words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Joey: Looks good, uh?
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
Joey: What? Whats wrong?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Joey: Pretty nice?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Joey: Chandler!
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joeys Sisters: Oh!!
Chandler: Hi Joeys sisters!
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Mary-Angela.
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.
Joeys Sisters: Hey, Chandler!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Joeys Grandmother: No! I did!
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Mary-Angela: Joey!!!
Joey: Whats goin on?
Chandler: No Joey! No Joey! Dont Joey! Joey!
[Scene: A nice restraunt. Joey and Erica are dining.]
Joey: What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?
Joeys Sister: I say, punch him Joey.
Joey: All right.
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Phoebe: Okay. (One of Joeys co-workers, walks by with a dead tree.) Yikes! That one doesnt look very fulfilled.
Joey: Well, Im sorry. I thought parents were coming! Yknow? Your parents are comin! Chandlers parents are comin! Rosss parents are comin!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Phoebe: Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: What?
Joey: The what?
Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?
Joey: Who?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Its not that far! Just drop!
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Joey: Really? Thanks.
Joey: (unconfidently) O K.
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Joey: Whoa, I'm not done.
Joey: Done.
Joey: Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: What?!
Joey: Heeey!
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
[Scene: Joey's dance audition, Joey is warming up.]
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
Joey: Get out your checkbook, mister.
Joey: (raises his hand) I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer.
Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)
Joey: People, people, people.
Joey: C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
Joey: Cool.
Joey: Hey.
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Joey: All right, you got it.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Joey: Ah, now Rach, these ah, these little women.
(Joey comes out of the bathroom reading a newspaper)
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
Joey: These little women. Wow!
Joey: No wonder Rachel had to read this so many times.
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.