words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
(Everyone claps and cheers, Joey mimics looking about with a gun.)
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Joey: Okay.
The Producer: Joey Tribbiani, this is
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow!
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, scene is continued from earlier.]
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is walking up to C.H.E.E.S.E. and Wayne.]
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Joey: Because she is!
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
Joey: Hey uh, where do you guys want this?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Joey: Okay. Okay. Umm Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. Its this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; theyre like putty.
Joey: Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?
[Scene: Ross' apartment , Chandler and Joey enter]
Joey: Hey, don’t get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: Well, so, stay for the museums!
Joey: It's okay, it's okay Rach, it's me. Put down the scrunchy.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Joey: Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Enter Joey]
Joey: Make the transfer! (She does so)
Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.
Joey: Oh, no don't worry about that, I swallowed that years ago.
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Joey: But he's the same.
Rachel: Joey, come on!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Rachel: Ugh! Joey, I have to go.
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is speaking Italian to Joeys grandmother. Im spelling phonetically.]
Joey: Oh, hey, how about this one. Ah, its says so in the script! Y'know ah, I-I dont know why my character likes you either, I mean it says in the script here that youre a bitch.
[Scene: Rachels birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.]
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
Joey: Original or crappy?
Joey: Really? She... she loves me?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler sits on the couch. Joey sits at the round table]
Joey: ... she's being unreasonable!
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Joey: It does?
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Joey: Look forget it forget it... I can't do it.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
Joey: Alright!
Joey: Uh!
Joey: Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?
Joey: I like those odds!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.
Joey: (who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?
Chandler: Kinda like Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler, Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen]
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Joey: I did?
Joey: (not yelling anymore)I was?
Rachel: Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!
Joey: Ooh! Tough odds!
Joey: (Still excited)By you!?
JOEY: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
Joey: (excited)Did you get it?
Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler enters to find Joey lying in the fetus position on the floor.]
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Joey: Can't really say!
Joey: I won, hey!
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Joey: Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Joey: Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch. Rachel is working.]
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
Joey: Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
Joey: (in pain) Oh!
Joey: Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Joey: And what did she say?
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: (checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything?