words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
(Everyone claps and cheers, Joey mimics looking about with a gun.)
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Joey: Okay.
The Producer: Joey Tribbiani, this is
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow!
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, scene is continued from earlier.]
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is walking up to C.H.E.E.S.E. and Wayne.]
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: Hot?
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Chandler: And Joey.
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Joey: Yeah, me too. (He flips up his armrest in disgust.)
Joey: So you uh, nervous about getting married?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!
Joey: Joey Tribbiani, a big fan.
Joey: Why-why would she go in the bedroom?
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Joey: Its a grand tradition!
Joey: Hey! Did you talk to Dennis about me yet?
Joey: In a minute!
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Joey: You do it!
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
Joey: I miss this.
Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
Joey: No, I-I miss hanging out with you.
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Joey: Hey! Its your bachelor party.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Joey: (laughing) You fall for it every time!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: No theyre not! Theyre ugly and stupid and delicious!
Joey: What?!
Joey: Phoebe!
Joey: She is?
Joey: I just want you to say it once in a while.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is helping Joey with his tie.]
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Joey: Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. (Thinks about it.) Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
(Joey enters eating potato chips.)
Joey: Oh hey!
Monica: (to Will) Joey.
Janine: Hey Joey, I got some beer for you.
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Joey: Whoa, I didnt know we could date your sister!
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Joey: (quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Chandler: (writing) Monica, there are no words (To Joey and Ross) There are no words! This should not be this hard!
Joey: That hot girl from their wedding?
Joey: (To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?
Rachel: What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: Joey stop staring! Theres nothing there! Its not true!
Joey: You are my Everest.
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Joey: No just, nobody press on my stomach.
Joey: Not now! These are my Thanksgiving pants!
Monica: Well Joey, were all were all very proud of you.
Phoebe: Joey! Those are my maternity pants!
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
(Joey notices Monica has gotten a pie.)
Joey: Yeah! And hey, thanks for coming with me. And thanks again for helping me take a shower.
Joey: All right, well finish your coffee; lets go.
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Joey: Okay, so will you meet with her?
Joey: Oh hey Rach, listenHi!
Joey: She took em!
Joey: Whoaheywh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Joey are playing Rock em, Sock em Robots.]
Joey: All right now All right, youre all set up. Youre good to go. Just hit record. All right?
Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?
(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey has brought Dina to meet with Rachel.]
Joey: My little sister Dina!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im hardly a
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Joey: (angrily) What?!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!