words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
(Everyone claps and cheers, Joey mimics looking about with a gun.)
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Joey: Okay.
The Producer: Joey Tribbiani, this is
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow!
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, scene is continued from earlier.]
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is walking up to C.H.E.E.S.E. and Wayne.]
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Joey: (trying not to be obvious) Take the bra off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is at the bar and Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
[Scene: Joeys work, selling Christmas trees.]
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.)
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: Hey.
Joey and Chandler: (stopping her) Oh no-no-no-no!
Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop.
Joey/Drake: Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Joey: Yeah right.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he likes porn.
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
Joey: You play hard to get.
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are there eating pizza as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Joey: (pause) Nothing. No, nothing.
Joey: Okay, I see what's going on here.
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Noo! Nothing!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
[Scene: Joey is back at Hayley's place after there date.]
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: One.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.]
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: I think youre right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandlers head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joeys.)
Joey: Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great!
Joey: Pheebs! Youre blocking the porn! Look out!
(Joey closes the door behind her.)
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What do ya say? What do ya say?
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
Joey: No, but Im gonna!
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
Joey: Someone you didnt make up!
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
Joey: Yeah, that guy really hurt us.
Joey: So I guess its Joey then!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
Joey: Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Wheel of Fortune, the puzzle is showing _oun_ Rush_ore.]
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: Hey! I did not cry my eyes out!! Come on! Its like the end of an era! No more J-man and Channies!!
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Joey: Its not that bad.
Joey: So, youre just Bing?
Joey: See you later, Gene.
Joey: Dude, I am sorry about what I said!
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is drinking coffee by the counter as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Uhh, Pheebs, those are uh, those are Santa pants.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: You have Knicks tickets?
Joey: Yeah, you do!
Joey: Come on!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
Joey: We dont make enough fun of you already?
Joey: What?
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Joey: Whoa!
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Joey: Huh.