words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Shes a woman!
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.
Joey: Thanks!
Joey: It's not.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
Joey: Done!
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Joey: Yeah, wow, sorry Rach.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick!
Joey: What's the matter?!
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
Joey: Chandler.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay, great!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Joey: Really? Who-who have you taught?
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Joey: Yeah that'd be great! Thanks Pheebs!
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Joey: Umm, okay.
Joey: That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.
Joey: Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: No.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: Yes!
Joey: You look like a freak.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..
Joey: Well, Chandler's old roomate was Jewish, and these are the only candles we have, so... Happy Chanukah, everyone.
Joey: Yes! Yes, I did.
Joey: Your other student, was you!
Joey: What?! I didn't touch a guitar!
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Joey: Umm, do you see anyoh, Vaseline?
Joey: Nice!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Joey: (answering phone) Hello?
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Joey: Ross? You okay?
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Rachel: (entering) Joey, do you have a minute?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
JOEY: And what did he say?
Joey: Hey Robert, could you ah, ha, pass me those cookies?
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Joey: What-what is it, what is it?
Joey: I'm not listening to you!
Joey: Hey, Pheebs?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there to apologize to Phoebe.]
Joey: Oh, ah, tour guide at the museum. Yeah, Ross got it for me.
Joey: Umm?
Rachel: Hey, uh, Joey?
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Joey: I might know something.
Joey: Do you know something?