words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Ross: Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere?
Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?
Joey: No idea what it means.
Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)
Ross: You know where Joey is?
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: Is he gone?
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross.
Joey: Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off...
Joey: I'm thinking about you...
Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you.
Joey: What's wrong?
Joey: Let's forget about Ross...
Joey: Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross...
Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey?
Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.
Joey: Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?
Joey: I understand...
Joey: I mean what kind of an actor, what kind of an actor cant even say, "Hmm, noodle soup?"
Ross: No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)
Joey: Great! Im finally getting into this sailing stuff.
Joey: Theres one lucky to-go cup of coffee.
Joey: Ooh...
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Joey: I guess so. I'm just... really nervous.
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.
Joey: Yeah... Now I have something...
Joey: You kissed.
Joey: I saw you.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh... uh... look... before you...
Joey: I am those things, yeah.
Joey: I can't think of anything.
Rachel: So you eh, you talked to Joey?
Joey: Dude!
Joey: Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Joey: Im a doctor Cliff, not a mathematician.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
Joey: Argh-argh!! (Catches the coat.) Ooh, soft. Is this mink?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Joey enters.]
Joey: Stop saying good night.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Joey: Rach, he just saw us.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey: Probably.
Joey: Ross?
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: No, no, no!
Joey: No, no!
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Ross..
Joey: I do like fajitas.
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
Joey: Oh. Oh, thanks.
Joey: Hey, Charlie!
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Joey: Uh, actually, that's..
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Joey: More back talk. And yes, I may be borrowing a few lines from my recent unsuccessful audition for "Family Honor 2: Thissa Time Itsa Personal."
Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Morning. Here you go.
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.