words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
Joey: You serious?
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Joey: Okay, here we go. Ready?
Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Joey: Really?!
Joey: All right.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: A four and a nine.
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin in there.
Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Won't-won't that take longer?
Joey: (in a sexy voice) How you doin'?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Joey: I dont know how to lead.
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?
Joey: Fifty-six!
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
Joey: Hey!
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Joey: (answering the question) Althea!
(Joey starts to giggle.)
Joey: Its him, not it!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
[Joey opens the door and sees Erica (Brooke Shields). Joey gets a huge smile and Chandler squeezed the dish soap in the air.]
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Joey: Well, anyway, I got to go change, Im ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks.
Chandler: Well, Joeys my best friend.
Joey: Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance.
Joey: Yeah, she's gonna live with me!
Joey: You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer!
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: All right, we have to pick captains.
Joey: "When can you move in?"
Joey: Of course I did.
Joey: Oh God, yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Joey: (happily) Okay!
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Joey: (in a bored voice) PBS telethon.
Joey: (jumps out of the box) I Gotcha!!
Joey: Heyyy. (They all try and hide their invitations.)
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: (voice cracking) Ohhhh man
Joey: (jumps up and yells)
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
(Joey pulls his hand out and reverts back to intense pain.)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little.
Joey: Oh!
Janine: Joey...
Joey: What?!?!
Joey: Oh dear God!
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Joey: Sure, neighbor come on in.
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Joey: No.
Joey: No.
Joey: Im a man.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Janine: Hey Joey.
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Joey: Were gonna climb Mt. Everest!
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Joey: I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong?!