words in movies
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
Joey: That's right, yeah.
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Joey: What did I just say?
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room]
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Joey: Yep!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Joey: What?
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Joey: You slept out here?
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone?
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Joey: Yeaah.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Joey: (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice!
Rachel: Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!
Joey: Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
(Monica and Joey enter.)
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?
Joey: Excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Joey: Whadja think?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: Who's Rick?
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: (He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down!
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Joey: Me?
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Nope.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: My mom will.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: I got fired.
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Joey: Hi everyone.
Joey: What's up man?
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
Joey: You and Rachel.
Joey: It's never gonna happen.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)
Joey: Are you going to do it?
Joey: Do you want any help?
Joey: You can't go out there.
Joey: Good luck, man.
Ross: (to Joey) OK, here goes.
Monica: Joey, what's going on?
Joey: Because of... the reason.
Joey: I, um, can't tell you.
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Rachel: And Joey....
Joey: (entering) I cant do it!
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
(Ross looks at Joey.)
Joey: He cut off his ear.
Joey: We have a winner!
Joey: Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading the paper and Chandler is getting ready for work.]
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Joey: Not me.
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel are there.]
Joey: You guys okay?
Joey: Twice?
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, scene is continued from earlier.]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Joey: What?