words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
[Joey enters]
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: ...I d'know.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Oh, I know...
Joey: Look, we are not gonna
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Joey: Yeah!
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Great! All right, so Ill call you later.
Joey: Yeah. Why are you getting so upset?
Joey: Whos Elaine?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Joey: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
Joey: Okay.
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Joey: Why?
Joey: Well, youre amazing.
Joey: No. No, Kathy.
Joey: No-no, Kathy.
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Phoebe: Does Joey know?
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Joey: You do?
Joey: Whats up?
Joey: Yeah, she broke up with me.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Joey: Who?
Joey: What?
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Joey: All right!
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Joey: Everyday use.
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Joey: Guest.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Five years.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?