words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, yeah, with that-that uh, plumber girl
Joey: Uhh, thats not them. Im gonna go call the police.
Joey: Ooh!
Joey: It's not my first time.
JOEY: Well knock it off, you're supposed to be my friend.
Joey: Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right?
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Joey: Dude!
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
(Joey suddenly gets very angry.)
Joey: All right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
(Joey successfully enters the entertainment center, and Chandler closes the door on Joey.)
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
Joey: Okay! Here we go. Pillow.
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Joey: Very good! Okay. G.
Joey: So, are you ready to go?
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Oh sure, right back there. (Points.)
(Joey goes to the door, but stops and looks through the window at Janice and the Mattress King, her ex-husband, kissing.)
Joey: (shyly) She keeps punching me.
Joey: No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Chandler: Arghhhhhh!! (Joey turns around to taunt him, but Chandler is in the doorway and Joey is facing the kitchen.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is sitting on the couch with Katie.]
Joey: (To Chandler) I didn't finish my five pages.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: No-no.
Joey: Uh-oh, shht! The Misses.
Joey: Yeah, big!
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Katie: Oww!!!! Joey, she just kicked me.
Joey: Uhh .
Joey: Nah.
Joey: Hey! Hiya!
Joey: Huh.
Joey: (from the bedroom) I can hear that!
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . .
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Joey: (to her) Oh, hey Katie! Everyone, this is Katie.
Joey: What a bad idea!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are opening their invitations.]
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
(She looks at Rachel and storms out. After she's left Joey hugs Rachel in thanks.)
Joey: She's right y'know.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, you have a date?
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Joey: What are you guys doing up?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: That's not funny at all!
Joey: (thinks) Dark red.
Joey: All right, I'll see you in the morning.
Joey: Correct! Which monarch has ruled Great Britain the longest?
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Dream Joey: Cat.
Rachel: Hey Joey!
Joey: Hey, I see you guys already met, huh?
Joey: (To Monica) Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt?
Joey: (entering) Hey, you guys!
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
Joey: No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) Hey.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey! (Sees that Monica's there.) Oh.
Joey: Nothing!
Joey: (backing away) What?! Why?!
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Joey: It-it doesnt?
Joey: (looks at her) Not really.
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Joey: That kinda sounds like your dream dude.
Chandler: Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
Joey: Friends first? That's interesting.
Rachel: (noticing him) What's up Joey?
Joey: No, never done that either.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Joey: Mine! (He grabs it.)
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Ross: Oh great! What, you brought Joey?
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Ross: Every week, the TV Guide comes to Chandler and Joeys apartment. What name appears on the address label?
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Dream Joey: I love you too.
Joey: Uhh, well, she's really good in bed.