words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Joey: And thats every month?
Joey: Ahhh.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.]
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Joey: Okay, youre on.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: You serious?
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: Okay, here we go. Ready?
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Joey: All right.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: Really?!
Joey: A four and a nine.
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Joey: (to Lauren) In a minute!!
Joey: I dont know. Its-its just lately, Ive been feeling Okay, heres what it is (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)
Phoebe: Oh, I have dinner plans with Joey. We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you guys.
Joey: Wow! This girl is good.
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: No-no, not for like another two weeks.
Joey: Okay, the last thing
Chandler and Joey: Whoa!!!
Chandler: Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear.)
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Joey: Yeah, right.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Okay. Uhh, tortilla chips, yogurt.
Joey: Well what is it?!
Joey: (going over to him) Well?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Joey: Yeah, maybe he just cheated on you.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Joey: Sure.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Yep. Ice Capades.
Joey: Okay, good, so there you go. Go with Vince.
Joey: Oh sure, go with the sissy.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, I meant Chandler.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Joey: Anyone mind if I save this?
Joey: Hi, how ya doing?
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Joey: Serious?
JOEY: No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
Joey: No! All right, who-who makes up the questions?
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
JOEY: Hey, woah, let's go down there and get your hat back.
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Joey: Itll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) itll be grrreat.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Joey: Tell us!
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
(Chandler and Joey stare at each other in shock.)
Joey: All right, well start with apples.
Joey: Yeah. What are we getting?
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Chandler: (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
(Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating at the counter as Joey enters.]
Joey: Dont you think I asked him that before he got in?!
Joey: Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Joey: No-o-o!!
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Joey: That youre actually 50?
Joey: Well, I think we all learned something.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Joey: Had the beef-tips, huh?
Joey: Hey, Bonnie had sex there!
Joey: No, its just my luggage.
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully)
Joey: Hey-hey, check out the hat!
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Joey: Come on! When you go away, you-you have to play, its like a law!
Joey: What?
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Joey: Okay, all right.
(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Joey: Fan out! Fan out!
Joey: All right, relax. Its just a shoe.
Joey: (jumping in triumph) OH YES!!!!!
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: Huh.
Joey: I know.
(Joey finally wakes up.)
Joey: Whats the matter, Pheebs?