words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
JOEY: Art.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
MONICA: Joey.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Joey: Sure, neighbor come on in.
Joey: (Looking around the room.) It is???
Joey: No.
Joey: No.
Joey: Im a man.
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.]
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Janine: Hey Joey.
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Joey: Were gonna climb Mt. Everest!
Joey: Yeah, well, it feels different.
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Joey: I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong?!
Joey: Wha-a how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there�s still some food left on their place, okay, what�s the restaurant�s policy about people eatin� that?
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Joey: Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Chandler: Yes, God forbid we throw out old underwear. You-you know what? Im going to go over to Joeys.
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
JOEY: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: What?
Joey: Look, which one of us is gonna be having sex in there, me or you?
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
(They start making out again, and it takes Joey trying to enter to stop them.)
Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Joey: Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!
Joey: Oh, dude Im so sorry!
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Joey: Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joeys going and is a little worried) Okay
Joey: (Smiling) Okay.
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Joey: And a couple of these little tiny boxes.
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Joey: Well maybe I love ya.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is talking to his students.]
Phoebe: Well, we cannot tell Joey about this. He's already flipping out about everything that's changing. This will push him over the edge.
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.
Joey and Ross: Hey!
[Joey and Ross enter.]
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Joey: Well, this has been great!
Joey: Uh, some of her friends, yeah.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Joey: (pause) For just you?
Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. Were knitting pot holders.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
Joey: And, uhh, maybe the watering can there.
[Joey leaves]
Joey: (frustrated) Still not hot enough!
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
[Joey rushes over.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Joey: (happily) Really?
Joey: (snaps his fingers) We could climb Mt. Everest!
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Joey: I like it.
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.