words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Joey: Hey guys!
Joey: Sure.
Monica: Joey is gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show!
Monica: (stopping Joey from answering) Ohh! Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
Joey: Seriously?
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Donny: Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator.
Joey: Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points.
Joey: A spoon. Your hands. Your face!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth.
Joey: Salami, anchovies, jam!
Joey: Paper, snow, a ghost!
Joey: Chickens?
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Ketchup!
Joey: Relish!
Joey: Oh.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause). Yeah!
[Scene: At Pyramid. Joey is with the woman now.]
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
Joey: Oh, then pass. (Next word: "Joint session", but time's up, Joey acts very disappointed)
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?
Joey: (nervously) Yeah...
Gene: (irritable) Sure. (Joey gets even more nervous)
Joey: I-I-I don't know. Types of trees?
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
Joey: (sympathetic) Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words.
Joey: Things that go "tssst" when you put them out.
Gene: A torch, a bonfire... (Joey seems lost) uhm, your pee...
Joey: Things that burn.
Joey: Dude, dude! I think you're losing it.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says.
Joey: (instantly) Pizza toppings, next!
Joey: Oh, oh, oh... (5 seconds left)
Joey: Girls Chandler could never get?
Joey: Where? (looking around)
JOEY: Goo, goo, goo, waaah!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry?
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Spocks birth control.
Joey: God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, Oh, Im so talented. and Oh, Im so pretty, and Ooh, I smell so good.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Joey: Well he made Rachel cry!
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
Joey: What, what is it?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, absolutely.
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: No-no, thank you.
Chandler: Thank you, Joey.
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Joey: What?
Joey: No I didnt.
Joey: All right.
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Joey: Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight.
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Joey: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
[They all turn around and look at Joey.]
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (intrigued) Really?
Joey: Oh well, okay, good luck.
Joey: How? I guess I could break down your door.
Joey: Go get em Treeger.
Joey: No, Im good.
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fights starting!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Joey: Hey.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Joey: It's 4:30.
Joey: Yeah! You don't like Kathy.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Joey: Is she great or what?
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
[Joey enters]
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: ...I d'know.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Oh, I know...
Joey: Look, we are not gonna
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What kind of smell?