words in movies
Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!!
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Joey: No.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.]
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Joey: Thank you. (he sits down)
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Joey: What's up?
Joey: (sounds disappointed) Oh.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Joey: Keep going Pinocchio!
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: You still here?
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Joey: And?... AND?
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Joey: Gladys?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: You're mean!
Joey: Yeah, all of us! All day!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Joey: Phoebe!
Joey: Mine!
Joey: Which, is the new plan!
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
Joey: Ooh, something hurts!
Joey: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Joey: Oh my!
Joey: Not in my head.
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Joey: Yeah, I was bummed too.
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Joey: Or?
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
(Joey starts breathing hard)
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Joey: Argh!
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: Oh my God.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Joey: But I'm the host!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey Pheebs!
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Monica: Wait! What about Joey?
Joey: But it's dark out.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Joey: Hi!
Joey: How're you doing?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.