words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Joey: Umm, do you see anyoh, Vaseline?
Joey: Nice!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Joey: (answering phone) Hello?
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
JOEY: And what did he say?
Joey: Hey Robert, could you ah, ha, pass me those cookies?
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Joey: What-what is it, what is it?
Joey: I'm not listening to you!
Joey: Hey, Pheebs?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Joey: Umm?
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Joey: I might know something.
Joey: Do you know something?
Joey: I can't tell you what I know.
Joey: What's the thing you know?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Joey: Okay, fine.
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Joey: You don't know!
Joey: Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
Joey and Rachel: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, I know!!!!
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
Joey: (gasps) YOU KNOW!!!!
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.
Joey: I don't know.
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Joey: Hey Ross!
Joey: (thinks) I don't know.
Joey: Rach! Rach! Listen, I'm gonna kiss you at midnight.
Joey: Will you calm down, hes just a human guy.
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Chandler: (to Joey) Noo!! I dont care! Im not, Im not gonna playing one-on-one strip poker with you for practice!
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Greens? Im a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
Joey: All right, let's go Pheebs.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Janice are returning from their DAY OF FUN!]
Joey: Howdy partner!
JOEY: Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Joey: Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
Joey: Damnit Phoebe!!
Joey: Judge rules, no violation.
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: Dont answer that.
Janice: All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
Monica: (entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!
Joey: Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.
Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why dont you set us up?
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Umm, hi.
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Joey: All right.
Joey: Great! Thanks, Rach!
Joey: Pheebs! Sorry!
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Joey: (entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?
Joey: Are you all right?
Joey: Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Joey: Really? A purse?
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
Joey: Hey!