words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now youre thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Joey: Me too.
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Joey: WhatBut you saw the show!
Joey: Dry cleaners?
Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
Joey: Oh, youre kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? Im an actor; Im kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Phoebe: Joey!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-IHey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Joey: Hey Gunther.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Joey: Im telling ya, you guys are totally getting back together!
Dream Joey: Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed.
Joey: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
Joey: I mean, theres no way I can make myself taller now, yknow? And who knows what science will come up with in the future, but Chandler, what if I die an unsuccessful, regular sized man?
Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Joey: Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size.
JOEY: Well uh, I had breakfast here so technically I saved $3.50.
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
JOEY: All the way to the airport huh? You know that's over 30 miles, that's gonna cost you about so bucks.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Joey: Who invented bifocals?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
Joey: (stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
(Joey hands her the cheese without looking at her.)
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Joey: (outraged) A MONTH??
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for now. Yeah. I dont want to be over rehearsed.
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Joey: ..ah, what're you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Joey: Then you go to Tokyo.
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
Joey: Bye-bye. (The interviewer leaves and he sits down with the rest of the gang.) I did it!
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.
Joey: Come on man, you drove all the way up here.
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Joey: I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat!
Monica: Oh my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Erin: Hey Joey!
(Joey and Chandler start to leave, Joey is lunging as he is walking)
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
JOEY: Geez, look how fat she got.
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Joey: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey: No, I wasnt gonna ask you that, no.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Joey: So, system kinda broke down huh?!
Joey: My whole familys from Naples!
Joey: Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off.
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look! (in a low voice) Oh... Ross.... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now.
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Joey: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are standing around in the kitchen.]
Joey: (on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!
Monica: (stopping Joey from answering) Ohh! Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is in the kitchen as Joey enters from his bedroom.]
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.]
Joey: Were playing Strip Happy Days Game!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Cecilia is entering the living room from Joeys room followed by Joey.]
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Joey: Have you heard about a little something called, Not Making Girls Cry.
Joey: Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Rosss points!
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang, except Joey, is there. Phoebe is, well you y'know.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is uh, is she gonna be all right?
Joey: But what about how much taller he is than me?
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
Joey: Hey-hey don't look at me! I just work here! (Walks away.)
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
Joey: It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
[Time lapse. Chandler and Joey are making the fire, Monica and Phoebe are inside. Ross enters, carrying luggage.]