words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is showing everyone a poster as Ross enters.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Sure! Why not?!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Joey: Hello?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Joey: Definitely not invisible.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Joey: A little tall.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Joey: Please!
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Joey: Cool, thanks.
Joey: He hooked up!! Tell us about her!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
Joey: Loud and clear! (Mouths, "Youll show me," and nods.)
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: How young is young Ethan? Young?
Joey: So Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh?
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
Joey: Out.
Joey: You meant sex, right?
(Joey nods his head.)
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?
(Janice kisses Joey all over. Chandler smiles.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Joey: Uh no Rach, hes gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.
(Rachel slams shut her window and storms into the living room, where Joey and Monica are eating breakfast.)
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
Joey: He should take the sack?
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job.
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Phoebe: (Delighted) oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh my god! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, Hi! (Thrilled) You found Betty! Oh my god! (Hugging people) This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room, (still happy) Where's Joey?
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
Joey: It will be when you look like that in a tight skirt! This is great! Im getting more dates than ever!
Joey: Good luck, and uh, take care, huh?
Joey: (examining it) Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. (Monica drops the sandwich)
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Joey: (rushing in) Hey! Joey Tribbiani! Im here! Im here!
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
(Sarah enters the room again, and stops when she sees her dessert is missing. Joey has emptied her plate, and has a chocolate covered mouth, just like a kid.)
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Joey: (in disbelief) Vulva?
Joey: Urse...
Joey: Then, uh, then I'm sorry.
Joey: You don't drink.
Joey: I know...
Joey: Pheebs?
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Joey: We just got the message.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
(Joey enters, happy again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Uhhhh... Joey cried last night.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.]
Joey: (pause)...Yeah?
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: What?
Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Ross are there.]
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Joey: (taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?