words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Joey: And thats every month?
Joey: Ahhh.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.]
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Joey: Okay, youre on.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: You serious?
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: Okay, here we go. Ready?
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Joey: All right.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: Really?!
Joey: A four and a nine.
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
Joey: Later! (Exits.)
Joey: That was good beer.
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Joey: (surprised its Lauren) (hugs her) (whispering) Wheres Kate?
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Joey: Hey, Ross, Bodington's!
Joey: Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: Yeah but, I can pronounce Jurassic.
(Joey is intrigued.)
Joey: Okay, can I-can I make it up to you? Huh? Im sorry. (They hug.) How about uh, dinner tomorrow night?! Ill pay for myself!
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Monica: Joey, I'm in!
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Joey: Uh, okay, Pheebs?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)
Joey: Yeah, all of us! All day!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Joey: Phoebe!
Joey: Mine!
Joey: Which, is the new plan!
Joey: Nooo, I said we needed a new plan.
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?
(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
[Scene: Guru Sajs office: Joey and Chandler have taken the duck to see the guru.]
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: I gotta get the before shot!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is there. Joey enters.]
Joey: Ooh, something hurts!
Joey: Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Joey: Oh my!
Joey: Not in my head.
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
CHANDLER: Stop talkin' to your men. [Joey scores]
Joey: Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.
Joey: Yeah, I was bummed too.
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Joey: Or?
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
[Scene: Chandlers, Chandler is interviewing Joey.]
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: Ohh, get these things out of me!
(Joey starts breathing hard)
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Joey: Argh!
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Joey: Oh my God.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Joey: But I'm the host!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.