words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Joey: Please!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Joey: Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.
Joey: Look, Ill come to the party but Im not dressing up.
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey and Monica are arranging flowers. Chandler walks in.]
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: What? What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!
Joey: Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.
Joey: You practice losing the Grammies too?
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Joey: Guess I don't know. My experience: if a girl says yes to being taped... She doesn't say no to much else, I tell ya...
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Monica: Hey Joey?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Exclusively.
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Joey: Im not sure.
Joey: I would say, "Woman, please!"
Joey: All right!!! Okay!! All right! Okay-okay, I gotta get started on my speech! Oh, wait a minute, Internet ministers can still have sex right?
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
[Cut to Joey and Monica.]
Joey: So Ross?
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
Joey: So you think Ross too?
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Joey: Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
Joey: I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We (Ross and him) invented this game!
Joey: Rach?
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Joey: Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go?
Joey: No, Pheebs, listen, if you decide to do this, well be supportive like crazy.
Joey: (laughing) Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go!
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Joey: Or equally weak.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thats not so bad.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
Rachel: Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is making candy while Chandler and Rachel are taste testing and Joey is on the couch doodling.]
Joey: Hmmm, soup! (Tries again.) Hmm soup! (Tries again, with a little caveman thrown in.) Hmm, soup!
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Lets do it!
Joey: She is?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, okay. I I ate way too much.
Joey: I was kinda hoping youd stay.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Joey: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
Joey: (grabbing her) Here we go! Here we go! (Starts to pull her away from Kash.)
Joey: (climbing down from his chair) Do you uh, do youready for a refill?
Joey: Aww thats nice. Family should be there, huh? This is her wedding, happiest day of her life.
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, Im in my map and-and (Ross enters) Hey!
Joey: Hello!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Ohh!
Joey: Im up all night!
Joey: Im loud!
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Joey: Ew.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Isnt that great?
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: Hot?
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Chandler: And Joey.
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are now sitting in the living room.]
Joey: Yeah, me too. (He flips up his armrest in disgust.)
Joey: So you uh, nervous about getting married?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: Uh, that-thats-thats me!