words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Joey: Eh, what are you gonna do?
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Joey: Uhhh, mine too! Yeah.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Joey: Oh umm, not go.
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: All right! Thanks Pheebs!
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
Joey: (quickly) Yes!
Joey: Well, back to square one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: A swimmer!
Joey: Peanut butter!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: Hey man, what's up?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Joey: You got it!
Joey: Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: See ya! (Walks out.)
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat?
Joey: (shocked) What?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Joey: Dude you said, "No!"
Joey: I don't believe this!
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Get out!!
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Joey: Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat.
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Joey: What?!
Joey: No!
Joey: Wh-what?! Why?!
Joey: Uh, hang out?! How long?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Don't come out here!
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?