words in movies
Joey: And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Joey: Sure.
Joey: All right.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Joey: Well, they go into the chipper.
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news!
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
Joey: What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions?
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
Joey: Not a problem.
Joey: And now for the great news.
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
Joey: (joining in, in his sleep) Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
Joey: (proudly) Oh, you should here me.
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Joey: Ohhh, yeah!
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
(Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.)
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Joey: You cant do anything!
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Joey/Drake: How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now.
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Joey: Yeah, well
Joey: look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Joey: It's Joey.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
JOEY: What are these, like famous chickens?
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Joey: Everybodys doing stuff!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Hey!
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah.
Joey: Yeah we are!
Joey: We could get that Everest video though.
Joey: No-no, its uh, its Heston.
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
Joey: It's never gonna happen.
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Yknow what goes good with that?
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
Joey: Listen also were uh, were watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over.
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Im so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see youre play. I swear youre play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. Youre play is the next play is the next play Im gonna see.
Joey: I guess I'm done.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Sorry! Sorry.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Hey!
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk?
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Joey: Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: Are you strippers?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Joey: You got it.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Joey: Yeah!
(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)