words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Ross: Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere?
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Joey: No idea what it means.
Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)
Ross: You know where Joey is?
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: Is he gone?
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross.
Joey: Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off...
Joey: I'm thinking about you...
Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you.
Joey: What's wrong?
Joey: Let's forget about Ross...
Joey: Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross...
Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey?
Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.
Joey: Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?
Joey: I understand...
Joey: I mean what kind of an actor, what kind of an actor cant even say, "Hmm, noodle soup?"
Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)
Joey: Great! Im finally getting into this sailing stuff.
Joey: Theres one lucky to-go cup of coffee.
Joey: Ooh...
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: I guess so. I'm just... really nervous.
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Joey: Yeah... Now I have something...
Joey: You kissed.
Joey: I saw you.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh... uh... look... before you...
Joey: I am those things, yeah.
Joey: I can't think of anything.
Rachel: So you eh, you talked to Joey?
Joey: Dude!
Joey: Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Joey: Im a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
Joey: Argh-argh!! (Catches the coat.) Ooh, soft. Is this mink?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.]
Joey: Stop saying good night.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Joey: Rach, he just saw us.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey: Probably.
Joey: Ross?
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: No, no, no!
Joey: No, no!
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Ross..
Joey: I do like fajitas.
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
Joey: Oh. Oh, thanks.
Joey: Hey, Charlie!
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Joey: Uh, actually, that's..
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Morning. Here you go.
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.