words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Joey: Everyday use.
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Joey: Guest.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Five years.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?
(Joey turns around and sees them kissing.)
Joey: (Something in Italian.) (Storms out.)
Joey: My folks.
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
[Chandler and Joey stop dancing and laugh at her]
Joey: I'm gonna say someone I'm gonna have sex with. (the girl leaves and Phoebe goes toward the couch) (to Phoebe) Hey!
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Joey: Weve got a box. (Motions to a large wooden box next to him.)
Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Joey: Hes fine!
Joey: Chandler?
Monica: And Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: You kissed my girlfriend!
Tim: Hi, Joey.
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
JOEY: Oh man, she's so smokin, she has got the greatest set of. . . no guys around, huh.
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Joey: So are you gonna start taking this thing seriously?
Joey: Hey.
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Joey: Hey, don't look at me. This is Ross's thing.
Rachel: Joey, had reasons.
Joey: In the box.
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
(Joey says something unintelligible and they hug.)
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
Joeys Grandmother: Of course! Its her favorite.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Joey: And-and you wont blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)
Joey: Really?!
Joey: All right, Ill see you guys.
Joey: Okay. (leaves as the phone rings)
JOEY: Joseph's good, isn't he?
Joey: (entering) Hey there you are!
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Joey: Well, we have to say something! We have to get it out! Its eating me alive!! Monica got stung by a jellyfish.
Joey: Youre gonna mess it up let me do it.
Joey: Big fat goalie.
Joey: Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Whos going with who?
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: Well, we could do that!
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah! All right? Lets go!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!!
Joey: What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions?
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Joey: Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Joey: Are you serious?!
Joey: Thank God! Im exhausted!
Joey: Were 29, were not women.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: So, were having fun, right?
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: I call Monicas room!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Oh, what are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Joey: Ohhh!
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
Joey: Sure! Where are the seats?
Hypnosis Tape: You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!