words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Joey: Looks good, uh?
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
Joey: What? Whats wrong?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Joey: Pretty nice?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
Joey: Oh, hey, dont forget your shirt.
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhh
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: Thank you!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just I just Kinda
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Joey: (To the pledge volunteers) How ya doin'? Welcome. Good to see ya!
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Joey: That makes sense!
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Joey: When theyre hungry enough, theyll come in.
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Joey: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.
Joey: But, I love you.
The Presenter: in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to (She opens the envelope) Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)
Joey: Shes a woman!
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.
Joey: Thanks!
Joey: It's not.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
Joey: Done!
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Joey: Yeah, wow, sorry Rach.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick!
Joey: What's the matter?!
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
Joey: Chandler.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay, great!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Joey: Really? Who-who have you taught?
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Joey: Yeah that'd be great! Thanks Pheebs!
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Joey: Umm, okay.
Joey: That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.
Joey: Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: No.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: Yes!
Joey: You look like a freak.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..