words in movies
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)
Joey: Whadja think?
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Joey: Who's Rick?
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!"
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Joey: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Joey: Me?
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here.
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Nope.
Joey: I got fired.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: My mom will.
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are reading a magazine and Ross is chatting with Mona.]
Joey: Oh no-no-no, give me some specifics.
Joey: Which part exactly?
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
<Joey realizes what she's doing>
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Please!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: All right, what else?
Joey: Okay, five hundred dollars. What else?
Joey: Yeah. Okay, what else? Rent!
Joey: Which were still keeping under our hats!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Joey: (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin in or movin out?
<Joey nods in agreement>
Joey: wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.
Joey: (voice all high and weird) What?! Are you crazy?!
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Great advice on that Joey thing!
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey I got one! I got one!
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Joey: Rach come on, what?
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: All right! All right! Uh, umm, Super-Speedy Speed round!
(Joey is stunned.)
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: I guess.