words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Chandler!
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Joey: All right.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: What?
Joey: The what?
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
Joey: Who?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Its not that far! Just drop!
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Joey: Really? Thanks.
Joey: (unconfidently) O K.
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.
Joey: Done.
Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: What?!
Joey: Heeey!
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
Joey: Get out your checkbook, mister.
Joey: (raises his hand) I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer.
Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)
Joey: People, people, people.
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
Joey: Cool.
Joey: Hey.
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Joey: All right, you got it.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Joey: Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women.
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
Joey: These little women. Wow!
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.