words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
JOEY: Art.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
MONICA: Joey.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Ross, wait!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Joey: Damn it!
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: Good luck, good luck!
Joey: This is so cool!
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Joey: Oh!
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
Joey: Alright.
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that?
Joey: We gotta get them out of there!
Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave.
Joey: Oh!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little.
Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball!
Joey: Oh God! So what do we do?
Joey: It did not.
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Joey: Okay. Here goes.
Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica)
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there.
Joey: Okay, here we go. I can't do it.
Joey: Yeah. No-no I-I know I might not win, but its just Ive never even been nominated before! I want it so much.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah.
Joey: I could get a goose!
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I love you!
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
Joey: Has it always been purple?
Joey: Yeah. I guess so.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
Joey: Oh wow thats a great idea! And I still have his credit card.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah. I mean, its Joey. I dont want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!
Joey: (Holding a turkey leg) Theres gravy?
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
JOEY: Hey Phoebs.
(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand)
Joey: That's fine. I'll just have a Tic-Tac to hold me over.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
Joey: Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?!
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Joey: Yeah, or-or to get a hooker.
(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)
Joey: yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
JOEY: All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty.
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
Ross: Its called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.) Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!
Joey: Catwoman, hands down.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Joey: (stands up, and throws his coat on the floor) Im Joey! Im an actor! I dont know squat about dinosaurs!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a paper as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Argh!
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, good idea. (he mimes hitting his head with his fist)