words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Joey: (trying not to be obvious) Take the bra off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: Hey.
Joey and Chandler: (stopping her) Oh no-no-no-no!
Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop.
Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Joey: Yeah right.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he likes porn.
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
Joey: You play hard to get.
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Joey: (pause) Nothing. No, nothing.
Joey: Okay, I see what's going on here.
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Noo! Nothing!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
[Scene: Joey is back at Hayley's place after there date.]
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: One.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: I think youre right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Joey: Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great!
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
(Joey closes the door behind her.)
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What do ya say? What do ya say?
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
Joey: No, but Im gonna!
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Joey: Someone you didnt make up!
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
Joey: See you later, Gene.
Joey: Dude, I am sorry about what I said!
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: Yeah, you do!
Joey: Come on!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Joey: We dont make enough fun of you already?
Joey: What?
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Joey: Whoa!
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Joey: Huh.