words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Joey: Because she is!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
Joey: Hey uh, where do you guys want this?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?
[Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter]
Joey: Hey, don’t get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: Well, so, stay for the museums!
Joey: It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Enter Joey]
Joey: Make the transfer! (She does so)
Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: Joey, come on!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
Joey: Original or crappy?
Joey: Really? She... she loves me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]
Joey: ... she's being unreasonable!
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Joey: It does?
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Uh!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Joey: I like those odds!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.
Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Joey: I did?
Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was?
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
Joey: Ooh! Tough odds!
Joey: (Still excited)By you!?
JOEY: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
Joey: (excited)Did you get it?
Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Joey: Can't really say!
Joey: I won, hey!
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
Joey: (in pain) Oh!
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Joey: And what did she say?
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything?