words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
Joey: Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)
Joey: And there it is.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) Im tellin ya!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I cant believe you said youd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Phoebe: Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: No.
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
Joey: Cool.
Joey: Hey.
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Joey: All right, you got it.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Joey: Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women.
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
Joey: These little women. Wow!
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
Joey: Duh, where've you been?
Robert: (to Joey) Hey!
(Joey recoils and gasps in horror.)
Joey: Then why would you say that?!
Joey: Beth, Beth dies?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler is still leaning against the door, keeping Joey out, who is still banging and shouting on the other side.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Joey: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
[Chandler and Joey enter.]
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Rachel: Joey?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Beth is really, really sick.
Joey: (bends down to see and the cactus pricks him in the ass) AWCH! That's why.
JOEY: 'Cause it's always somethin', you know, like Monica's new job, or the whole Ross's birthday hoopla.
Joey: (To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!
Chandler: (to Joey) Well hes probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
Ginger: Joey? Joey Tribbiani?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are discussing what to do about the now naked hooker in the guestroom.]
Joey: And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
Joey: Oooh.
Joey: Jos there, but I dont think theres anything she could do.
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Is ah, is Chandler around?
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: I ran!!
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Joey: (to Phoebe) Wow, that was kinda brutal.
Joey: Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!
Joey: Oh, now I have to go!!
Chandler: Joey told you about the leg, huh?
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Joey: Yeah. You okay?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Where have you been?
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Ross: (looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Joey: Done.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]
Joey: So Pheebs whats this guy like?
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
JOEY: He-he-he, how's it goin'?
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Joey: Well be there.
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
Joey: Hey. (He exits)
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Joey: 4:30.
Joey: Uh, 10:30.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Joey: She was kidding about that right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Dude, I dont know.
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
JOEY: Hey Phoebs, if you want, I'll do it.
Joey: Whats going on?
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)