words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now youre thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Joey: Me too.
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Joey: WhatBut you saw the show!
Joey: Dry cleaners?
Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
Joey: Oh, youre kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? Im an actor; Im kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Phoebe: Joey!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-IHey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Joey: Hey Gunther.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Joey: At least I care about his feelings!
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Chandler: Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: Yes!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is sitting at the counter reading a magazine as the phone rings.]
Joey: Really? Thats great! You and my sister, sittin in a tree.
Joey: Let me see that!
Joey: Hey! Any good mail?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: (entering) Hey Estelle, listen
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Joey: What?!
Joey: Bastard!
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Joey: Yeah! I don't want you on the trip!
Joey: Oh-ooh-ooh! Yknow whats a good visual aide?
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Joey: Yes!!! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: What? Ace is high! Jack, queen, king, ace!
Joey: Yeah, okay. (Leaves)
Chandler: No, not us (Motions Joey and him.) Us! (Motions Monica and him.)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Okay. (Starts screaming.)
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
[Cut to later, the gang, minus Joey, is watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.]
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Joey: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey!
Phoebe: Were just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back.
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
JOEY: Well, you know that guy that's on my show that's in a coma? He's havin' a brunch.
Joey: I dont know, maybe we werent ready to have a chick.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is coming up the stairs and sees Chandler trying to open the lock.]
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
(Joey lies down on the gurney.)
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)
Monica: Oh stop it. Joey already told me.
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Joey: Sure!
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Why not?
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
(Joey goes back into the apartment, runs back into the hallway, throws his shoulder against the door, and knocks it down off its hinges.)
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.