words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Bastard!
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Joey: Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
Joey: I dont know, maybe we werent ready to have a chick.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Joey: Sure!
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Why not?
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
(Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey)
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Joey: Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car?
Joey: I could use a challenge! Its getting pretty easy.
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: Yeah baby!
Joey: Thank you! So, did-did he get it?
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey tries to take the guitar.) Oh no-no-no, you don't touch the guitar! First you learn here, (Points to her head.) then you learn here. (Points to the guitar.)
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Ahhh.
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Joey: And thats every month?
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Joey: Yeah baby!
Joey: Hey!
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are carrying in the foosball table.]