words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Joey: Because she is!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
Joey: Hey uh, where do you guys want this?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?
[Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter]
Joey: Hey, don’t get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: Well, so, stay for the museums!
Joey: It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Enter Joey]
Joey: Make the transfer! (She does so)
Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: Joey, come on!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
Joey: Original or crappy?
Joey: Really? She... she loves me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]
Joey: ... she's being unreasonable!
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Joey: It does?
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Uh!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Joey: I like those odds!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.
Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Joey: I did?
Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was?
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
Joey: Ooh! Tough odds!
Joey: (Still excited)By you!?
JOEY: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
Joey: (excited)Did you get it?
Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Joey: Can't really say!
Joey: I won, hey!
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
Joey: (in pain) Oh!
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Joey: And what did she say?
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything?