words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Joey: Looks good, uh?
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
Joey: What? Whats wrong?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Joey: Pretty nice?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Joey: Heeeyy! Hey!
Joey: What is this? Fruit?
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
Joey: Come on baby, come on!
JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: Nooo, four.
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Joey: It's okay, these things happen.
Joey: They actually said that?
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
Joey: Okay, shoot.
Joey: I didn't get it?
JOEY: Alright. Cab driver number two?
Joey: Okay, what else?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Joey: Oh.
Joey: You do, thanks.
Joey: Wait a minute.
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
Joey: Hey!
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Joey: Her what?
Joey: What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech?
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
Phoebe: Joey.
Joey: You could drink the fat.
Joey: Hey-hey!
Joey: I know.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Did I get ya?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Joey is entering]
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Joey: Eh! There you go.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
Joey: What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
Joey: Ooh, very official.
Joey: We have a half hour.
Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?
Rachel: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(opens it)...it's a book!
JOEY: Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?
Joey: Why dont we just go on two.
Joey: So we are going on two?
Joey: All right, but in the future...
Joey: Wow, its big!
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Joey: Y'know what?
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
Joey: Well, thats really a different question.
Joey: Hey, theres a dog out there!
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
Joey: Maybe, my rulers wrong.
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.
Joey: Maybe she killed him?
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
Joey: Hey! (goes into the apartment)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is helping Joey pack.]
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I dont!
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Oh right, right.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Joey: Lifeguards.
Joey: Baywatch.
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Joey: Cool!!
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
Joey: (confused) Are we watchin the tape or not?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Joey: Guess what?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Joey: I got a gig!
Joey: (glares at him) I know!
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.