words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.
Joey: You're in!
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Joey: Think it'll work?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.]
Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters?
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now.
Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right.
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
(Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.)
(Joey enters from the stairs.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is.
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
Joey: (in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Joey: Ok. Why?
Joey: Hello?
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Joey: Why?
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Joey: (impressed) You blow me away.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Joey: Estelle?
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Just flip!
[Scene: Joey's place. Rachel and Joey are talking]
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
(Joey enters through the side window and jogs towards the kitchen holding a baseball bat)
Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Joey: You guys hear a ringing?
(Joey takes the bubble wrap off his head)
Joey: Now it just hit her that she's leaving and she's kind of emotional so no one say anything to set her off, ok?
Joey: (entering the room) Hey.
Joey: Oh, she's putting Emma down, she'll be over in a second.
Joey: What did I just say?
Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning!
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh?
Joey: (nods) So, why are you still wearing it?
[Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.]
Joey: (still very emotional) Lucky bastard!
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Who's that dirty old lady?
Joey: Chandler, wait, wait, wait...
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Joey: Yeah. All right, now give me your best shot.
Joey: A little more.
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: He's planning your birthday party.
Joey: Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Joey: I bet you did!
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Ross, wait!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Joey: Damn it!
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: Good luck, good luck!
Joey: This is so cool!
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?