words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Joey: (on phone) Oh my God!
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Hey, Im back!
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Wow! Sure! Thats great!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: So What?
Joey: Yes!
Joey: No. What?
Joey: Barmifsaed?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Thats right.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: Unless what?
Joey: Like what?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.]
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Joey: And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks?
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If youre gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.
Ross: Sure! Oh, and Joeys got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Joey: Is everything okay?
Ross: Uh-huh. Thank Joey!
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Joey: Hi.
Phoebe: My God, Joey!
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that.
Joey: Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, Ill go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye.
Gary: No, Joey!
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Ross and Joey: Bye!
Joey: Dude! How come you took off?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Is something wrong?
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense
Joey: How good is that?
Joey: See?
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: I kinda feel like it's my fault.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Joey: Whoa, wait, Pheebs, wait a second! Dont you wanna stay here and talk about it?
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Joey: Hey, what time is it?
Joey: Hey!
Joey and Ross: No.
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Joey: It's not a cat!
Joey: It's not a cat!
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Uhh, the ball thing.
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
Joey: (catches the ball) Uh-oh.
Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: Oh, I don't know . Yeah, can't do it.
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
Joey: Oh, don't worry, it's not a cat.
Joey: I was thinking Chinese food.
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Joey: Hey! Youre back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.
Joey: That's right baby.
Joey: Oh yeah, that's right!
Joey: Sure! It flushes it.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat!
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Joey: Hey, what have you guys been up too?
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
Rachel: (Glances at Joey and then sips his coffee) There. Now there is.
Joey: Uh-huh, not as high as (picks a card) It worked! King!
Joey: (With a confused look on his face.) What?
Cecilia: Right. Hes not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, its a little weird, but its getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, Im gonna miss this woman so much. I dont know what Im going to do! I mean, its been 20 years of my life.
Joey: Whoa-whoa dad? There's a dad in the commercial?
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Joey: Eh, what are you gonna do?
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Joey: Uhhh, mine too! Yeah.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Joey: Oh umm, not go.
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: All right! Thanks Pheebs!