words in movies
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.]
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
Joey: Die Hard 2.
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Joey: And?
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if Im the best of the people they see, they give me the part.
Joey: Oh uh, me and Ross can be the judges.
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!!
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: Okay! When?!
Joey: Uh-huh!
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Joey: I want to do it again.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. (Ross just leaves.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how its going to work. Were gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Joey: Ive got cold feet.
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Joey: Okay, Phoebe
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Joey: Yes! Excellent! Perfect score!
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Joey: Yeah.
(Joey and Ross pause while they picture the event.)
Joey: And shes back in the game.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Joey: Great nap.
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Joey: Well, this-this-this was great. Didnt everybody have a great time?
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
Joey: I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here.
Joey: That makes more sense.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Joey: All right, so well get a little coffee, and get energized, and well head back out.
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Joey: Need a new table.
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Joey: That's the rule.
Joey: Yeah
Joey: Why not?
Joey: You knew about that?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: I say push her down the stairs.
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right
Joey: Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought youd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!
Joey: Or an uncle...
Joey: Yeah-yeah, its down to me and two other guys.
Joey: Sure, sure. Ok, (clears his throat and starts to read from his script. He starts talking in a fake French accent, making gestures with his hands) "Bleu de la bleu, de la blu bla bleu" (Phoebe looks astonished, annoyed and disgusted, Joey seems very proud though) See?
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Ross: (noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says )
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is looking at the foosball table.]
Casting Director No. 2: Next. (Joey walks onstage)
Joey: (offended) Oh well I think I am, yeah and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part.
Joey: (announcer voice) Rightie-O Ray!
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Joey: You cuddled.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey: Oh yeah!
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
(Joey enters with his dad)
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Joey: Since then?!
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are still playing catch.]
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?
Joey: Night, you guys.
Joey: I'm Joey Tribbiani.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
Joey: No you won't.
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Joey: No.
Joey: You really think so?
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?
Rachel: Okay Bobby, why dont we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
CHANDLER: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
Joey: Hey! Terry.
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Joey: Hold on, you-you knew?
Joey: Oww! Big ring!
Joey: I didn't know that! Well, what a pretty last name!
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?!
Joey: I'm...happy...for you?
Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: -Peaches?
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!