words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Maybe we should check the trash chute.
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
Joey: All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is going through the mail as Joey enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Janice: Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is reading a magazine as Ross hands him a beer.]
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Joey: Rach come on, what?
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: All right! All right! Uh, umm, Super-Speedy Speed round!
(Joey is stunned.)
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: I guess.
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: No.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?