words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! Theres a lot of theories that didnt pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Joey: But its $2,000.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)
Joey: Hey, you're not Kip!
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Joey: No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!
Joey: Thats right! And what are you not gonna do?
Joey: Damnit Carl!
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Joey: Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Joey: Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Joey: So are guys doing okay?
Joey: Why? (In Drakes voice.) Why cant the world stop turning, just for a moment? Just for us?
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Monica: Yeah baby! (Phoebe and Joey nod.)
Joey: Oh, how bad is it?
Monica: Joey! Hes working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Careful! Youre wasting good pastrami! (Gasps.) Oh my God! Im my dad!
Joey: Ah-ha!
Joey: When youre off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Hey Joey, how come our stuff isnt free?
[Scene: Monica and Joeys, Monica is cooking.]
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Monica: Joey that is so sweet.
Joey: Ah whatever!
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Monica: Joey! You didnt even know her!
(Joey sits down.)
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Joey: I know.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
Fat Joey: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! (Groans and picks up a piece of food.) How you doin?
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So?
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Joey: Great! Roomie!
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Joey: Ooh! So close.
Joey: Good for you!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Joey: Huh.
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Joey: (pause) Give me $400!
Joey: Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridgeour new fridge!