words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Joey: You're in!
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Joey: Think it'll work?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
JOEY: He-he-he, how's it goin'?
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Joey: Well be there.
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
Joey: Hey. (He exits)
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Joey: 4:30.
Joey: Uh, 10:30.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Joey: She was kidding about that right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Dude, I dont know.
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey goes up to the bar to order.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Joey: So what are you gonna do?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is watching Joey read Little Women, Ross is also there.]
Joey: (Voice Over) Previously on Friends.
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
Joey: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Ross: Oh no! An asteroid! (throws the soccer ball off the back of Joeys head.)
JOEY: Olive loaf and ham spread, no mayo.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Dont answer that.
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Joey: Awful! Horrible!
Joey: (opening the door) And there you go!
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, there is lumber all over the apartment]
JOEY: Hey, why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
[Joey walks up helping Chandler.]
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Joey: Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet.
Chandler and Joey: Hey!!
Joey: Okay, done.
[Scene: The rest stop, Joey is making a sign.]
Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin?
Joey: But youre spittin all over me man!
Joey: That's a... pla-an.
Joey: Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.]
Joey: I-I cant handle this, you guys.
Rachel: Really Joey?
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Joey: (pause) What?
Joey: (pause) What?
Joey: Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.
Rachel: Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
Joey: Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
Joey: (interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an optionwhat's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Joey: What-whats so funny?
JOEY: Wow, this is wild. What're you gonna get?
Joey: Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
JOEY: Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.
Joey: What is the big deal? Its not like were exclusive.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Ross and Joey: No.
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
Joey: B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin' her.
Joey: Now, wh-what, what is that like?
Joey: I dont know, maybe I cant. I mean, maybe theres something wrong with me.
Joey: Well, I want it!
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!