words in movies
[Scene: Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering]
Joey: Hey. So where's Mon?
Joey: And you're not helping?
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Ross: Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.
Joey and Chandler: Hi.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Rachel: And Joey?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Joey: Sure.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Yes!
Ross: Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Joey: For a walk.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Joey: Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.
Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn
(Joey comes over)
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Joey: So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: Molly ... people don't study acting ...
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: Ok (admits)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Joey: Six months? Whoa thats rough.
Joey: Whoa, for like months?
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: How long since youve seen a girl naked?
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Good luck.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Ross: Joey! No!
Joey: Youre right. (Mouths, "I know youll show me, right?)
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Joey: No, Im performing the ceremony. Im not wearing a tux.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
Joey: Oh-whoa, what party?
Monica: (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Joey: (shocked) From the land down under? I didn't know that either!
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Joey: Hey dude, what's up?
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
Joey: Did you take that tape?
Joey: How do you know about that story?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Joey: What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!
Joey: Id say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh
Joey: She hot?
Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Joey: How did she get me to settle down?
Joey: Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin to that place.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
Joey: Oh sorry. Uh-uh, Kash?
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Joey: Hey you too!
Joey: This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel.
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Joey: No, couldnt care less.
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Joey: I said no.
Joey: (To Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Joey: No
Joey: But sadly I could not be enticed.
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Kash: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Joey: (backs off) What? Whoo... What?
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Joey: Why?
Joey: Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do?
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Joey: No, I said fun!
Joey: I don't know. Who'm I'm married to?
[Cut to Joey going over to talk to Dennis Phillips.]
Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
JOEY: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.