words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
[Joey enters]
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: ...I d'know.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Oh, I know...
Joey: Look, we are not gonna
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Joey: Yeah!
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Great! All right, so Ill call you later.
Joey: Yeah. Why are you getting so upset?
Joey: Whos Elaine?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Joey: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
Joey: Okay.
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Joey: Why?
Joey: Well, youre amazing.
Joey: No. No, Kathy.
Joey: No-no, Kathy.
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Phoebe: Does Joey know?
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Joey: You do?
Joey: Whats up?
Joey: Yeah, she broke up with me.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Joey: Who?
Joey: What?
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Joey: All right!
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Joey: Everyday use.
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Joey: Guest.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Five years.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?
(Joey turns around and sees them kissing.)
Joey: (Something in Italian.) (Storms out.)
Joey: My folks.