words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh?
Joey: (nods) So, why are you still wearing it?
[Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.]
Joey: (still very emotional) Lucky bastard!
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Who's that dirty old lady?
Joey: Chandler, wait, wait, wait...
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Joey: Yeah. All right, now give me your best shot.
Joey: A little more.
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: He's planning your birthday party.
Joey: Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Joey: I bet you did!
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Ross, wait!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Joey: Damn it!
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: Good luck, good luck!
Joey: This is so cool!
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Joey: Oh!
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
Joey: Alright.
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that?
Joey: We gotta get them out of there!
Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave.
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little.
Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball!
Joey: Oh God! So what do we do?
Joey: It did not.
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Joey: Okay. Here goes.
Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica)
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there.
Joey: Okay, here we go. I can't do it.
Joey: Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but its just Ive never even been nominated before! I want it so much.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah.
Joey: I could get a goose!
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I love you!
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
Joey: Has it always been purple?
Joey: Yeah. I guess so.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
Joey: Oh wow thats a great idea! And I still have his credit card.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Joey: (Holding a turkey leg) Theres gravy?