words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Joey: (rushing in) Hey! Joey Tribbiani! Im here! Im here!
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
(Sarah enters the room again, and stops when she sees her dessert is missing. Joey has emptied her plate, and has a chocolate covered mouth, just like a kid.)
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Joey: (in disbelief) Vulva?
Joey: Urse...
Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
Joey: You don't drink.
Joey: I know...
Joey: Pheebs?
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Joey: We just got the message.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: (pause)...Yeah?
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: What?
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Joey: (taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Joey: Check.
Joey: All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool.
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Joey: She really said that?
Joey: 'Tonight' tonight?
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Did you get your money back?
Joey: How could you lose him?
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
Joey: All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! (hugs him)
Angela: Hey, Joey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Oh. Then, no.
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: A monkey.
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..