words in movies
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
Joey: Whadja think?
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Joey: Who's Rick?
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!"
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Joey: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Joey: Me?
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here.
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Nope.
Joey: I got fired.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: My mom will.
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
Joey: Oh, hey, dont forget your shirt.
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhh
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: Thank you!
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just I just Kinda
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Joey: (To the pledge volunteers) How ya doin'? Welcome. Good to see ya!
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Joey: That makes sense!
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Joey: When theyre hungry enough, theyll come in.
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Joey: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.
Joey: But, I love you.
The Presenter: in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to (She opens the envelope) Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Joey: All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)
Joey: Shes a woman!
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.
Joey: Thanks!
Joey: It's not.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
Joey: Done!
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Joey: Heh... I was bluffing.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Joey: Yeah, wow, sorry Rach.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
(Joey enters and Chandler pushes her away.)
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick!
Joey: What's the matter?!
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
Joey: Chandler.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay, great!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Joey: (flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.
Joey: I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Joey: Really? Who-who have you taught?
(Both Joey and Chandler and Monica and Rachel jump up and down for joy.)
Joey: Yeah that'd be great! Thanks Pheebs!
Chandler: (waking Joey) Hey, check out that girl! She is really hot!
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Joey: Umm, okay.
Joey: That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.
Joey: Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its after Ross and Joeys talk with Frank, and Phoebes is finding out what happened.]
Joey: No.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: Yes!
Joey: You look like a freak.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..