words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
Joey: Oh hey Rach!
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!
Joey: What's the matter, Pheebs?
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Joey: Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Joey: Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!
Joey: Bye.
Joey: All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?
Joey: So you're ruling out surrogacy?
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Chandler: (stopping Joey) ah-ha!
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
Phoebe: You like Joey?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
Joey: Hello?
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Joey: No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
Joey: Oh! How's it going?
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Joey: Well, just wake him up!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Joey: Then don't go!
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
JOEY: Yeah.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Thanks.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
JOEY: Charity.
JOEY: Me too.
JOEY: Fine.
[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
JOEY: Nooo.
JOEY: Come on you guys, one more time.
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid.
Joey: Yknow, Im beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
JOEY: And we don't work hard?
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
JOEY: Let me get that. (to Chandler) You got five bucks?
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
JOEY: Cool.
JOEY: Are you ok, Ross?
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
JOEY: Hat, milk, got it.
JOEY: No, seriously.
JOEY: You wanna smell him?
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Joey: (Spreading his arms wide) Yes.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
JOEY: Yeah.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Joey: Your sister stood me up the other night.
Annabelle: You bet. (to Joey) Maybe some other time?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
JOEY: I'm him.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Yes! Whew!
JOEY: Ahh!
JOEY: Heads.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.]
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
JOEY: Yes! There's still pie.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
JOEY: No problem. Hey Chandler
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
JOEY: Ok.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number?
JOEY: The guy still won't put out, huh?
JOEY: Ok. He kept my dollar.
JOEY: Maybe he's. . . gay.
JOEY: But uh, uh, what about uh, Ross and uh. . .?
JOEY: [to Ross] You're getting a cat?
JOEY: Do we need a cake?
JOEY: What?
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Monica: Oh Joey, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
PHOE: Hey Joey.
JOEY: And?
JOEY: So, so how did it happen?
JOEY: All right Phoebs, way to go.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Phoebe is settling a dispute between the chick and the duck.]
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: This man is my God.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
All: �Hola, Joey! (Hi, Joey!)
JOEY: Cool.
JOEY: Tongue?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey thats your wife youre talking about!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Ross: Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
JOEY: You could say that.
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.