words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Joey: Looks good, uh?
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
Joey: What? Whats wrong?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Joey: Pretty nice?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Joey: I dont know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Joey: Six months? Whoa thats rough.
Joey: Whoa, for like months?
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: How long since youve seen a girl naked?
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Joey: Hey! Look, if it didnt work its because you didnt tell it right! Show me how you did it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Ross enters.]
Joey: Yeah?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the kitchen counter and Ross enters from Rachel and Emma's room.]
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Good luck.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Joey: Yknow what? This is not fair to her. Lets just forget the tape!
Ross: Joey! No!
Joey: Youre right. (Mouths, "I know youll show me, right?)
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Joey: No, Im performing the ceremony. Im not wearing a tux.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Joey: Yknow, if they knew what they were doing they probably didnt give you real names either.
Joey: Oh-whoa, what party?
Monica: (rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Joey: (shocked) From the land down under? I didn't know that either!
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Joey: Hey dude, what's up?
Joey: Whoa! For a rich guy he's got, that's a pretty small TV.
Joey: Did you take that tape?
Joey: How do you know about that story?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are playing foosball as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
Joey: What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!
Joey: Id say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh
Joey: She hot?
Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Joey: How did she get me to settle down?
Joey: Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin to that place.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: Oh! (Motions to Joeys co-star.)
Joey: Oh sorry. Uh-uh, Kash?
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Joey: Hey you too!
Joey: This is my friend Rachel. Rachel, Kash, Kash, Rachel.
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Joey: No, couldnt care less.
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Uh, before we do uh, are any of Joeys special romance magazines in there?
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Joey: I said no.
Joey: (To Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.
Phoebe: I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joeys like in Checkers.) Chess!
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Ross: Joey what-what were you thinking?!
Joey: No
Joey: But sadly I could not be enticed.
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Kash: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey Kash. Uh hey-hey this is Ross. Ross, this is Kash.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Joey: (backs off) What? Whoo... What?
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Joey: Why?
Joey: Well Ross, what did you think she was gonna do?
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
Joey: No, I said fun!
Joey: I don't know. Who'm I'm married to?
[Cut to Joey going over to talk to Dennis Phillips.]
Joey: Well down at the adult video place down on Bleaker.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
JOEY: Right. Ok, ok, uh, ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.