words in movies
[Scene: Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering]
Joey: Hey. So where's Mon?
Joey: And you're not helping?
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.
Joey and Chandler: Hi.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Rachel: And Joey?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Joey: Sure.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Yes!
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Joey: For a walk.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn
(Joey comes over)
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: Molly ... people don't study acting ...
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: Ok (admits)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
[Scene: The museum cafeteria, Joey is eating with the tour guides as Ross enters.]
Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
Joey: (Poking his head out.) Havin' some trouble?
[Cut to Chandler and Joey's, Ross is seen throwing the ball into the bathroom, presumably where Joey is currently using the facilities.]
Phoebe: (to Joey and Chandler) Okay, bye!
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: Really?! Well, when?
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are talking.]
Joey: Great!
Joey: Wow.
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
Joey: Oh-oh, what about Ross?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Chandler are sitting and talking.]
Estelle: Joey, sweetheart, you were fabulous!
Joey: Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one.
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Joey: At least I care about his feelings!
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: Yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Joey: Let me see that!
Joey: Hey! Any good mail?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Bastard!
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Joey: Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
Joey: I dont know, maybe we werent ready to have a chick.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.