words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Joey: (on phone) Oh my God!
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Hey, Im back!
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Wow! Sure! Thats great!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: So What?
Joey: Yes!
Joey: No. What?
Joey: Barmifsaed?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Thats right.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: Unless what?
Joey: Like what?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.]
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Joey: And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks?
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: Ohh.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Joey: Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Which goes where?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: You got screwed.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Joey: Shut up!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Monica: Hey Joey, come taste this.
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Joey: (entering carrying a box) Hey!!
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right?
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Joey: Hmm, soup. (Pause.) I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup!
Joey: You a little sad about that sweetheart?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Joey: Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh?
Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.
Joey: Whoah!
Joey: What?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.
(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Joey: Y'miss it?
(Joey tries and visibly winces.)
Joey: That's ridiculous!
Joey: Um-hmm.
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
JOEY: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.
Rachel: Ohh! And Im one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!
Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Joey: Let it go, Ross.
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Joey: Alan.
Joey: Instead of...?
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
(She pulls Joey towards her and dances really close to him.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!