words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
Joey: But, I love you.
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: So Pheebs, where are you doing all, your bell ringing?
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Joey: How could I not get the part? The play was about a 29-year-old Italian actor from Queens.
Joey: Shes a woman!
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Thanks!
Joey: Done!
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: It's not.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Joey: Hey!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Joey: (To Chandler) I didn't finish my five pages.
Joey: Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.
Joey: Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played.
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
Joey: Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Joey: Yeah, wow, sorry Rach.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick!
Joey: What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!!
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: Well, I-I mightve said supergay.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (sarcastically) Good morning.
Joey: This is Janice.
Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Wheel!
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Joey: (turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)
ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due.
Joey: Whoa!
Joey: Am I in it?
Joey: What?
Joey: But then you left.
Joey: Glass of fat?
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
Joey: How is this your seat?
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Joey: Monica, how are you gonna do that?
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish!
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: (entering) Where's my underwear?!
Joey: Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Joey: When's that?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: Je te flouppe Fli.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)
Joey: Hey, Ross, want some cider?
Joey: Let's see what else he'll do!
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Joey: Now she sounded breezy.
Joey: Hey.