words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Joey: And thats every month?
Joey: Ahhh.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.]
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Joey: Okay, youre on.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: You serious?
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: Okay, here we go. Ready?
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Joey: All right.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: Really?!
Joey: A four and a nine.
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Joey: Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: Are you strippers?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Joey: You got it.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Joey: Yeah!
(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
Joey: Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around.
Joey: The ring is gone!
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Joey: Of course!! (Shrugs.)
Joey: Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus!
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: Hey
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
[Scene: The Sleep Clinic, Joey is having trouble staying awake.]
Joey: Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: What are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
Joey: If anything should happen to him
The Salesman: So, heres somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: Really?
Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news!
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
Joey: Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Joey: London baby!
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Joey: (louder) London baby!!
Joey: Bye, Pheebs!
Joey: More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! (Rachel just looks at him.) I didnt say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me!
Joey: Come on! Do something!
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)
Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: Really? To what?
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Joey: (answering phone) Stop callin!!
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Joey: But what does that gonna do...
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, I embarrass you?
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Joey: Thanks.
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: Whos seven?
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!
Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Joey: Two pizzas?!
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.