words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Joey: Hey, so how is it?
Joey: Sure, May...tember.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Joey: Okay, relationship, boy this could take a while.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Joey: Occupation? Dinosaurs.
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is sitting in the lobby as Ross enters.]
Joey: Lookin' good Mr. Cotter.
Joey: Its pretty, Okay date of birth?
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
Joey: Wow.
Joey: So?
Joey: Really?
Joey: And youre Okay with that?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Joey: (makes quote marks) "Thanks."
Ross: Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly)
Joey: Two it is. Ross, how about you?
[Scene: The New School, Joey and Monica are walking down a hallway.]
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are sitting at one of the high tables.]
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Joey: A year?!
Joey: (Laughs)
Joey: Uhuh.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Joey: (Laughs)
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: (Laughs)
Joey: Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
Joey: Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?
Joey: No.
Joey: Mike.
Joey: MIKE!!!
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Joey: Okay, look...
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Joey: (Laughs) From school.
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls?
Joey: What?!
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Joey: Good night!
Joey: (Walks In)
Joey: Look at this. My two best friends!
Joey: (Pause) Sorry. (Raises his hand in shame.)
Joey: Huh. Okay. (Awkward silence.) So uh, I think Im gonna take off.
Joey: He had to board.
Monica: Joey?
Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Monica:: hey Joey
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Joey: how come?
(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)
Joey: (turns round) gesundheit
Joey: hot not hot (she turns around) Hot!
Joey: didn't till just now.
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Joey: that would've been better, I'll try that Hi I'm Joey.
Joey: really, great, did I actually ask you?
Joey: So, were walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, Hey, lets go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes, remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, Nah, lets just hang out at your place. Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Joey: Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.
[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it wont budge.]
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Joey: (Laughs) Poophack... (Laughs)
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
Joey: (getting worried) Bite me?
Joey: (enters) Hey
Joey: Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!?
Joey: listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her.
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Joey: and who's fault is that.
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Monica:: Joey, Joey.
Joey: What?
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Joey: He seemed like a stand up guy. Oh, and hes not into anything weird sexually.
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?
Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together?
Joey: I dunno!
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Joey: Thursday? But that�s Halloween.
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Joey: I know, u-uch.