words in movies
Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
Joey: What's happenin'?
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Joey: (yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Joey: You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)
Joey: (sounds tired) Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Joey: What party?
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Joey: It's a science.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Joey: Monica!
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Joey: (discarding all the remaining tissues one by one) Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass...
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Joey: Me.
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
Joey: Gotcha.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Monica: Joey hes not even thinking about going after Rachel!
<Joey is walking around looking worried. >
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Joey: Oh what then? Kick me?
Joey: Hey.
JOEY: [in a fake voice] Uhh, hello Miss Buffay. I know where your dog is. I want you to know that he'll be returned to you, almost as good as new, within, within 24 hours. Uh, goodbye. [hangs up]
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Joey: Yeah, I thought you knew that.
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
Joey: But what if uhand Im not saying she will beBut
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: Hey thanks.
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Rachel: Joey? Whats up?
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Monica: I just talked to Joey, I justI want to see how you were.
Joey: Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, were almost there! Were almost there!
Chandler: Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...)
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are having dinner.]
Joey: Uh-huh, long time.
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Joey: But over the past few weeks
Joey: Uh How long have we known each other?
Joey: Im not quite sure.
Joey: Im falling in love with you.
Joey: Actually uh, could you give us a second?
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: Yknow what? Dont worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.
Rachel: Joey, Joey I love you so much, but I
Joey: Does it really matter?
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Joey: Sure!
Rachel: Oh Joey honey I dont I dont want to lose
Joey: Oh no-no Rach, please, dont be sorry. Okay? Dont be sorry. (They hug again.) Yknow I was only kidding you.
Joey: But. (Hangs his head down.)
Rachel: Is Joey here?
Rachel: Joey? Are you in there?
Monica: Joey, you have to talk to her!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel walks up the stairs and knocks on Joeys door.]
Joey: (hearing Rachel and jumping up with his plate) Oh God! Thats Rachel!
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! <motions her to come over>
Joey: All right so, so what do I do?
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Hey.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: I.. I.. I need a good lie.
JOEY: Yeah. And uh, I paid for the other half.
Joey: Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Thats crazy!
Joey: What he wants to buy your baby?!
Joey: Oh hey! You got my parents gift! (Holds it up.)
Joey: Okay, how did this even happen?
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
Joey: I do not.
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Joey: And of course, crotchless panties.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Joey: What?! Why?!
Joey: You lied to me!
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Joey: So? What-what-what happened?
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Joey: What?! Oh my-oh my God!
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!
Joey: Hey!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Joey: I know