words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now youre thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Joey: Me too.
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)
Joey: Hey! So Im back.
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Joey: WhatBut you saw the show!
Joey: Dry cleaners?
Joey: Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
Joey: Oh, youre kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? Im an actor; Im kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Phoebe: Joey!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-IHey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Joey: Hey Gunther.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
JOEY: Hey I- [she cuts him off with a kiss]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Ross: Thanks. (Joey hugs him) OK.
Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Wow.
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
(Joey tires of this, so he gets up to leave.)
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
[Scene: Outside the beach house, Ross is telling Joey and Chandler what happened with Rachel.]
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Ray: Uh Joey, didnt your agents give you the revised rules? Weve eliminated all of that. No wheel, no cards.
Joey: What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
MONICA: Joey.
[Joey finishes his cereal, licks his spoon, and puts it back in the silverware drawer.]
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
JOEY: Page 42, page 42, page 42.
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
JOEY: Phoebs, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing Richard at foosball.]
Joey: (triumphantly) The Unbearable Likeness of Being!
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
JOEY: Man you are incredible.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Joey are playing foosball for the table.]
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
JOEY: No. No way, I'm not signing that.
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.
JOEY: Alright, no peeking. No peeking, no peeking, no peeking.
RACHEL: Joey.
[Joey opens the door]
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Ross: The wheel has not been my friend tonight Joey. Uh, Ill take another question.
JOEY: Hey.
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Howd it go?
Joey: Great! Problem solved!
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: Unless you wanna practice the Foxtrot again? Or-or the Tango?
JOEY: No, can we get back to me?
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
JOEY: Anybody want a croan.
JOEY: So, you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: I'm sorry. See ya.
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
JOEY: Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. [laughs hysterically]
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
JOEY: What is it?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Ross enter.]
JOEY: Oh my God.
JOEY: Ahh.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: So what.
JOEY: Yeah.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
JOEY: That's a two line part.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!