words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel enter the room]
Joey: What’s the matter?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey and Rachel: Okay
(Joey and Rachel start kissing)
Chandler: Because thats where Joey gave me some stuff to store that Ive never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen! (He does a weird clicky motion with his fingers, that kinda hard to describe.)
Joey: Ok.
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
Joey: I don’t get it, Chandler loved it!
Joey: ...No... (he just can't seem to grasp it)
Joey: This thing welded shut?!
Joey: I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine.
Rachel and Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ok, yeah, got it.
Joey: Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier?
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Chandler: All right!! (Gets out and Joey speeds away.) Wait! Wait, there's no sidewalk! Yeah, I'm gonna die here.
Joey: Sorry!
Joey: Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping!
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Joey: (a little giddy) Uh, was that good for you?
Chandler: How was your date with Joey?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
(Joey walks in)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Joey: Yes ma'am, ready to Power through!
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey!
Joey: Oh! yeah!
Joey: uh uh!
[Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados]
Joey: Ok, you're scaring me a little bit.
Joey: Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Joey: I don't know.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's]
Joey: Well, I know what's the matter with me.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Joey: Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it.
Rachel: I know. Joey: I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted.
Joey: So...
Joey: Yeah, me too.
Joey: I love ya.
Joey: And youll be topless?
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Ross: Ah, and where is Joey?
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Joey: Hey!
(Joey comes out from his room, yawning)
Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party.
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Joey: Um, my present!
Joey: But equally real!
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Rachel: So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: You do attract some stinkers.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Joey: I'm so confused!
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country.
Joey: No.
Joey: Nighty-night!
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Joey: Bye, bye.
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Joey: Ok! (Opens the door for them)
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
(The phone rings, Joey picks up)
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Joey: Hey! (smiles)
Estelle: (on the other side of the line) Joey! It's Estelle!
Joey: (smile fades) What audition?
Joey: Right.
Joey: Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! (they do so)
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun!
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times??
Joey: Come on robot!
Joey: Way to go robot!
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)