words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Joey: You're in!
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Joey: Think it'll work?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Joey: Guess what?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Joey: I got a gig!
Joey: (glares at him) I know!
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Joey: Hi!
JOEY: Yaaahhh. Ahhh, candles. What'dya thinks gonna happen here tonight?
Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!
Joey: No.
Joey: Hey now!
Joey: Ahh!
Joey: You want me to lie to Chandler?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Okay, great.
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Joey: All right. I cant see.
Joey: Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.
Joey: I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants.
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Joey: (heartbroken) I understand.
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: I had the same dream!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
Joey: Hey-hey.
Joey: You bet! Whats the part?
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Joey: (smiling) Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are watching Three's Company.]
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Joey: Whoa. That was really good.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
Joey: All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.
Joey: Did you see the size of the closets?!
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
(Joey gets the evil look on his face.)
Joey: Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Joey: What did they do?
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
(Joey fakes a scream.)
Joey: They were in his office.
Joey: Whoa, ah!! Were you just gonna give me some lemonade?
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: You said number two.
Joey: Uh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
Joey: I know. (giggles harder)
Joey: Well, now we got a reason.
Joey: Hey uh, whats a matter?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Im not judging.
Erin: Okay. (Joey goes to get some coffee and Erin sits down.)
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
JOEY: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
[Scene: Back at the restroom at Marcel's. Chandler is still in the stall, Joey comes in to go to the bathroom.]
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Wow! That was good. That was...(points to his pocket) Tweezers?
Joey: (on the tape) I'm comin' out! (He opens the door and hops out pointing the gun in all directions and then runs out of view.)
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Joey: Mar-klan.
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Joey: I think so.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
JOEY: The Ice Capades?
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Joey: Pheebs, run!
Joey: After!!
Joey: No. Y'know how were always saying we need a place for the mail.