words in movies
JOEY: Do we need a cake?
JOEY: All right.
JOEY: Well I guess I gotta start savin' up for Ross's birthday, so I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
JOEY: For Ross.
JOEY: Hi.
JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
JOEY: Cool.
JOEY: Sorry, sorry.
JOEY: What are these, like famous chickens?
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
JOEY: Thank you.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Ok, um, uh, we three feel like, that uh, sometimes you guys don't get that uh, we don't have as much money as you.
JOEY: 'Cause it's always somethin', you know, like Monica's new job, or the whole Ross's birthday hoopla.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Thanks.
JOEY: Look, it's a nice gesture, it is. But it just feels like--
JOEY: Charity.
JOEY: Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel.
JOEY: Me too.
JOEY: Fine.
JOEY: Come on you guys, one more time.
JOEY: Nooo.
JOEY: Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is really stupid.
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
JOEY: And we don't work hard?
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
JOEY: Let me get that. (to Chandler) You got five bucks?
(Joey lunges for phone and misses.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is packing as Chandler rushes in.]
(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
[The next one is from Episode 304: The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel, Joey is on Amazing Discoveries.]
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Joey: (nodding his head) Okay.
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?
Joey: Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!
Joey: And you're not supposed to be gossiping!!
Joey: Six years? Wow... It's almost as long as highschool...
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Joey: Hey. (Heads straight for the fridge.)
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Joey: All right Carl, were next. Now remember, what is not gonna be?
Joey: I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non-sex part of the date so much.
Joey: The green bottle next to the shaving cream.
Phoebe: Eeeee-(She opens the box and removes its contents and sees that it's a fur coat.)-ohh!! God! (She throws it at Joey.)
Joey: Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?
Joey: Oh nowHey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something?
Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her.
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
(One of the bridesmaids, Felicity, puts her arm around Joey.)
Chandler: Well Joey, Im a headhunter. I hook up out of work Soviet scientists with rogue third-world nations. Hi Rasputin! (Waves.)
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
Joey: Does calling it not mean anything anymore?!
Joey: Yeah! She is cool, and she's so smart! Her mind is totally acrimonious (which, being Joey, he mispronounces "amonious"). (pause) That's not how she used it...?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey and the girls are playing twister.]
Joey: oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)
Joey: So its noticeable huh?
Joey: (on stage in an Austrian accent) Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to pry more information about Chandler and Monica from Joey who's sitting on the couch and busy downing a pizza.]
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
Rachel: (looks touched) Joey, you never..you never talked about that before...
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Joey: (Returning carrying a couple of rusted lawn chairs) Huh?!
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.
Joey: Erectus?
(Chandler puts his face in his hands as Joey and Phoebe start to examine the trash.)
JOEY: Alright, alright. [climbs up in the next stall and looks over at Chandler] Woah, someone's flossing.
Joey: (entering) Hey guys! (Sees their state of undress) What 'cha been doin'? (Has a silly grin.)
Joey: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
Joey: Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt!
Joey: Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen!
Chandler: Joey, why is your cable out?
Joey: Imagine a protective porn bubble if you will, okay?
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Joey: (Spotting her movements takes her hand into his own) You are beautiful, you know that?
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Monica: Yeah. Go over to Joeys. Go over to Joeys and drink some beer and hammer up some drywall.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Joey: Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!
Joey: Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment.
(Rachel and Ross turn around and look at Phoebe and Joey with puzzled expressions on their faces.)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Joey: Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? (Chandler gives him a look like 'You stupid idiot!')
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
ROSS: [to Joey] Ssshh.
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Joey: Oh my God. (Still in shock when his mobile rings, he picks it up) Hello?
Rachel: Oh! Ow! (Joey motions, "You see what I mean?!")
Joey: (very excited) A TV as if it appears from nowhere! Thats the dream! Man, how did you afford this stuff?
Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby. (He starts chasing Chandler towards the Abbey.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is coaching his student.]
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
Joey: (More to himself than anyone else) So stupid, ordering cheesecake, trying to be healthy. (pushes it aside)
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is examining the injury to Rosita while Rachel is apologizing to him.]
Joey: Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
Ross: (excited and simultaneously as Chandler) Hungry monkey! (To Chandler) Haaa! (To Joey) Id like a Wicked Wango card!
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
JOEY: I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names their boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Joey: (sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.
Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is laying on his recliner, depressed, and the dog is laying on the footrest.]
Joey: Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?
Joey: (on the tape) Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. (The duck quacks, to the duck) Choo! Choo! Choo! (To the imaginary cops) Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it (the duck quacks louder) Choo!! And if I don't get it, (pause, picks up the duck) I'm gonna shoot this duck!
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)