words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Joey: Morning, roomie!
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Joey: Wow! So, how are you?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Well, actually it...
Joey: Wow, really?
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
Joey: Ooh, names?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
Joey (checks the refrigerator): Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots... Ooh! Strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: Why are they doing this?
Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
Joey: I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Joey: Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night: Yuck! But we should probably keep it down; she's still in the bedroom.
Joey: I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.
Joey: Ooh, that's a great plan!
Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, Joey.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: All right! Who is he?
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Joey: Oh my god, you're right!
Joey: She even reads for pleasure!
Joey: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Phoebe: Joey.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Joey: Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.
Joey: Ooh...I hear that's bad.
Joey: Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
Joey: Hello?
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
Joey: Emma? Hey! Hi!
Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
(Joey and Chandler enter with Emma.)
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
(Joey starts to leave.)
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Joey: Hey, I gotta! Unless...
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Joey: (BEAT) (Laughs.) You almost had me.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Joey: Uh-huh.
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
(Joey does the "plan-laugh.")
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Joey: We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Joey: Where?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?
Joey: We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
Joey: You serious?
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Joey: Okay, here we go. Ready?
Monica: (entering) Is Joey here?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is holding the cat, Monica is treating the scratches on Ross' back. Joey is holding the menorah over the wound.]
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Joey: Really?!
Joey: All right.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: A four and a nine.
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin in there.
Joey: Dad, Ronni's here.
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Won't-won't that take longer?
Joey: (in a sexy voice) How you doin'?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Joey: I dont know how to lead.
Joey: Really?! Uhh, what color is it?
Issac: (to Chandler and Joey) Can I help you?
Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?
Joey: Fifty-six!
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
Joey: Hey!
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Joey: (answering the question) Althea!
(Joey starts to giggle.)
Joey: Its him, not it!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
[Joey opens the door and sees Erica (Brooke Shields). Joey gets a huge smile and Chandler squeezed the dish soap in the air.]
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Joey: Well, anyway, I got to go change, Im ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks.
Chandler: Well, Joeys my best friend.
Joey: Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance.
Joey: Yeah, she's gonna live with me!
Joey: You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer!
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: All right, we have to pick captains.
Joey: "When can you move in?"
Joey: Of course I did.
Joey: Oh God, yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are playing catch with a little foam globe.]
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Joey: (happily) Okay!
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Joey: (in a bored voice) PBS telethon.
Joey: (jumps out of the box) I Gotcha!!
Joey: Heyyy. (They all try and hide their invitations.)
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: (voice cracking) Ohhhh man
Joey: (jumps up and yells)
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]
(Joey pulls his hand out and reverts back to intense pain.)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Joey: Well, that's pretty good. But you might wanna tone it down a little.
Joey: Oh!
Janine: Joey...
Joey: What?!?!
Joey: Oh dear God!
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Joey: Sure, neighbor come on in.
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Joey: No.
Joey: No.
Joey: Im a man.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Janine: Hey Joey.
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Joey: Were gonna climb Mt. Everest!
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Joey: I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong?!
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?