words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, good idea.
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Joey: Ooh, Ross, look! Look! (Points behind Ross.)
Joey: Right over there! Right there! Look-look-look!
Joey: (to the rest of the gang) Somebody help me out here!
Joey: You got to go on a ride along?!
Joey: I want to go on a ride along!
Joey and Ross: Yeah!!
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Joey: Oh-ho, yeah!
Joey: Yep!
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
Joey: Yeah, okay.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?!
Joey: Half the taste is in the smell! You-you're sucking up all the tastiness!
Chandler: Okay, I'll give them back. (Exhales strongly through his nose and Joey just glares at him.) Look! What is so great about that sandwich?
Joey: Okay, imagine the best sex you've ever had.
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Joey: Yeah, what's that like?
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Joey: Oh what? Like your Mr. Cop!
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?
Joey: Is everything okay?
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
Joey: (To Ross) You okay man?
Ross: Uh-huh. Thank Joey!
Joey: Hi.
Gary: No, Joey!
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Phoebe: My God, Joey!
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that.
Ross and Joey: Bye!
(They leave as Ross stares in awe at Joey.)
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: Dude! How come you took off?
Joey: Is something wrong?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Joey: I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!
Joey: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I knew you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he need help. He's not street like us!
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Joey: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
Joey: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me, (He unwraps the sandwich and holds it out for Chandler) here.
Joey: No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!
Joey: How good is that?
Joey: See?
Joey: Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?!
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Joey: What party?
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Joey: It's a science.
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Monica!
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: Me.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Joey: Hey!
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn
Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
(somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie)
Joey: Come on in, how are ya?
Joey: I know, yeah!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Joey: (looking puzzled and nodding) Ok!
Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first?
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
Joey: (looking puzzled) I don't think so.
Joey: Ross!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
(Joey walks in and moves towards Ross, who's sitting of the sofa)
Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know!
Joey: Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem.
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Joey: Thanks.
Joey: The Metsss!
Joey: Ok, all right, so I'll take her to the MET.
Joey: You got to tell me exactly what to do there.
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused)
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Joey: Ok.
Rachel: Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream...
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?
Joey: Dont start doing that. You cant do that Rach, cause then youre gonna make me do that. (Starts to cry.) Oh, here we go! (Sits down next to her.)
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: (to Charlie) You're ready?
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Joey: Oh hey Rach!
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Joey: What's the matter, Pheebs?
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Joey: Bye.
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy?
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha!
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Phoebe: You like Joey?
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?