words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
Joey: Later! (Exits.)
Joey: That was good beer.
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Joey: (surprised its Lauren) (hugs her) (whispering) Wheres Kate?
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: Hey, Ross, Bodington's!
Joey: Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic.
(Joey is intrigued.)
Joey: Okay, can I-can I make it up to you? Huh? Im sorry. (They hug.) How about uh, dinner tomorrow night?! Ill pay for myself!
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Monica: Joey, I'm in!
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Joey: Uh, okay, Pheebs?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)
Joey: Yeah, all of us! All day!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Joey: Phoebe!
Joey: Mine!
Joey: Which, is the new plan!
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
Joey: Ooh, something hurts!
Joey: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Joey: Oh my!
Joey: Not in my head.
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Joey: Yeah, I was bummed too.
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Joey: Or?
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
(Joey starts breathing hard)
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Joey: Argh!
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: Oh my God.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Joey: But I'm the host!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.