words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Joey: And thats every month?
Joey: Ahhh.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Joey: (looking at it) Oh my God!!
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Joey: This is how much we pay for electric?!!!
(Joey runs over and shuts off the lights.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
(Joey and Ross enter.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
Joey: (quietly) Ive got Ben.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is entering carrying two pizzas.]
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Joey: Okay, youre on.
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Joey: You serious?
Joey: Okay, get ready to owe me!
Joey: Okay, here we go. Ready?
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
Chandler: No! No! No! No(Joey looks at him)one can beat me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is examining the broken foosball table as Chandler enters from his room.]
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Joey: Nah, not my game.
Joey: Well, whats it called?
Joey: I dont know how to play Cups.
Joey: All right.
Joey: A two and a five.
Joey: Really?!
Joey: A four and a nine.
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: Damn! I am good at Cups!
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Joey: Uh, (counts the money) wow, 700.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: Its him, not it!
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
Joey: Over there! (Points to the couch) Before, with the bills! You tried to give some charity, I said "No," you dropped it. Okay? Then we had a nice last night together, we had some fun, we gambled, nobody tried to give anybody any money! Now out of the blue, you start with the charity thing again!
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Joey: Her answer machine?
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Oh-Wha-Ho! What are you middle naming me for?! I left you a note!
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Joey: Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.
Joey: Maybe she never got your message.
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: ..Naughty!
Joey: (intrigued) Yeah?
(Joey exits.)
(Chandler seeing that Joey has his eyes closed sneaks over and picks up the chicken. The chicken starts flapping it's wings in protest as Chandler holds the chicken inches from Joey's face. Joey stops yelling and upon opening his eyes sees the chicken, screams, and falls to the ground in horror.)
(Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Tiger! (Joey moves his hand in an attempt to do the chord, in fact he does it with each name.) Dragon! Iceberg!! (He fails.) Joseph, did you even study at all last night?
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Joey: If you get a second, find out where she got that cheeseburger.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Monica: Joey!!
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
JOEY: If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is decorating for Christmas.]
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
Joey: Big day.
(Joey and Chandler laughs)
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. Well stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post.
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Joey: You call that delicious?
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
[Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch]
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Chandler and Joey: Hey.
Joey: Where've you been?
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I cant believe this! Youre the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Joey: But I made cards!!
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Joey: All right. (Moves closer.)
Joey: What?
Joey: So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?
Joey: Dude, if you go back out there, youre gonna be Dead Ross!
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Joey: Stegosaurus!
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.]
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Joey: What about Andr�?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Joey: They're here already?
Joey: Uh, moist, yeah.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Joey: Weekend at Bernie’s.
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
Joey: What, are you crazy? When a blind man gets his sight back, does he walk around like this? (Joey closes his eyes and walks around with arms spread.)
Joey: All right, I'm going. I'm going.
Joey: For the ride.
Ross: Joey, get out of the fridge.
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
Joey: Can I see the comics?
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Joey: Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack...
Joey: Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa.
(The door bursts open, and Joey and Phoebe rush in.)
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
Joey: Oh, oh, oh, sorry.
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Joey: Oh yeah? And who do you like?
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Joey: Tribbiani.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Joey: It is.
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.