words in movies
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
(Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over)
Joey: Need a new table.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Joey: That's the rule.
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: You knew about that?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey: Yeah
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Joey: Or an uncle...
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Joey: Hey!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Joey: Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning!
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Oh yeah!
Joey: Oh, okay. I I ate way too much.
Joey: I was kinda hoping youd stay.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Joey: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
Joey: (grabbing her) Here we go! Here we go! (Starts to pull her away from Kash.)
Joey: (climbing down from his chair) Do you uh, do youready for a refill?
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!
Joey: Hello!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Ohh!
Joey: Im up all night!
Joey: Im loud!
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Joey: Ew.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Isnt that great?
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: Hot?
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Chandler: And Joey.
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Joey: Yeah, me too. (He flips up his armrest in disgust.)
Joey: So you uh, nervous about getting married?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!
Joey: Joey Tribbiani, a big fan.
Joey: Why-why would she go in the bedroom?
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Joey: Hey! Did you talk to Dennis about me yet?
Joey: In a minute!
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Joey: You do it!
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
Joey: I miss this.
Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
Joey: No, I-I miss hanging out with you.
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Joey: Hey! Its your bachelor party.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Joey: (laughing) You fall for it every time!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: No theyre not! Theyre ugly and stupid and delicious!
Joey: What?!
Joey: Phoebe!
Joey: She is?
Joey: I just want you to say it once in a while.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Joey: Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. (Thinks about it.) Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
(Joey enters eating potato chips.)
Joey: Oh hey!
Monica: (to Will) Joey.
Janine: Hey Joey, I got some beer for you.
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Joey: Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Joey: (quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Joey: That hot girl from their wedding?
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Joey: You are my Everest.
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Joey: No just, nobody press on my stomach.
Joey: Not now! These are my Thanksgiving pants!
Monica: Well Joey, were all were all very proud of you.
Phoebe: Joey! Those are my maternity pants!
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
(Joey notices Monica has gotten a pie.)
Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.