words in movies
Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!!
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Joey: No.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.]
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Joey: Thank you. (he sits down)
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Joey: What's up?
Joey: (sounds disappointed) Oh.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Joey: Keep going Pinocchio!
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: You still here?
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Joey: And?... AND?
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Joey: Gladys?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: You're mean!
Joey: (goes over to Chandler) Hey buddy! Hows it going?
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: No, no, it's not a girl, it's... a brand new Hugsy!
Joey: Definitely!
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Joey: All right!
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Rachel: Heywhoa, slow down. (Gets a whiff of him) No, keep moving. (Joey runs off.) Wow!
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Joey: Guggly worm.
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
[cut back to Chandler and Joeys.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, that. All right, means that much to ya, Ill let you have her.
Joey: Oh no! How can she do that when she's never shown any interest in you?!?
Joey: Interesting.
JOEY: I just had a glass.
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: How ya doin?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah.
Charlton Heston: Joey, right?
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Joey: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Joey: Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah!
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: Yeah, all right. (Ross enters.)
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: I know what it did! Nothing.
Joey: Ohh, Nothing.
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
Joey: Like this. (Shrugs)
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
Joey: And there it is.
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Rachel: Its coming from Joey!
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
JOEY: Monica, relax, go get a beer.
Joey: No.
Joey: I totally dont know what youre talking about.
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Ross: JOEY!!!!!!
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
Joey: Well, why do you call him Gandolf?
Joey: I need something sweet.
[Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joeys sign destroying it.]
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)
Joey: The Red Ross! Okay.
Joey: Question. Was ah, Egg the Gellers! the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Well, its a long story, but umm I broke Joeys chair
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
[Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.
Joey: Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time.
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Joey: Yeah, what going on?
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
Joey: I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself but she was crying
Joey: Awwww!
Chandler and Joey: Surprise!!
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
Joey: Gettin drunk and going to a strip club.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: A little salami.
Joey: Pastrami.
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
Joey: You all right Chandler? Is there something funny about that name?
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.