words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Joey: Please!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: Yeah, all of us! All day!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Joey: Phoebe!
Joey: Mine!
Joey: Which, is the new plan!
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
Joey: Ooh, something hurts!
Joey: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Joey: Oh my!
Joey: Not in my head.
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Joey: Yeah, I was bummed too.
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Joey: Or?
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
(Joey starts breathing hard)
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Joey: Argh!
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: Oh my God.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Joey: But I'm the host!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey Pheebs!
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Monica: Wait! What about Joey?
Joey: But it's dark out.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Joey: Hi!
Joey: How're you doing?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.