words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Joey: Please!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Fat Joey: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go! (Groans and picks up a piece of food.) How you doin?
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Joey: Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So?
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
Joey: Great! Roomie!
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, Ill take a check for the other hundred.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Joey: Ooh! So close.
Joey: Good for you!
Joey: Thanks! I've been working out. Hey listen, is it obvious that I'm wearing six sweaters?
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.]
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Joey: Huh.
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Joey: (pause) Give me $400!
Joey: Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridgeour new fridge!
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: (pause) You pushed him!
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die?
Joey: Look, just because I know about you two, doesn't mean I like looking at it.
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Joey: Really?!
Joey: Call it even?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
Joey: Sure! I was there! Spring Break 81! Woo-hoo!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
JOEY: Is he gonna be ok?
Joey: Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
Joey: Oh yeah, I definitely know her.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: What?
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too.
Joey: Ahh, to be 13 again.
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Joey: Well, dont get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen.
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Joey: You really think so?
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks!
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
Joey: Well, its always nice to meet the fans.
Joey: All right well, Im outta here. Wish me luck.
Joey: Yeah, whatever. (Exits.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
Joey: Yeah, did I fool ya?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is there talking to the chick and duck.]
Joey: Oh yeah, I added three.
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Joey: The allergy guy got the part! Thanks!
Joey's Look-A-Like: Im Joey! How are you doin?!
Joey: What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what you think other people might be doing to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try something on me.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Joey: Name one!
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
[Cut back to Joey and Rachels apartment.]
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Ross: Sure, because women never like Joey. Yknow, I think hes a virgin.
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
Joey: Oh, oh, I got it! Pete-Chicago.
Joey: Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!