words in movies
Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... (pause) (Rachel is all bah-jiggity about Joey) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
Joey: What's happenin'?
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Joey: (yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Joey: You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)
Joey: (sounds tired) Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Joey: What party?
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Joey: It's a science.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Joey: Monica!
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
Joey: Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Joey: (discarding all the remaining tissues one by one) Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass...
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Joey: Me.
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
Joey: Gotcha.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Joey: Im out.
JOEY: Wow, look at that. The car is on fire, yet somehow it's expensive paint job is protected by the Miracle Wax.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!?
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
Joey: Oooh, the next parts the best, when that dead lady in the bathtub...
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Joey: No he doesnt!
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
JOEY: Goo, goo, goo, waaah!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry?
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Spocks birth control.
Joey: God, I just, I hate her! I hate her!! With her, Oh, Im so talented. and Oh, Im so pretty, and Ooh, I smell so good.
Joey: I have actually not heard of that.
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Joey: Well he made Rachel cry!
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
(Chandler and Joey are loaded down with baby stuff, and Ben)
Joey: What, what is it?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, absolutely.
[Scene: Mr. Treegers apartment, Joey is there to suck up.]
Joey: No-no, thank you.
Chandler: Thank you, Joey.
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Joey: What?
Joey: No I didnt.
Joey: All right.
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Joey: Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight.
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Joey: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
[They all turn around and look at Joey.]
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (intrigued) Really?
Joey: Oh well, okay, good luck.
Joey: How? I guess I could break down your door.
Joey: Go get em Treeger.
Joey: No, Im good.
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fights starting!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Joey: Hey.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Joey: It's 4:30.
Joey: Yeah! You don't like Kathy.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Joey: Is she great or what?
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)