunned at the arrival of Janice.)
Janice: So? Congratulations you two, I didnt even know you got married.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? Its been three hours.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
(Janice does her "Janice Laugh")
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Janice: OH MY GOD!!
Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues?
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.