words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: How ya doin?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah.
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Joey: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Joey: Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah!
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Joey: Well, why do you call him Gandolf?
Joey: I need something sweet.
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: Question. Was ah, Egg the Gellers! the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.
Joey: Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time.
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Joey: Yeah, what going on?
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: Awwww!
Chandler and Joey: Surprise!!
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: A little salami.
Joey: Pastrami.
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Joey: We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.
Joey: Feel better now?
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Joey: (trying not to be obvious) Take the bra off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: Hey.
Joey and Chandler: (stopping her) Oh no-no-no-no!
Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop.
Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Joey: Yeah right.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he likes porn.
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
Joey: You play hard to get.
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?