words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Joey: Look, were not throwing it out! I built this thing with my own hands!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Joey: Looks good, uh?
Chandler: (reading the ad) Stunning entertainment center. Fine, (pause) fine Italian craftsmanship. (Joey is very proud of himself)
Joey: Hey, the ad alone cost 300 bucks!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Joey: Oh. What do you do?
Joey: What? Whats wrong?
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Chandler: Yes, Joey has a very careful screening process. Apparently, not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Joey: Pretty nice?
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, about your mom...
Joey: (pause) Hows that going?
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Joey: This is the unit for you my friend. Sturdy construction, tons of storage compartments, some big enough to fit a grown man.
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
Joey: Okay. (he gets in the unit and closes the door) See?! I told ya!
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: (still trapped in the entertainment center) WHAT?!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Joey: Dude, you dont have to brag! We got nothing here!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
(Joey enters)
Joey: Hey you guys.
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Joey: Uh-huh.
Joey: What do you mean?
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no we came together!
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Joey: Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. (Joey shies away.)
Joey: I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
[Cut to Joey and Janine]
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Joey: Yeah?
Janine: Joey.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Joey: No.
Joey: 3, 2,
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Joey: Oh we kissed it up real nice.
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Mornin Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
[Joey gives her an understanding look.]
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Joey: (indignant) I was tired!
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Joey: See ya tomorrow!
Joey: What?
Joey: I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Joey: Blah?!
[Cut to Joey and Janines.]
Joey: I guess.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
JOEY: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Hi!
Joey: (scolding) Dude, theyre not objects.
Joey: Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Joey: Kay!
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
[cut back to Joey on the beach towel]
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Joey: U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
Joey: You dont think I know that!
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
(Joey pats him on the stomach and heads to bed.)
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.