words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Joey: Well, so, will you help me? I really wanna be in this play.
Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?
Joey: Ok.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Got it.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty.
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is trying to teach Joey French.]
Joey: Je do call blue!
Joey: pel.
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Me pooh pooh!
Joey: mah
Joey: pel.
Joey: je.
Joey: je.
Joey: Well hurry, I can't feel my ears!
Joey: Nooo. No, no, ah, are you sure it wasnt something that sounded like Ginger, like ah, Gingeer?
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Phoebe: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Joey: mah
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Director: Whenever you're ready Joey.
Gene: A torch, a bonfire... (Joey seems lost) uhm, your pee...
Director: Joey, do you speak French?
Joey: Sa-sa-saw!
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
(The director looks at Joey and he nods.)
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.]
Joey: No.
Joey: No.
Joey: Would fall off a lot.
Joey: That I can do.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are throwing huge spitballs at the entertainment center.]
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Joey: (enters) Hey guys.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Joey: (understanding) Oh.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Joey: (turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow!
Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: (frightened) What?
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Joey: Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey's on the phone.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Joey: Hey, great! All right!
Rachel: Joey...
Rachel: (walking towards Joey) Joey, it would mean so...
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Joey: (in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Joey: Ok. Why?
Joey: Hello?
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.