words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
(Ross shoots Joey a look, who shoots Chandler a look, who gives Joey an Oh my God. look back.)
[Everyone except Joey and Chandler leave.]
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Ross: Didnt you spend last night at Joeys?
Rachel: Is Joey Tribbiani here?
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Joey: Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Joey: Uhh do it?
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
Joey: You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey, thats actually a really good idea!
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
Joey: I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! (Goes back to the door) I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. (Looks through the spyhole)
Joey: (climbing out of the hole) What?! What?!! What is it?!
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Joey: But its $2,000.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Joey: Hey, you're not Kip!
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Joey: Damnit Carl!
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Joey: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Joey: Why? (In Drakes voice.) Why cant the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Careful! Youre wasting good pastrami! (Gasps.) Oh my God! Im my dad!
Joey: Ah-ha!
Joey: When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Monica: Joey that is so sweet.
Joey: Ah whatever!
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
(Joey sits down.)
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Joey: I know.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Fat Joey: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! (Groans and picks up a piece of food.) How you doin?
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So?
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Joey: Great! Roomie!
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.