words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Joey: Please!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: That one will.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
(Rachel and Joey hug, and Rachel turns to enter the apartment through the side window again. At that moment Joey tries to climb over the edge of the balcony.)
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Joey: The balloon?
Joey: Nope, not that one.
Joey: Huh. But still Ross, youre worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Yknow what I mean?
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Joey: Oh, I will.
Joey: The bigger half.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy.
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Joey: Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late.
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Joey: Ooh ooh ooh ooh, there's no room for milk!
Joey: Have you kissed her yet? Its awesome! I could do it forever! Yknow what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks!
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
Joey: Uh, four.
Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?
Joey: All right, me neither! I was just testing you!
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Joey: Wow, that's, uh, dirty.
Joey: Hey, kids...
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Joey: (Approaching) Hey Fun Bobby! Whoah! Who died?
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Joey: There y'go, kids.
Joey: OK. (Ross goes out on the balcony to talk to Rachel)
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Joey: You seen Sandy?
Joey: Looks like that no date pact thing worked out.
Janine: Joey, you dont have to count down every time we kiss.
Joey: No you cant do that, where would the chick and the duck live?
[Scene: A fancy restaurant, Joey and Monica are there, meeting Angela and Bob, who Monica thinks is Angela's brother.]
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Joey: Nonono, you can't kiss Ross, that's your brother.
Joey: C'mon, she's your mom!
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Chandler: Too many jokes... must mock Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Joey: I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.
Joey: Yeah, o-o-o-o-okay anyway, I just wanted to say Im sorry. Here. (Hands him a cup.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Right. No big deal.
(Enter Joey)
Joey: You don't think my mom's sexy?
Joey: (shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)
(Joey and Ross go into Monica and Rachel's apartment)
Joey: So are you gonna tell him?
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
[Scene: Joey's room: Joey is sitting on his bed reading DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Chandler: (To Joey) You knew about this?
[Scene: Joeys apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.]
Joey: I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
Monica: Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Joey: Well, this-this-this was great. Didnt everybody have a great time?
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: That makes more sense.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Joey: Need a new table.
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Joey: That's the rule.
Joey: Yeah