words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Joey: Please!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Rachel: Joey theres something that you should know. Dina?
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Joey: (angrily) What?!
Joey: Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: Joey, what are you doing?
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Joey: Oh youll take em!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: You went through my personal property?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are sitting at the table, Joey and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldnt be supportive!
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
Joey: Because! Cause Cause youre my baby sister!
Joey: Thats right! By his uncle too!
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didnt deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
JOEY: Hey Gunther, let me get a lemonade to go.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Joey: HEY! I never have an off night ok although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy BUT EVEN THEN I'M BETTER THEN MOST!
Joey: Dont worry, Tribbianis never get full.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: (raises his hand) Some guy!! (Points to himself.)
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
(Dramatic music plays and Joey does a little Smell-the-fart acting.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
Joey: Oh, whats wrong?
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Joey: Then why did I ask?
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.
Joey: Youre Rachel!
Rachel: Youre Joey!
Joey: Youre my friend!
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
Joey: I know!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: But plus, it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Joey: This conversation never happened!
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Joey: Good night!
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Joey: Ooh, great! Thanks!
Joey: Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Joey: Why dont I take you out?
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are there as Joey is entering excitedly.]
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Joey: Ill be fun.
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? Were on a date.
[Scene: A Restaurant, a waitress is taking Joey and Rachels dinner order.]
Joey: Yknow what? Bring her both, and Ill have the same. (The waitress leaves.)
Rachel: Ohh, Lilies. Joey, theyre my favorite. Thank you.
Joey: Alright, so so tell me one of your moves.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Ross is living with Chandler and Joey. Joey and Ross have built a fort out of boxes, Chandler enters and they stand up slowly.]
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.
Joey: (exasperated) Queens.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Well, unfortunately, I don't get many callbacks so
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Joey: Yeah, it is. Its really tough. Yknow sometimes I thinkWow!! Nice move!
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Joey: Chandler?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Rachel: Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.
Joey: Huh. Huh.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya