words in movies
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Duh, where've you been?
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
Joey: (entering) He's back! The peeper's back!
Joey: (ducking) Get down!
Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?
Joey: ..Naughty!
Joey: Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or- (Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.) That's fine, yeah...
(Joey exits.)
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Joey: (watches them for a while) Oh my.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like(Listens)Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..
Monica: Joey!!
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.
(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)
Joey: Big day.
Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
(Joey is bent over at the waist and is looking for something under Monica's bed.)
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
(Joey holds his fist up, and Chandler gives him two thumbs up.)
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
Joey: All right, I'll take care of it.
JOEY: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
[Scene: The Men's room, Joey is entering and sees his hand twin washing his hands.]
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Chandler: I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Joey: Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually its just gonna be me again tonight.
Frank: Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. (to Joey) Im gonna, Im gonna get my ah, my fianc�e man!
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, but her birthday isn't like for another month.
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
Joey: (Writes it down) Joe Stalin. Y'know, that's pretty good.
Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who Im taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Joey: Uhh, like dark hair, bushy beard?
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Joey: If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call.
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
Joey: Yeah. Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about the three of us?
Joey: Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned.
Joey: Umm, no. No best friend, no. Just a lot of close friends.
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Joey: Closeness-shmoshness! There was three of us for crying out loud!
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Joey: I cant! I-I dont have any other clothes here.
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Chandler: (to Joey) Does this mean were gonna have to start paying for coffee? (Joey shrugs his shoulders.)
Rachel: (Brings Joey a mug of coffee) Okay, here we go...
Joey: What the heck is that?
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Joey: (opening the door wearing nothing but a sock, and holding a dart board over the `Little General.') Hey! (Chandler turns down the TV) Now, we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her, but do you mind?
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.]
Joey: (mad and pointing a finger to himself) JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?
Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)
Joey: Because you waited too long to make your move, and now you're in the friend zone.
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
All: Nooo!! (Joey quickly stops nodding his head.)
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Joey: So I'm thinking, basically we pick it up and then we flip it.
Joey: Correct! Theres a possible backwards bonus!
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little til they get there?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
(Joey sits down and changes the channel, and we see two people making out.)
Joey: Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandlers eyes!
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?