words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: I dont know, Chandler is supposed to be passin em around...
Joey: Chandler!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Ross: Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. Hows it going. This is the hardest letter Ive ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hells a matter with you? How do you think Joeys going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joeys Sister: (whispering in his ear) Just do it.
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joeys Sister: No, Im Mary-Theresa.
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Dream Joey: I love you too.
Joey: Uhh, well, she's really good in bed.
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Phoebe and Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: Uhh, just a minute officer!!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Joey: Boy, that guy's underwear sucks!
Joey: Nope. Op, wait! There he goes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
Ross: Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Joey: This is your place?
Joey: Ugh!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
Joey: But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.)
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
JOEY: Have you been here all night?
Joey: You kissed him?!
Joey: What happened?
Joey: (He goes into a song and dance number)
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Joey: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister.
Joey: I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it?
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Joey: Damnit!! Did you move?!
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV as Chandler enters.]
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
Ross: Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Joey: What, what!? it's for her hot friends!
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Joey: Okay, pick a card.
Joey: All right now, memorize it. (Pause) You got it?
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Joey: Luck!
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Joey: Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! Youve got cotton, silk, lace! And yknow what Ive always wondered about?
Joey: Done.
Joey: You're a dork.
Joey: All right!
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Rachel: Joey! I cant believe you just did that!
Joey: What?! Are you kidding?!
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
Joey: Okay! Well need a six-pack of Zima.
(Ross leaves, and after the door closes, Joey gives him the loser sign.)
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Joey: No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left.
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Joey: (Happily) Yeah I did!
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Joey: Who knows?
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Joey: Man, this is gonna be kinda weird.
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (To the guys) Hey!
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Joey: What? Chandler! Tell 'em!
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.]
Joey: Oh yeah, no problem.
Joey: Well this is noodle soup and uh, I've been working with tomato. But that's okay, no problem. No problem. Hmm, noodle soup.
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Joey: Uh-oh.
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Joey: Hi!
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: (sitting back down) Was the chord at least right
Joey: Hmm, noodle soup.