words in movies
[Scene: Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering]
Joey: Hey. So where's Mon?
Joey: And you're not helping?
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.
Joey and Chandler: Hi.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Rachel: And Joey?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Joey: Sure.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Yes!
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Joey: For a walk.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn
(Joey comes over)
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: Molly ... people don't study acting ...
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: Ok (admits)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Joey: Its no big deal. Hey, yknow, you do what you gotta do. Right?
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: Is it on me? I feel, I feel like it's on me! I got, hey! (He storms into his room)
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
[Chandler and Joey come sprinting in]
Joey: Thanks, man. And oh, while you're at it, could you get her a card?
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.]
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Joey: All right look, Ross, hes right. Emilys great, shes great! But this way too soon, youre only gonna scare her!
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Joey: What, oh, oh, oh, no, no, I cant, I cant tell you that, its like the most awful, horrible thing Ive ever done my whole life.
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
Joey: Hey, dude, let me in. I got a girl out here!
Chandler: How about Joey... Pepponi?
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
Joey: (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: Ohh.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Joey: Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Which goes where?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: You got screwed.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Joey: Shut up!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Monica: Hey Joey, come taste this.
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Joey: (entering carrying a box) Hey!!
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?