words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Joey: (angrily) What?!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Joey, what are you doing?
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Joey: Oh youll take em!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: You went through my personal property?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldnt be supportive!
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didnt deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Joey: HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!
Joey: Dont worry, Tribbianis never get full.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: (raises his hand) Some guy!! (Points to himself.)
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
(Dramatic music plays and Joey does a little Smell-the-fart acting.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: Oh, whats wrong?
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Joey: Then why did I ask?
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.
Joey: Youre Rachel!
Rachel: Youre Joey!
Joey: Youre my friend!
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
Joey: I know!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Joey: This conversation never happened!
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Joey: Good night!
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Joey: Ooh, great! Thanks!
Joey: Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Joey: Why dont I take you out?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Joey: Ill be fun.
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? Were on a date.
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachels dinner order.]
Joey: Yknow what? Bring her both, and Ill have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
Rachel: Ohh, Lilies. Joey, theyre my favorite. Thank you.
Joey: Alright, so so tell me one of your moves.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.
Joey: (exasperated) Queens.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Well, unfortunately, I don't get many callbacks so
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Joey: Chandler?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Joey: Huh. Huh.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya