words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in the canoe as Joey runs through the door carrying an outdoor patio table.]
Joey: Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there. (Goes back into the hall)
Joey: (Returning carrying a couple of rusted lawn chairs) Huh?!
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Joey: Just pickle.
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
(Joey creaks louder)
(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)
Joey: Yeah-eh-eah! (Rachel glares at him) Oh-oh, sorry, I-I knew what he meant.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
The Salesman: (Entering before Joey can say anything) Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house?
Joey: Uhhhh. (Hes not sure)
Joey: No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
(Joey just nods his head.)
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
All: Nooo!! (Joey quickly stops nodding his head.)
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Joey: Yeah-well-yeah! Yeah-oh-yeah. Come on in.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, The salesman is trying to sell Joey the encyclopedias.]
The Salesman: So, heres somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: He cut off his ear.
Joey: Im out.
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Spocks birth control.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Joey: Oh, I-I think Im gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.
Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!
Joey: Wh-whats going on?
Joey: No he doesnt!
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant.
Joey: Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Im not judging.
Erin: Okay. (Joey goes to get some coffee and Erin sits down.)
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
JOEY: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
[Scene: Back at the restroom at Marcel's. Chandler is still in the stall, Joey comes in to go to the bathroom.]
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Wow! That was good. That was...(points to his pocket) Tweezers?
Joey: (on the tape) I'm comin' out! (He opens the door and hops out pointing the gun in all directions and then runs out of view.)
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Joey: Mar-klan.
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Joey: I think so.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
JOEY: The Ice Capades?
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Joey: Pheebs, run!
Joey: After!!
Joey: No. Y'know how were always saying we need a place for the mail.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.
Monica and Joey: One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Here you go!
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
Ross: Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey youre with me.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-Im not playing with this guy, now.
Margha: Im sorry, Joey, that is my chose.
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didnt understand the question.
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Joey: This is great, this is great, what else, what else?
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
Joey: (looking at the timer) Thirty seconds left on the timer!
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
JOEY: Woah, dude, burn.
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Joey: Fumble!
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Joey: Oh yeah.
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Joey: Sure.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Joey: Set....hike!
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Joey: This sucks! I didnt know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! Im so tired!
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Joey: Youre smoking again?!
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)
Joey: Not a problem.
Joey: And now for the great news.
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
Joey: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Joey: Ah well, the ah, Pennsylvania Dutch, come from Pennsylvania.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I cant.
Joey: Id really prefer a mountain bike.
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey and Monica: (jumping up from behind the couch) Merry Christmas!!
Joey: Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. But uh, I dont think its the kind youre gonna like.
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Joey: Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
JOEY: I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom comin'.
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its Joeys party.]
Joey: Chandler!
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?