words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Wow.
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
(Joey tires of this, so he gets up to leave.)
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Ray: Uh Joey, didnt your agents give you the revised rules? Weve eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards.
Joey: What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
MONICA: Joey.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
JOEY: Page 42, page 42, page 42.
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
JOEY: Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
JOEY: No. No way, I'm not signing that.
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.
JOEY: Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
RACHEL: Joey.
[Joey opens the door]
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
JOEY: Hey.
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Howd it go?
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango?
JOEY: No, can we get back to me?
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
JOEY: Anybody want a croan.
JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: I'm sorry. See ya.
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
JOEY: Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. [laughs hysterically]
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
JOEY: What is it?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Ross enter.]
JOEY: Oh my God.
JOEY: Ahh.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: So what.
JOEY: Yeah.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: That's a two line part.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!