words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Joey: (on phone) Oh my God!
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Hey, Im back!
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Wow! Sure! Thats great!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: So What?
Joey: Yes!
Joey: No. What?
Joey: Barmifsaed?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Thats right.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: Unless what?
Joey: Like what?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.]
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Joey: And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks?
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
(Ross and Joey urge Chandler to tell Rachel.)
Joey: I think Im gonna cry!
(Chandler laughs, turns, and sees that Ross and Joey arent happy.)
Joey: Okay listen, how are you gonna ask her?
Joey: That sounds perfect!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Hey Rach!
Joey: How could I not get the part? The play was about a 29-year-old Italian actor from Queens.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Joey: (to the dealer) Can I change a hundred? (He hands him his chip.)
Joey: Where are you going?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now youre thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Joey: Yeah, hey hey, Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
[Scene: A Street, Joey is walking by Kristen who is still moving in.]
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Joey: I won! That was my guess!
Joey: What?! I dont have 20,000!
Joey: I guessed 20,000!
Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.)
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!!
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Boyfriend?
Joey: Oh hi!
Joey: I dont know! Charity?
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
Joey: Im Joey. (They shake hands.)
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Joey: Okay.
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Joey: Yknow whats more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Yknow whats even more generous than that?!!
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
(Joey does the 232 divided by 13 bad news look.)
Joey: Got it! (He picks up a lamp.) So
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Joey: Oooooh
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Joey: Oh my God, youre back!
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are having dinner.]
Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him)
Joey: Glove salesman!
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
Joey: We didnt ruin it!
Joey: What?! Noooo (Phoebe gasps.)
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah, Big Brother.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Joey: Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler?
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Joey: Oh.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Phoebe: Joey.
Rachel: Joey?!
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Joey: Hey Monica!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Joey: Well, you know Chandler.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Joey: This is for my boat, pretty cool huh?
Joey: There are?
Joey: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Joey: Chandler loves marriage!!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!