words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Joey: (angrily) What?!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Joey, what are you doing?
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Joey: Oh youll take em!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: You went through my personal property?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldnt be supportive!
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didnt deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Joey: HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!
Joey: Dont worry, Tribbianis never get full.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: (raises his hand) Some guy!! (Points to himself.)
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
(Dramatic music plays and Joey does a little Smell-the-fart acting.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: Oh, whats wrong?
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Joey: Then why did I ask?
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.
Joey: Youre Rachel!
Rachel: Youre Joey!
Joey: Youre my friend!
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
Joey: I know!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Joey: This conversation never happened!
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Joey: Good night!
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Joey: Ooh, great! Thanks!
Joey: Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Joey: Why dont I take you out?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Joey: Ill be fun.
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? Were on a date.
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachels dinner order.]
Joey: Yknow what? Bring her both, and Ill have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
Rachel: Ohh, Lilies. Joey, theyre my favorite. Thank you.
Joey: Alright, so so tell me one of your moves.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.
Joey: (exasperated) Queens.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Well, unfortunately, I don't get many callbacks so
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Joey: Chandler?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Joey: Huh. Huh.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya