words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Joey: You're in!
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Joey: Think it'll work?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Joey: Erin! Still here!
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Monica: Joey!!
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Joey: Yeah?
Chandler: Well, either that or uh (Motions towards Joeys door.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs?
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Hey Rach?
Rachel: Oh my God! Joey!
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
Joey: Yeah right! (Gets up for a refill to his snow cone.)
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
Joey: (Confused.) But, he loves Emily?
Chandler: Joey!
Joey: Whats up buddy?
Joey: Waiting for candy.
Joey: Yeah lady! Give us candy!!
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
(Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.)
ROSS: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Joey: (yelling) No! Drums!
(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Joey: Hey-hey, Pheebs, check it out, we already learned a song. (To Rachel) Ready? One, two, three, four...
Rachel and Joey: Tequila!!
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Joey: What is Rock 'n' Roll about that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Monica: Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Joey: Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. What's an elf to do?
Joey: You spent a hundred dollars. Thats the limit. Youre screwed!
Rachel: Phoebe, its okay. I like living with Joey.
Joey: I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there.
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Joey: Cage closed?
Joey: (yelling from the bedroom) Is it back in the cage?
Joey: Oh-oh! So thats the way its gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too yknow!
Phoebe: Okay. (Joey exits.)
Joey: Ill see you at 8:00.
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: The RossIs that back?!! (Chandler motions no.)
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
Joey: Hey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Monica: Joey, that papers like a year old!
Joey: Yknow what Ross? Im not gonna let you get away with this!
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Ross: Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee?
Joey: Well well see!
Joey: (entering wearing a Superman costume) Merry Christmas!
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Joey: What?! Tonight?!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: (seeing what theyre doing) What do you got there?
Joey: Huh? Uh (He starts taking off his pants.)
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!