words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
JOEY: Art.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
MONICA: Joey.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: The guy left this.
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Phoebe: Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.
Ross: Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
Joey: Yeah. What-what did Tag say?
Rachel: Tag is not the father! And Joey knows now?
Joey: (entering) You opened them all?
Chandler: (looking at Joeys feet) Those arent eleven and a half.
Joey: There you go!
Joey: Pheebs, give me the ring back!
Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered
JOEY: Hey, look, I don't need you getting all judgemental and condescending and pedantic.
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Hey!
Joey: We know its Ross!
Joey: Uh, eleven, eleven and a half.
Joey: Bye.
Joey: Well that, that sounds good.
Joey: What secrets?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are entering.]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Joey: Are you kidding me?! I love Archie! And the whole gang!
Joey: Why would they take away our keys?
Joey: Yeah that didnt sound like me.
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
Joey: Hey, I washed those!
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah uh, what am I gonna do?
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Yeah, it seemed pretty important.
Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Joey: Oh wow, I dont feel well.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Joey: All right Ill talk in code. (to Ross and Chandler) Remember when the kid sees those two blanks in the hallway?
(Chandler and Joey enter with charcoal.)
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Treeger, what are you doing?
Joey: What the hell is that?
Ross: 15? (Joey nods again) Your personal best! (Ross takes an Oreo and Joey mumbles, no!)
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Ross: Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentines Day? Whats going on, huh? Girl trouble?
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Joey: That wasn't a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?
Joey: How are you doing?
Joey: (With Big Eyes.) All right, youre right. Ill talk to her.
Joey: Well, what did you say to her?
Joey: (shocked) What?
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is on the phone and Phoebe is watching him.]
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
Joey: Yknow, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Joey: Yaaaay!
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Joey: A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Chandler are eating the cheesecake right out of the box.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is getting some coffee as Joey enters. He's looking a little puffy, but that's probably from the large number of different color sweaters he's wearing.]
Joey: Youre welcome buddy.
Rachel: Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.
Ross: (glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)
Joey: I couldn't even if I wanted too.
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Joey: Oh I think we do.
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Joey: Six months? Whoa thats rough.
Joey: Whoa, for like months?
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: How long since youve seen a girl naked?
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]