words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Joey: Hey! A dog! Hi! Who, you got to admit, looks a lot like Jane.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Joey: oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. (Sarah reaches over and takes a few fries)
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Joey: That's right!
JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?
Grandma Tribbiani: Oh Joey!
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
(Joey casually pushes Ross over the back of the couch and sits down proud of himself.)
(Joey and Chandler both run to shut off the tape.)
Joey: Oh, yeah, good idea.
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Chandler: Joey... Switzerland?
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Joey: Yep!
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?!
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Joey: Yeah, what's that like?
Joey: Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had.
Joey: Oh what? Like your Mr. Cop!
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Joey: Is everything okay?
Ross: Uh-huh. Thank Joey!
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Joey: Hi.
Phoebe: My God, Joey!
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that.
Joey: Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, Ill go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye.
Gary: No, Joey!
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Ross and Joey: Bye!
Joey: Dude! How come you took off?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Is something wrong?
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense
Joey: How good is that?
Joey: See?
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: I kinda feel like it's my fault.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Joey: Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Dont you wanna stay here and talk about it?
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Joey: Hey, what time is it?
Joey: Hey!
Joey and Ross: No.
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Joey: It's not a cat!
Joey: It's not a cat!
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Uhh, the ball thing.
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
Joey: (catches the ball) Uh-oh.
Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: Oh, I don't know . Yeah, can't do it.
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
Joey: Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat.
Joey: I was thinking Chinese food.
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Joey: Hey! Youre back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.
Joey: That's right baby.
Joey: Oh yeah, that's right!
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat!
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)