words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Joey: Instead of...?
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Ohh.
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Who's Paul?
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: Which goes where?
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: You got screwed.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Shut up!
Joey: What are you talking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler)
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: (rushing in) Oh my God! What happened here? Did you do all this?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Monica!
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldnt let you have one?
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Joey: Oh my God! Youre pregnant!
Monica: Joey, we have something to tell you.
Joey: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. (Holds up his hand.) See?
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Joey: (smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)
JOEY: Hey Phoeb's, I think you're good to go.
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Phoebe: Hey! You could do a lot worse than Joey Tribbiani!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Joey: (Poking his head out.) Havin' some trouble?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: Really?! Well, when?
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Joey: Great!
Joey: Wow.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
Joey: Oh-oh, what about Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are sitting and talking.]
Estelle: Joey, sweetheart, you were fabulous!
Joey: Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one.
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Joey: At least I care about his feelings!
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: Yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Joey: Let me see that!
Joey: Hey! Any good mail?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Bastard!
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Joey: Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!