words in movies
Joey: And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Joey: Sure.
Joey: All right.
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Joey: Well, they go into the chipper.
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news!
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
Joey: What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions?
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
Joey: Not a problem.
Joey: And now for the great news.
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: (simulating an echo) Ten, ten.., nine, nine, nine...., eight, eight, eight... (Chandler hits him in the back of the head) Okay, Blast off!
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Joey: On...?
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Oh good...
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Joey: OK Thanks.(Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Joey: All right let's just do this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Joey: What, what.
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: Oh my God!
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: Comb my eyelashes.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Your eyebrows look weird.
Joey: Morning, roomie!
Joey: Ha, oh, of course.
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
Joey: Wow! So, how are you?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Wow, really?
Joey: Well, actually it...
Joey: Ooh, names?
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Why are they doing this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Joey: Glow-pop giggly jammer.
Joey: Ooh, that's a great plan!
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
Joey: All right! Who is he?
Joey: Oh my god, you're right!
Phoebe: Joey.
Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
Joey: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Joey: She even reads for pleasure!
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
Joey: Ooh...I hear that's bad.
Joey: Arghhh! Double standards!
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Phoebe and Joey are approaching.]
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear: Oh.. My sister's raccoon.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: Emma? Hey! Hi!
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since were getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
(Joey starts to leave.)
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
Joey: (BEAT) (Laughs.) You almost had me.
Joey: Hey, I gotta! Unless...
Joey: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
(Joey does the "plan-laugh.")
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
Joey: Where?
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
Joey: Hey!
Monica: Hey Joey!
Joey & Monica: Hey!
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?