words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Joey: We just got the message.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: (pause)...Yeah?
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: What?
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Joey: (taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Joey: Check.
Joey: All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool.
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey are just leaving Monica and Rachel's.]
Joey: That's OK, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: Ooh, look-look-look-look-look! I got Monica naked!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
Joey: She really said that?
Joey: 'Tonight' tonight?
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Did you get your money back?
Joey: How could you lose him?
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
Joey: All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! (hugs him)
Angela: Hey, Joey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV.]
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Oh. Then, no.
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: A monkey.
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Joey: Marcel?
Joey: Hey, hey. How was the first day?
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Ross: Uh.. uh.. Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: ..Naughty!
Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?
(Joey exits.)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.