words in movies
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Joey: On...?
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair!
Joey: Arghhh! Double standards!
Joey: Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment.
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Joey: OK Thanks.(Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Joey: Oh good...
Joey: All right let's just do this.
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Joey: What, what.
Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
Joey: Comb my eyelashes.
Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You�ll understand when you�ll see Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Ha, oh, of course.
Joey: Your eyebrows look weird.
Joey: (joining in, in his sleep) Joey. Joey. Joey. Joey! Joey!!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
Joey: (proudly) Oh, you should here me.
Chandler: Are you kidding me?! Joey. Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey!!
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Joey: Ohhh, yeah!
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
(Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.)
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
Joey: You cant do anything!
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Joey/Drake: How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now.
Joey: Hey, it's not like it sounds.
Joey: Yeah, well
Joey: look I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Joey and Chandler: What?!
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Joey: I got it. (catches the ball)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Joey: It's Joey.
Chandler: Okay, there are no famous Joeys. Except for, huh, Joey Buttafucco.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much (Joey covers Hugsy's ears) Oh don't cover its ears! (stops yelling) It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
JOEY: What are these, like famous chickens?
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...
Joey: Everybodys doing stuff!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Hey!
Monica: (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah.
Joey: Yeah we are!
Joey: We could get that Everest video though.
Joey: No-no, its uh, its Heston.
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
Joey: It's never gonna happen.
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Yknow what goes good with that?
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
Joey: Listen also were uh, were watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over.
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Im so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see youre play. I swear youre play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. Youre play is the next play is the next play Im gonna see.
Joey: I guess I'm done.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Sorry! Sorry.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Hey!
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Chandler and Joey: Ohhh.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Ross is bringing Sarah to Joey and Chandlers.]
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk?
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Joey: Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: Are you strippers?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Joey: You got it.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)