words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Joey: You cuddled.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey: Oh yeah!
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Joey: Since then?!
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
Joey: Night, you guys.
Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
Joey: No you won't.
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Joey: No.
Joey: You really think so?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Okay Bobby, why dont we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
CHANDLER: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
Joey: Hey! Terry.
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Joey: Oww! Big ring!
Joey: I didn't know that! Well, what a pretty last name!
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!
Joey: I'm...happy...for you?
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: -Peaches?
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
Monica: Hello, Joey.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Joey: You're in!
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right?
Joey: Think it'll work?
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Joey: Ma! What're you doing here?
Joey: Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach?
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Joey: Exellent dream score.
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)
Joey: Sure I do. (holding up his own dessert) Coule?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering with a peace offering of a Joey Special, two pizzas.]
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Joey: (on the other end at a pay phone) Hey, its me. Listen Casey and I were on our way back and had a little car trouble.
Joey: Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
(They leave as Ross stares in awe at Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Rachel: Joey no, this is wrong! You have to take it back, okay? You dont want to win an award this way. Youre very talented. And someday youre gonna win one of these for real and that one is gonna mean something.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon mousse.
Joey: (tasting) Mmmm. Good.