words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Joey: Well, no not yet. But the audition went really good.
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Joey: (on phone) Oh my God!
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Hey, Im back!
The Casting Director: Hi-hi Joey.
Joey: Uh so, will-will I be reading the same scene again?
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Wow! Sure! Thats great!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: So What?
Joey: Yes!
Joey: No. What?
Joey: Barmifsaed?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Thats right.
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: Unless what?
Joey: Like what?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering and Rachel is still planning.]
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
Joey: And-and-and-and-and the toothpicks?
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
Joey: And whats cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Dream Joey: I love you too.
Joey: Uhh, well, she's really good in bed.
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Phoebe and Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: Uhh, just a minute officer!!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Chandler and Joey: Nice!
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Joey: Boy, that guy's underwear sucks!
Joey: Nope. Op, wait! There he goes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
Ross: Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Joey: This is your place?
Joey: Ugh!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
Joey: But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.)
Rachel: Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.
JOEY: Have you been here all night?
Joey: You kissed him?!
Joey: What happened?
Joey: (He goes into a song and dance number)
Joey: I knew I shouldnt have mentioned it! Thats what I wanted to name my kid!
Joey: Well you gotta kiss someone, you can't kiss your sister.
Joey: I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it?
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Joey: Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
Joey: Damnit!! Did you move?!
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching TV as Chandler enters.]
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
Ross: Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its the middle of the night. Joey is walking into the living room, and runs into the entertainment centre.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting at the bar, in their bathrobes, eating cereal]
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Joey: What, what!? it's for her hot friends!
Joey: (to Ross) That-that is a good trick.
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Joey: Okay, pick a card.
Joey: All right now, memorize it. (Pause) You got it?
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Joey: Luck!
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Joey: Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! Youve got cotton, silk, lace! And yknow what Ive always wondered about?
Joey: Done.
Joey: You're a dork.
Joey: All right!
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Rachel: Joey! I cant believe you just did that!
Joey: What?! Are you kidding?!
Ross: Joey, you look nothing like Ben.
Joey: Okay! Well need a six-pack of Zima.
(Ross leaves, and after the door closes, Joey gives him the loser sign.)
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Joey: No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left.
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Joey: (Happily) Yeah I did!
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Joey: Who knows?
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Monica: Who? Two divorces and Joey?!
Joey: Man, this is gonna be kinda weird.
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (To the guys) Hey!
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Joey: What? Chandler! Tell 'em!
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.]
Joey: Oh yeah, no problem.
Joey: Well this is noodle soup and uh, I've been working with tomato. But that's okay, no problem. No problem. Hmm, noodle soup.
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Joey: Uh-oh.
Joey: (angrily) Ross!
Joey: Hi!
Ross: (entering, angrily) Joey!
Joey: (sitting back down) Was the chord at least right
Joey: Hmm, noodle soup.