words in movies
[Scene: Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering]
Joey: Hey. So where's Mon?
Joey: And you're not helping?
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.
Joey and Chandler: Hi.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Rachel: And Joey?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Joey: Sure.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Yes!
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Joey: For a walk.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn
(Joey comes over)
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: Molly ... people don't study acting ...
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: Ok (admits)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Joey: Chandler!
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Joey: All right.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: What?
Joey: The what?
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
Joey: Who?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Its not that far! Just drop!
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Joey: Really? Thanks.
Joey: (unconfidently) O K.
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.
Joey: Done.
Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: What?!
Joey: Heeey!
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
Joey: Get out your checkbook, mister.
Joey: (raises his hand) I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer.
Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)
Joey: People, people, people.
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
Joey: Cool.
Joey: Hey.
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Joey: All right, you got it.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Joey: Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women.
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
Joey: These little women. Wow!
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.