words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
Joey: Oh hey Rach!
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!
Joey: What's the matter, Pheebs?
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Joey: Bye.
Joey: All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?
Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy?
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha!
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
Phoebe: You like Joey?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
Joey: Hello?
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Joey: No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
Joey: Oh! How's it going?
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Joey: Well, just wake him up!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Joey: Then don't go!
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused)
Joey: (lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Joey: Ok.
Rachel: Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream...
Joey: Come on! you... (reaches out to touch the imaginary painting again)
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is drinking a gallon of orange juice as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?
Joey: Dont start doing that. You cant do that Rach, cause then youre gonna make me do that. (Starts to cry.) Oh, here we go! (Sits down next to her.)
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: (to Charlie) You're ready?
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.
Joey: No! No! I am not a sex addict!
(Ross drags Joey into the hall and slams the door)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
Joey: (sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Joey: Hey Ross, wouldn't it be great if we could go two straight hours without dropping it?!
Rachel: Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Joey: Mmh-mmh.
Joey: Barbados!
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Joey: That... never happens...
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright!
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
Joey: No, why?
Joey: Oh man!
Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
(Joey spots them and walks towards them)
Joey: No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Phoebe: Not Joey.
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Joey: Hey guys!
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Atta boy!
Joey: Hi! Im Dr. Drake Remoray and I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: A widower.
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Joey: I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything.
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Joeys Grandmother: More of Grandmas teramisu.
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Joey: Night.
Joey: Yeah. (they leave)
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
(Joey laughs)
Joey: No, he really said it.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Joey: He said "erectus"!
Joey: Yeah, and so funny!
[Scene: Joey and Charlie's room]
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah...
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?