words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Joey: Alright!
Joey: (abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends.
Joey: (even more abashed) A place to eat spaghetti.
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
Joey: Uh!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Joey: I like those odds!
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was?
Joey: I did?
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
Joey: Ooh! Tough odds!
Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around!
Joey: (excited)Did you get it?
Joey: (Still excited)By you!?
Joey: I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine.
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
Joey: Can't really say!
Joey: (slightly irritated)I'm not really comfortable with these questions!
Joey: I won, hey!
Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.
Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me!
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Joey: Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica)
Joey: (in pain) Oh!
Joey: No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window)
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Joey: And what did she say?
Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything?
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.
Joey: Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.
Joey: Oh yeah.
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
(Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house)
Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
<Joey is walking around looking worried. >
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Oh what then? Kick me?
Joey: Hey.
JOEY: [in a fake voice] Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. [hangs up]
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Joey: Yeah, I thought you knew that.
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: Hey thanks.
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Rachel: Joey? Whats up?
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Monica: I just talked to Joey, I justI want to see how you were.
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Chandler: Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...)
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are having dinner.]
Joey: Uh-huh, long time.
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Joey: But over the past few weeks
Joey: Uh How long have we known each other?
Joey: Im not quite sure.
Joey: Im falling in love with you.
Joey: Actually uh, could you give us a second?
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Rachel: Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I
Joey: Does it really matter?
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Joey: Sure!
Rachel: Oh Joey honey I dont I dont want to lose
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Joey: But. (Hangs his head down.)
Rachel: Is Joey here?
Rachel: Joey? Are you in there?
Monica: Joey, you have to talk to her!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel walks up the stairs and knocks on Joeys door.]
Joey: (hearing Rachel and jumping up with his plate) Oh God! Thats Rachel!
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! <motions her to come over>
Joey: All right so, so what do I do?
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Hey.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: I.. I.. I need a good lie.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
Joey: Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Thats crazy!
Joey: What he wants to buy your baby?!
Joey: Oh hey! You got my parents gift! (Holds it up.)
Joey: Okay, how did this even happen?
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
Joey: I do not.
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Joey: And of course, crotchless panties.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Joey: What?! Why?!
Joey: You lied to me!
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Joey: So? What-what-what happened?
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Joey: What?! Oh my-oh my God!
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!
Joey: Hey!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Joey: I know