words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: (Approaching) Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died?
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Joey: There y'go, kids.
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Joey: You seen Sandy?
Joey: Looks like that no date pact thing worked out.
Janine: Joey, you dont have to count down every time we kiss.
Joey: No you cant do that, where would the chick and the duck live?
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Joey: I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.
Joey: Yeah, o-o-o-o-okay anyway, I just wanted to say Im sorry. Here. (Hands him a cup.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Right. No big deal.
(Enter Joey)
Joey: You don't think my mom's sexy?
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Joey: So are you gonna tell him?
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
Joey: I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
Monica: Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Joey: Well, this-this-this was great. Didnt everybody have a great time?
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: That makes more sense.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Joey: Need a new table.
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Joey: That's the rule.
Joey: Yeah
Joey: Why not?
Joey: You knew about that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!
Joey: Or an uncle...
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Ross: (noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Casting Director No. 2: Next. (Joey walks onstage)
Joey: (offended) Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part.
Joey: (announcer voice) Rightie-O Ray!
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Joey: You cuddled.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey: Oh yeah!
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!