words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: I guess.
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
Ross: Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. Ill guess just Ill come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: Dear Lord.
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
(Joey enters.)
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Joey: I can come back.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: No.
Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Ahhh!
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt I didnt propose!
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.}
Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Joey: Yknow what you guys? Im uh, Im gonna go too. And uh, Im sorry about everything.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Ross: When you thought Joey proposed did did you say yes?
Joey: (to Lauren) In a minute!!
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.
Joey: Wow! This girl is good.
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: No-no, not for like another two weeks.
Joey: Okay, the last thing
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Joey: Yeah, right.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Okay. Uhh, tortilla chips, yogurt.
Joey: Well what is it?!
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Joey: Sure.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Yep. Ice Capades.
Joey: Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince.
Joey: Oh sure, go with the sissy.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Joey: Anyone mind if I save this?
Joey: Hi, how ya doing?
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Joey: Serious?
JOEY: No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
Joey: No! All right, who-who makes up the questions?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
JOEY: Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Joey: Tell us!
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
Joey: All right, well start with apples.
Joey: Yeah. What are we getting?
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Joey: Dont you think I asked him that before he got in?!
Joey: Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Joey: No-o-o!!
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Joey: That youre actually 50?
Joey: Well, I think we all learned something.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Joey: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Joey: Hey, Bonnie had sex there!
Joey: No, its just my luggage.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully)
Joey: Hey-hey, check out the hat!
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Joey: What?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joey: Okay, all right.
(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Joey: Fan out! Fan out!
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Joey: (jumping in triumph) OH YES!!!!!
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: Huh.
Joey: I know.
(Joey finally wakes up.)