words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, has split up his newspaper so Joey can look at the funnies, while Ross's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Joey: He should take the sack?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Joey: When's that?
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
(Joey looks at his friends, thinks a bit more, then realises.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Joey: Urse...
Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Joey: You don't drink.
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
Joey: I know...
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Joey: Pheebs?
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Joey: We just got the message.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
Joey: �Hola, amigos! (Hey, everybody!)
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
JOEY: Freaky.
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
JOEY: Ahh, you drive safe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Joey: no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
Joey: Yeah, well be fine.
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
JOEY: Sir.
JOEY: Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.
JEANNIE: Bye bye Joey.
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
Joey: Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while.
JOEY: Karen.
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
JOEY: Really?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: Well, I-I mightve said supergay.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (sarcastically) Good morning.
Joey: This is Janice.
Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Wheel!
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."